Nads Declares Cyber War...
There is this dude from Metromix (L.A.) that I always run into at red carpets (the last one we saw him at was the MTV Movie Awards)...he's a really nice guy, but he always tries to "out-loud" me...and although I know that's nothing to get upset about, I've taken matters into my own hands, and I've decided that nobody "out-louds" Nads...so I'm trying to find him a date to occupy his time...just making sure he doesn't try to outshine me ever again. I know, it's obnoxious, but I have too much time on my hands. Maybe I need a date? Nah...
Here's my declaration for cyber war:

