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The "families" are headed to some bistro in Boise - wonder if Demi and Ashton own that too? How do you think the kids are going to do? Luke freaks out on Sasha and Jordan. Damn, seriously, what is up with that kid? Why does he cry so much? "HEY," Sasha says. They show a lady shaking her head at them - was that me? They do the right thing and leave the restaurant. I repeat: leave the restaurant if your kid does this!
We've traced the crying...it's coming from...
INSIDE THE RESTAURANT!
Outside, Sasha freaks out all over this kid telling him he's acting like a baby. No shit, Nancy Drew, you know why? HE IS A BABY! Check the tags, the kids is two years old. "That's not cute." Neither is the sight of you dissin' a little kid. No wait, it's hilarious. I stand corrected. "I'm ready to give this baby back to his momma, and fly me back home." Maybe instead of direct flight, you can make a connection with grammar on the way there, Sasha.
Back at home, Luke continues to freak out. Why didn't they make a quick pit stop for some Benadryl? Or Sasha could have said she needed some lady items at the store, could the crew wait outside while she purchased them, she could have hooked herself up with some Tylenol PM and BOOM! Kid out like a light! (Please note the overmedication recommendations for babies are by this recapper and do not reflect the views of the staff of - oh, wait, if they are single people, they do!). Sasha finally throws in the towel. "I don't care anymore!" Slam of the door! You know, I can't remember the last time I slammed my bedroom door. That used to be so much fun. Me loves me some drama.
Luke's mother says their frustration level is just adding to a bad situation. Sasha says the reason she's so frustrated is because she's taken care of kids before and so this shouldn't be new, but in this case she just doesn't know what to do. SASHA! Medicate! Quickly!
Into the home stretch, and Kelsey is trying to get Benjamin to poop...in the toilet, this time. After he "thinks real hard," he finally goes in his little potty. "My self-esteem was definitely boosted," she says. Oh, Kelsey, if your self-esteem is boosted by poop in a plastic pot, your issues are bigger than we anticipated. Then she begins to sing a song, "He gets the pee-pee candy, he gets the pee-pee candy," and I'm thinking that maybe I'll be skipping their house at Halloween this year. She drops the candy on the floor but he still eats it. One, because of the 5-second rule and two, because it's already pee-pee candy, a little dirt isn't going to make it any worse.
Morgan says, "Lily I'll miss you." Oh yeah, they did have two kids, didn't they? I forgot about the non-peeing on the furniture kid. No fun. Montage of all the parents playing with the kids, except for Sasha and Jordan. The real parents show up to claim their crying, pooping shackles, and tell them what they think.
Asshat and Kelly need to work on their communication, and he needs to stop hanging up pictures of Jesse Helms and voting for George Wallace pre-wheelchair. Etta's parents are proud of Sean and Kelsey, but admit they were often "laughing at them." Get in line. Also? They are a good looking couple. Etta and Benjamin's mom should probably not worry about the "potential" she lost as a young mother, because she gets to see her husband naked whenever she wants, and I'm guessing his potential is amazing. Anyhoodle....
Etta & Benjamin's parents...yowza!
Daton and Morgan admit they are morons and thought having kids would be easy. It's the bleach in the hair that must be leeching into their systems. They'll be good worker bees, someday, which is good because I'll need their social security withholdings once the baby boomers suck up mine. I was totally pissed, however, that there wasn't some kind of smackdown about grabbing the kid by his hair and dragging him by the arm, or not wiping the poo off his bum before putting on the new diaper. I would have been up in their faces like a Biore strip.
Way to get back in the game, lazy-ass!