Radar has some good American Idol gossip this week. Nads has already told you about it, but it just keeps nagging at me so let's discuss after the jumpety.
First we heard that oh hell no Paula's not leaving the show! Those were just nasty rumors spread by jealous people. Sure, she "only" gets a couple mil a year to butcher English and spiritually molest young people on national TV. She's not in it for the money or all that free coke Coke! She's in it for the LOVE!
That was before she heard that the most enchanting cartoon host of all time, Tinkerbell Seacrest, got a forty five million dollar deal for three more years. It matters less and less every season that before puberty, a personal trainer, a tanning bed, a fake romance with Terri Hatcher and several trips to the dentist/orthodontist/fake teeth maker, Tink looked like this:
Point is, Paula's pissed. Her manager's running around town talking about how sad it is that she's not coming back. According to onlookers, he's dropping tiny drops of fear poop wherever he goes as he repeats this, like a cornered rabbit. How many other people could Paula Abdul's manager possibly have in his stables?
Come on, people, she only wants a hug some acknowledgement respect twenty million dollars. You know why I love Paula? CUZ THAT BITCH IS OFF HER ROCKER. Tink? WORKS. Paula? DRINKS. And gets accused of doing contestants. And lets cameras follow her to catch her fucked-upedly writhing around on the floor of a lab with perfume samples babbling like an idiot (I'm sorry but I still can't let Hey, Paula! go). They had every reason to can her ass a couple seasons ago, but they not only let her stay, they let her promote her affront to musicianship on the show (I forget the name of her album, and I refuse to remember it). TWICE. That's gotta mean some iTunes sales. How did she repay that generosity? By showing up this season soberish and not entertaining at all. Girl, shut up and open a savings account. This train should have stopped a couple of stations ago, and you're lucky it's still rolling. Don't tie yourself to the tracks, cuz no one's coming to save you.
Molesting contestants is forgivable. Quitting pills? Isn't. Get it together and lose your shit again, Paula. Until then, you can take your two mil a year or shove it. Skara D is mad too. Not about Paula not getting paid enough, though. She's pissed cuz they cut her crap inspirational bs song from the Idol tour! LOL!
Comments (3)
I don't know flipit, we might just have to face the fact that 2 mil s year doesn't buy as much crazy as it used to. Then again, if Paula makes QVC her full time gig it will open up a chair for Whitney. Simon would earn every nickel of that fat raise sitting next to her, and when Bobby starts showing up, reality TV gold. Sorry I need to go update my Christmas wish list
1 of 3 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on July 21, 2009 9:37 PM
WHITNEY?!?!?!?!? is that a real rumor or are you just hoping? that would be AMAZING. you should be a producer.
2 of 3 | Posted by flipit | Posted on July 21, 2009 11:12 PM
Hey, no it's just wishful thinking on my part, mainly because I think Miz Whitney would make any reality show better. Take the Amazing Race, with Whitney experience in fleeing customs, I mean running through airports, she'd be a shoo-in.
I think they'll either bring Paula back and start spiking her coke, or they'll just use that extra time to let America's two favorite straight dudes, Simon and Tink eye-hump the poop out of each other.
3 of 3 | Posted by waffleboy09 | Posted on July 22, 2009 11:48 AM