X Factor Season 2 Recap: It’s Britney Bitch (Round 1 Auditions)

X Factor

By PearlBlackDragon | Thursday, September 13, 2012 | 12:01 am | 10 Comments
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Posted in: Recaps, X Factor

Quatro Da’an- Born This Way by Lady Gaga

HOLY SHIT! It doesn’t suck. This man is my future housefiend. He, Simon, and I are going to live a happy life together. Even better the judges and the audience love him too.
Simon tells him, ” If you imagine Madonna, Bobby Brown, and Dracula had a child, it would be you. But in a weird way I quite liked you!”
LA Reid gives him a no but with the other three giving him YAY!’s we will get to see more of this lovely lady boy.
P.S – I love how Britney gives her critique with her mouth full. Keepin’ it klassy Brit!

We are introduced next to our first Boy Band.  Two brothers and their ex-enemy. They call themselves Emblem3.  In the holding room while they talk about their love of music and blah blah blah we also meet Vincent Thomas – Actor.

 

Apparently Mr. Thomas was famous in Europe in a boy band. He never mentions the band and when I google him not a damned thing pops up but a few promo shots from 2009. But seeing is I am super famous in Japan but you won’t be able to google me either, I believe him.  Vincent takes it upon himself to school the boys of Emblem3 on how to win over the crowd. After all, he was onstage in a famous boy band himself so he’s an expert. Emblem3 politely ignore him and he bids them adieu to go onstage for what is sure to be an amazing audition.
His time onstage is very short as he sings the most BLAND version of Elton John’s Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word, that I have ever heard. Simon asks him if he remembers the old boy bands that used to have like 5 guys. Vincent perks up and claims he does. Simon then tells him that he is that guy in the band who didn’t sing. SHOCKED SuperStar Vincent Thomas exits the stage past Emblem3 who are laughing at his fail.

Emblem3 announce that they will be singing an original song. FACKITY FAK! It’s the kiss of death.

Emblem3 – Sunset Boulevard by Emblem3

They need to tighten up BUT not bad at all. The judges blow a lot of smoke up their collective asses more than I personally think they deserve and they get four YAY!’s. I do hope, however, that they can sing cover songs as they would be an interesting group to watch.  Especially the dark haired LEGAL 18 year old. Rawr.

Next up is no stranger to our Brit Brit. His name is Don Philip and he did a duet with Ms. Spears on her debut album called, “I Will Still Love You.” Don wasn’t quite ready for the industry though and he quit for 10 years.  He finally decided that he was ready and that this might be his chance. And it probably had absolutely NOTHING to do with the previous relationship with Brit that he thought he could exploit.

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I live in the wonderful land of Canadia.

I am the warden of a teen and not teen.

In my spare time I like wine, TV, and wine.

Sometimes I like stuff but mostly I like things.

I am loud mouthed and am not afraid to show my true colours.  What you see is what you get.  Unless you add wine.  Then you get more.

In a perfect world I would rule it. And you would all bring me dirty rock stars.  It would be a good life for all even though I wouldn't reward you.  Your reward would be knowing I'm happy. Also, bring wine.  I would like that. Don't be sad. If stuff wasn't all about me it would be all about the Kardashians. Lesser of two evils. Well, more tolerable of two evils. OK well, I at least would encourage drinking. JEEZ QUIT BEING SO NEEDY AND GET OFF MY BACK. I would let you use my air. There. Happy? Now leave me alone.

10 Comments

  1. 1
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 12:48 am

    Ugh. Since I can’t stomach TWO bad singing contest shows in one season, I decided I’ll watch the first one to get its recap. So X-factor it is.

    I’m not bitter about it. I kind of like the Simon Cowell character, his queeniness was the best part of Idol after all. And the Voice is, let’s face it, irrelevant.

  2. 2
    ConfusedinCanada
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 7:07 am

    Let’s face it there are 3 bad singing contests, X-factor, American Idol and The Voice…all are on for reality tv appeal and not really to help the singers.

  3. 3
    Toad
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 7:14 am

    The editing reminded me of the Hills or something lol

    Otherwise I <3 Xfactor and the new judges.

    The rocker girl was my absolute favorite of the night.

    Great recap!!!

  4. 4
    Gerrit Verstoep
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Loved your recap. Look forward to spending the season with you.

    @ConfusedInCanada (and who isn’t?) You’re probably right about these shows not wanting to help the singers. And I suppose Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Leona Lewis, JLS, One Direction and Adam Lambert just popped out like an undetected pregnancy in a junior high school locker room -hmmmm.

  5. 5
    keebler elf
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

    i loved britney but i dont really like demi as a judge, sounded like she was judging a beauty pageant most of the night telling people they were beautiful, cute, or adorable

  6. 6
    See-Jay
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

    I’m not sure why The Voice gets slammed so much around here. It’s miles above Idol or The X-Factor in terms of talent and the judges have the best chemistry out of any panel. The format of the show leaves a lot to be desired but overall I enjoy it significantly more than any other singing competition on TV.

    I found the X-Factor premiere to be pretty offensive, overall. The glorification of the judges was to be expected, but the blatant scripted drama and the exploitation of tortured souls (Don Phillips) was simply nauseating. On top of that, even the “good” auditions weren’t anything to write home about. The last audition with the “bullied” girl (that word gets thrown around too often nowadays and it’s nearly lost all meaning) was ridiculously melodramatic and dragged out for far too long.

    Side note: Demi Lovato went to my town’s high school and the general consensus from students who knew her was that she had a bitchy, superiority-complex which was why nobody liked her. Being unpopular for having a terrible personality does not translate to “I was bullied.”

  7. 7
    itchy itchy
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:10 am

    I don’t like The Voice for a couple of reasons. The first being that it’s whole concept — that people are chosen based on their voice alone — is bullshit. That takes up an entire five minutes of the season. From there on in, it’s pretty much the same popularity contest as AI or X Factor.

    It’s also completely unrealistic to pretend that some 40-year-old schlub has a chance at any kind of professional career.

    Which leads me to the Voice’s penchant for stocking its fishpond with ringers — nearly all of the people they feature seem to be professional singers of one form or another. I understand why they do this — the more seasoned types handles the pressure better and put on a better show. But it completely eliminates the whole fantasy of some unknown being picked out of nowhere to achieve fame and fortune.

    Which is really the only reason to watch these shows, isn’t it?

    But perhaps the worst part of the Voice are the judges — their schtick was cute the first season. It got tiring really really quickly the second season. The only real interest the second season was wondering if and when Xtina’s chest would finally explode.

  8. 8
    juddfan
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    I was so curious about Brit, I had to tune in. This show made me ill last time around, not sure it will be better this time, but I did find Ms. Spears refreshing with her leathery looking skin. Even Simon was in awe . . . Demi had one good line, “everyone is going to love your new look” to Simon in a really ill-fitting white tee.

    I wish someone told the first girl, Mary J is not your jam . . . her voice is much more suited to pop with less range, but I found her adorable, and I liked the stockings. Her daughter was so funny how she looked on in awe, can’t imagine the impression it made on a three year old.

    LA is still a pig, sorry, but he is . . . there’s something really sleezy about him and this show.

    I was glad the grrrls were there to push through the drag queen bride, it was funny, and you can tell their youngness makes them more hip to something like that. LA and Simon would have never put him through otherwise.

    I’ll give it a chance tho, I can’t with the voice . . . just have no interest . . . I’m curious to see which judge will get which group, the ones with Demi wont have a chance, sorry kid, but you’re just too young. They’ll probably give her the over 30′s . . . sigh . . .

    How odd that there hasn’t been a whisper about the 5 million dollar winner Leona clone from last year–I heard she was in pop star school, whatever (cough)diet(cough) that is . . .

    look forward to more caps, PBD!

  9. 9
    PearlBlackDragon PearlBlackDragon
    Posted September 13, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    Thanks All! Glad to have you all stuck in the cabin watching this with me. Don’t worry. If this plane/show starts going crashing and burning I will save myself. But I promise to write really nice eulogies for all of you. I might even write stuff I mean.
    Here’s to hoping for a great season!

  10. 10
    JELLIEPAIR
    Posted September 25, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Im surprised there isnt more talk about what a train wreck britney is – she looks at least 40, her hair looked terrible, her eyes look crazy, she was eating m-&-m’s during the show while she was talking and made faces throughout the entire show. i am not complaining though – so much better than nicole and paula although paula was always amusing. That whole scene with her former duet partner was painful for everyone. He looks like he might be wearing a britney mask and skin in some basement

    I wonder if Simon will get the girls again this year as Britney would be the logical choice. Let simon have the groups…he seems to have the touch with them. What Demi Lovato can teach is anyones guess. Perhaps eyebrow drawing 101. LA Reid is creepy and reminds me of the butler on different strokes…- and if we get another astro this year I wont be surprised as LA thinks thats what america is looking for.

    Why do they bother allowing over 30′s anyway – its not like they will give them the prize. And

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