That was pretty bad. Her whole body was shaking. There was no way she was prepared for that. Not really sure why she gets special treatment but we will get to see her try again later.
Out in the line up two fathers are talking about representing for the fathers out there. One of those fathers is Jeffery Gutt. Jeffery has brought his four year old son with him. Unlike most of the parents we see Jeffery’s son has never heard him sing. Well kid, here’s your chance:
Jeffery Gutt – Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen
I was freaked out for a minute there as his timing was way off for the first few lines, but Jeffery caught himself. And then he starts to belt the heck out of it. We all know that I like rock and I really like his version of this song. I love the growly rasp. The judges, glad to have something different on stage, all adore him and throw him four YAY!’s quite happily. Simon even called it one of the most brilliant auditions he’s heard. Wow.
Outside a major storm is brewing, or God has just decided to become the fifth judge. It’s kind of funny as a montage of suck begins with God voicing his opinion every few moments. (Yes, I know it isn’t God but a random storm. Way funnier my way)
Soon though Krysten comes back to brighten our day. Krysten looks much calmer and so she begins:
Krysten Colon – I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston
Ho-lee Shit. I could not have been more wrong about this girl. Her singing was very breathy and way too far out of her range. She was actually pushing herself off key. Horrible. Even worse was that fun little hissy fit that she threw after the judges told her no. Calm the fuck down. I don’t care if you don’t care that you are embarrassing yourself but your poor family is stuck in this. Krysten’s mom apologises for her behaviour as Krysten runs off into the stormy night.
So that was tonight. Any favorites yet? Anyone you hope doesn’t make it another round? Does anyone else wonder if Simon has one well laundered white t shirt or does he just have new ones bought each week or does he have a wardrobe full?
I am loud mouthed and am not afraid to show my true colours. What you see is what you get. Unless you add wine. Then you get more.
In a perfect world I would rule it. And you would all bring me dirty rock stars. It would be a good life for all even though I wouldn't reward you. Your reward would be knowing I'm happy. Also, bring wine. I would like that. Don't be sad. If stuff wasn't all about me it would be all about the Kardashians. Lesser of two evils. Well, more tolerable of two evils. OK well, I at least would encourage drinking. JEEZ QUIT BEING SO NEEDY AND GET OFF MY BACK. I would let you use my air. There. Happy? Now leave me alone.
13 Comments
1
sfspurri
Posted September 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm
As much as I love the two girls from Rochester, MA (originally from New Bedford, my hometown, YAY!), I really am voting for Jeffrey and Vino (?? the guy with the tattoos on his face & head and performs for the troops). Other than their amazing talent, I have a thing for tattooed guys who are looking to use their talents to provide for their children.
2
Pat Ledoux
Posted September 21, 2012 at 6:02 pm
Jeffrey was AMAZING!!!!! I can so see him winning the whole shebang.
What a cooze Krysten was, sorry Toots, you can’t sing to save your life. Thank for flipping out and making my night.
The thunder was way cool, no?
3
sfspurri
Posted September 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Also, with Krysten, I love how her mom told her “You promised you wouldn’t act like this.” Which leads me to believe that her getting big fat no’s was discussed, and that her mom knows what a crazy b her daughter is. That’s when you, as a mother, go: “Whee! We’re off to the X Factor! We’re just going to stop here at some singing lessons, right across the hall from an inpatient anger management rehab center you’re going to hang out in for a week! IT’S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!”
4
realhousewivesfan
Posted September 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm
The Last pitchy bitch is just a Rihanna Big headed chubby copy cat, I bet she idolizes her. Anyway i Loved the Hallelujah guy!! Fav so far in the compettetion, my least is the born this way black transgender/gay male in a weeding dress to make the community look bad.
5
Gilty Plezzur
Posted September 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm
This is a real public service. I can just read this recap and I don’t have to endure the bloated version on TV.
Some thoughts:
My beloved, late dog used to leave deposits out in the yard that were very reminiscent of what Demi Lovato has on the top of her head in this episode.
A kid named Talon? Does he have siblings named Phalanges and Phalanx?
What has Simon done to his face? He’s looking quite waxen.
6
Pat Ledoux
Posted September 22, 2012 at 5:18 pm
@Gilty P., thanks for the chuckles, you should be a recapper! I couldn’t figure out what the hell that thing was on Demi’s head, now I know
7
Pat Ledoux
Posted September 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Oh and btw, did anyone else notice the woman with the huge hair holding “Talon”? She looks like a chubby Marcia Brady
8
Gilty Plezzur
Posted September 23, 2012 at 10:00 am
Thanks, Pat Ledoux! I’ve thought about being a recapper, but I’m not sure if I could stomach watching some of these shows on a regular basis. And, I fast-forward through much of the boring filler junk of the ones I actually do watch regularly. I have a lot of respect for recappers. They sacrifice a lot for our laughter.
Was that little Talon’s mother? You’d think if it was, they’d include her in the backstory of the struggling wife and mother supporting her husband’s dream through the years. She did look like an inflated Marcia Brady or that youngest kid on “Family Ties.” Tina Yothers? Daddy did have kind of a cool voice. What was his name, Jeffrey Gutt? GUTT? The kid’s name is Talon Gutt! And vultures use their TALONS to rip out the GUTTS of dead animals. Oh, brother. They could have used a little Latin flair and named him Colon Gutt.
9
Holyterror
Posted September 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm
I’m sitting here WEEPING after Jeffrey Gutt’s audition, and I really don’t do that kind of shit. Add the cute kid running out to him, and I’m a mess. He also just seems like a really decent person. I came to be snarky, but I really wish him well.
10
juddfan
Posted September 24, 2012 at 5:35 pm
OMG, Holyterror, I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one! I’ve got to give it up to the editors, coz they milked me like a cow in heat! The kid, the single parent, that song . . . that voice . . . oh gawd I bawled!!! I’m usually easy tho, but seriously . . . I can only take so much! His voice has so much amazing potential, can’t wait to hear more! I’m prayin’ for some good song choices, it will make all the difference. I”m afraid to watch it again here in the office, lest I go off again!
The country kid was good, but he really needs to rethink his tired look that has nothing to do with country. He might be cute under all that Bobby Browness . . .
The tattoo guy was hot, @sfspurri, but for whatever reason, people who sing “Trouble” for auditions, and do well, almost never live up to their potential . . . hope he proves me wrong tho.
11
XxinnocentexX
Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:14 pm
(previously sfspurri)
@juddfan, I didn’t think think Vino was hot (however, it helps that his name means “wine” in Portuguese), but he had a sultry voice I loved! I hope he proves you wrong as well though, because I might not like looking at him very much, but I could live with him waking me up in the morning. :p
I’m just a sucker for his personality, especially since the stigma is still there that if you’re heavily tattooed, you’re automatically judged by some as not a good person. But the dude is doing this for his son and sings for the troops. I just love when people like him prove idiots wrong.
12
XxinnocentexX
Posted September 25, 2012 at 9:16 pm
OH! And PBD, I’ve been meaning to compliment you on your quick recapping skills. LOVE IT!
13
KartofflMuter
Posted September 29, 2012 at 2:57 pm
I love Will Jones- I don’t like Simmons’s daughter. Saddly. Tara will have a melt down. So will the kid who had a hydration problem-13-end of show-carryover-totally staged. He had a good voice,30 extra pounds. Bring him back in 3 years-if the U.S still exists. Dinah-15? with 20 in her family? -Not a chance in hell. But -do get a psych eval and some orthodontal XXXXL work.
Translation- her bet is as good as her baby bro’s shot at the pissoir in 5-4-3-2-1.
I s anyone else getting tired of the desperate ,the ridiculous,the clownish, the delusional,those who had it but lost it and G-d really needed a bash in the head (the guy who sang a duet with Brittany and his life has taken a nose dive and you just know-you just KNOW-you will be reading his obit in the next 3 months and wondering why No ONE stepped up to drag him out of hell and save him????????)
And yes-I’m even talking to myself. But I had oral surgery for 3 FxxxxK weeks folks and all my “life partner” could say when I dared to come down in my floor length night gown (he had bought me ) was “you look horrible. My G-d you’re ugly.”
So -I have nothing to eat with after spending$12000 but,I will still reach out to him. Hell-it’s not like I’ll lose my husband. Anybody have his full name and address? Because I know,(personal experience)-this poor schlub will try to end his pain. I don’t know anyone to help me. I tried calling the Suicide Hotline. They are no help. Don’t believe the police. They are liars. I have been hung up on 3 times in a row. Did they know I would die? Or were they somehow omnipotent? My first attempt was when I was 9. Damn car swerved. Then I overdosed on aspirin. The doctor did exploratory surgery. I can’t tell you how many times-no one has given a damn. And you know what ? ASC ? When you finally steal my house out from under me? You will find me hanging from my beaautiful 20 foot ceilings. Why? Because I know you are waiting for the highest price from the highest Chinese bidder. And they are superstitous. Dead body-vengeful corpse-lower price. I will be very vengeful.
Shame on you for making money off our corpses.
Romney-I hope your dead,vomitting dog haunts you and shits in your mouth.
Probably as good as the wife’s cooking.
So-gimme the name. I have nothin’ and nobody left.
I even tried to make friends on this place-but hay-I guess-I’m too old? too stoopid?
And what the fuckin hell is a troll? I’m an old women who’s been picked on by pretty much everybody and
Has decided she’s not going to take it anymore-which makes me what?
One more moocher for Obama?
Have you got a problem with that?
I dared
Dared to support saris-
Yahoo-people- I just got and order in of 10 new ones -10 -priced from $1.25 to $9.59.
No-I’m not a seller. I just wanted to make Kanta quilts for my children.
Till I got the latest letter from my daughter’s kidnapper.
(This is the daughter who called 4 cop cars on us. Told her BF”s parents I never fed her (she was 20 lbs overweight) and gave her no blankets).
I wanted to make Kanta quilts for the kids. I’d already made crochet blankets, 19th C. quilts,coverlets,and was now making Indian Bengali Kantha Quilts. If you want the address.,just ask. If you want the daughter-pictures of my broken heart are available at hvgee@me.com
13 Comments
As much as I love the two girls from Rochester, MA (originally from New Bedford, my hometown, YAY!), I really am voting for Jeffrey and Vino (?? the guy with the tattoos on his face & head and performs for the troops). Other than their amazing talent, I have a thing for tattooed guys who are looking to use their talents to provide for their children.
Jeffrey was AMAZING!!!!! I can so see him winning the whole shebang.
What a cooze Krysten was, sorry Toots, you can’t sing to save your life. Thank for flipping out and making my night.
The thunder was way cool, no?
Also, with Krysten, I love how her mom told her “You promised you wouldn’t act like this.” Which leads me to believe that her getting big fat no’s was discussed, and that her mom knows what a crazy b her daughter is. That’s when you, as a mother, go: “Whee! We’re off to the X Factor! We’re just going to stop here at some singing lessons, right across the hall from an inpatient anger management rehab center you’re going to hang out in for a week! IT’S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN!!”
The Last pitchy bitch is just a Rihanna Big headed chubby copy cat, I bet she idolizes her. Anyway i Loved the Hallelujah guy!! Fav so far in the compettetion, my least is the born this way black transgender/gay male in a weeding dress to make the community look bad.
This is a real public service. I can just read this recap and I don’t have to endure the bloated version on TV.
Some thoughts:
My beloved, late dog used to leave deposits out in the yard that were very reminiscent of what Demi Lovato has on the top of her head in this episode.
A kid named Talon? Does he have siblings named Phalanges and Phalanx?
What has Simon done to his face? He’s looking quite waxen.
@Gilty P., thanks for the chuckles, you should be a recapper! I couldn’t figure out what the hell that thing was on Demi’s head, now I know
Oh and btw, did anyone else notice the woman with the huge hair holding “Talon”? She looks like a chubby Marcia Brady
Thanks, Pat Ledoux! I’ve thought about being a recapper, but I’m not sure if I could stomach watching some of these shows on a regular basis. And, I fast-forward through much of the boring filler junk of the ones I actually do watch regularly. I have a lot of respect for recappers. They sacrifice a lot for our laughter.
Was that little Talon’s mother? You’d think if it was, they’d include her in the backstory of the struggling wife and mother supporting her husband’s dream through the years. She did look like an inflated Marcia Brady or that youngest kid on “Family Ties.” Tina Yothers? Daddy did have kind of a cool voice. What was his name, Jeffrey Gutt? GUTT? The kid’s name is Talon Gutt! And vultures use their TALONS to rip out the GUTTS of dead animals. Oh, brother. They could have used a little Latin flair and named him Colon Gutt.
I’m sitting here WEEPING after Jeffrey Gutt’s audition, and I really don’t do that kind of shit. Add the cute kid running out to him, and I’m a mess. He also just seems like a really decent person. I came to be snarky, but I really wish him well.
OMG, Holyterror, I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one! I’ve got to give it up to the editors, coz they milked me like a cow in heat! The kid, the single parent, that song . . . that voice . . . oh gawd I bawled!!! I’m usually easy tho, but seriously . . . I can only take so much! His voice has so much amazing potential, can’t wait to hear more! I’m prayin’ for some good song choices, it will make all the difference. I”m afraid to watch it again here in the office, lest I go off again!
The country kid was good, but he really needs to rethink his tired look that has nothing to do with country. He might be cute under all that Bobby Browness . . .
The tattoo guy was hot, @sfspurri, but for whatever reason, people who sing “Trouble” for auditions, and do well, almost never live up to their potential . . . hope he proves me wrong tho.
(previously sfspurri)
@juddfan, I didn’t think think Vino was hot (however, it helps that his name means “wine” in Portuguese), but he had a sultry voice I loved! I hope he proves you wrong as well though, because I might not like looking at him very much, but I could live with him waking me up in the morning. :p
I’m just a sucker for his personality, especially since the stigma is still there that if you’re heavily tattooed, you’re automatically judged by some as not a good person. But the dude is doing this for his son and sings for the troops. I just love when people like him prove idiots wrong.
OH! And PBD, I’ve been meaning to compliment you on your quick recapping skills. LOVE IT!
I love Will Jones- I don’t like Simmons’s daughter. Saddly. Tara will have a melt down. So will the kid who had a hydration problem-13-end of show-carryover-totally staged. He had a good voice,30 extra pounds. Bring him back in 3 years-if the U.S still exists. Dinah-15? with 20 in her family? -Not a chance in hell. But -do get a psych eval and some orthodontal XXXXL work.
Translation- her bet is as good as her baby bro’s shot at the pissoir in 5-4-3-2-1.
I s anyone else getting tired of the desperate ,the ridiculous,the clownish, the delusional,those who had it but lost it and G-d really needed a bash in the head (the guy who sang a duet with Brittany and his life has taken a nose dive and you just know-you just KNOW-you will be reading his obit in the next 3 months and wondering why No ONE stepped up to drag him out of hell and save him????????)
And yes-I’m even talking to myself. But I had oral surgery for 3 FxxxxK weeks folks and all my “life partner” could say when I dared to come down in my floor length night gown (he had bought me ) was “you look horrible. My G-d you’re ugly.”
So -I have nothing to eat with after spending$12000 but,I will still reach out to him. Hell-it’s not like I’ll lose my husband. Anybody have his full name and address? Because I know,(personal experience)-this poor schlub will try to end his pain. I don’t know anyone to help me. I tried calling the Suicide Hotline. They are no help. Don’t believe the police. They are liars. I have been hung up on 3 times in a row. Did they know I would die? Or were they somehow omnipotent? My first attempt was when I was 9. Damn car swerved. Then I overdosed on aspirin. The doctor did exploratory surgery. I can’t tell you how many times-no one has given a damn. And you know what ? ASC ? When you finally steal my house out from under me? You will find me hanging from my beaautiful 20 foot ceilings. Why? Because I know you are waiting for the highest price from the highest Chinese bidder. And they are superstitous. Dead body-vengeful corpse-lower price. I will be very vengeful.
Shame on you for making money off our corpses.
Romney-I hope your dead,vomitting dog haunts you and shits in your mouth.
Probably as good as the wife’s cooking.
So-gimme the name. I have nothin’ and nobody left.
I even tried to make friends on this place-but hay-I guess-I’m too old? too stoopid?
And what the fuckin hell is a troll? I’m an old women who’s been picked on by pretty much everybody and
Has decided she’s not going to take it anymore-which makes me what?
One more moocher for Obama?
Have you got a problem with that?
I dared
Dared to support saris-
Yahoo-people- I just got and order in of 10 new ones -10 -priced from $1.25 to $9.59.
No-I’m not a seller. I just wanted to make Kanta quilts for my children.
Till I got the latest letter from my daughter’s kidnapper.
(This is the daughter who called 4 cop cars on us. Told her BF”s parents I never fed her (she was 20 lbs overweight) and gave her no blankets).
I wanted to make Kanta quilts for the kids. I’d already made crochet blankets, 19th C. quilts,coverlets,and was now making Indian Bengali Kantha Quilts. If you want the address.,just ask. If you want the daughter-pictures of my broken heart are available at hvgee@me.com