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Newsgasm: Suffer the Little Children Edition

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  • Infant jaded-fabulosity icon Zahara Jolie apparently has come down with a mystery illness, screaming and refusing to sleep. Hell, if I were trapped in the Namib Desert with two mohawked dumbasses and a pregnant alien I'd EAT BROKEN GLASS if it got me outta there. [The Sun]

  • ABC has tipped Charlie Gibson to be the new face of World News Tonight, replacing interim anchor Elizabeth Vargas. In related news, authorities have finally tranquilized a shrieking, foaming-at-the-mouth Diane Sawyer after a late-night window-smashing rampage over on West 66th. [ABC]

  • Oh, that naughty Madonna! During one portion of her tour opener in LA this week, she donned a crown of thorns and dangled herself from a giant mirrored crucifix. I didn't realize she meant "Hung Up" LITERALLY. [Daily Mail]

  • Sadly, Nicole Richie and her fiancĂ© have called it quits. Happily, her father should have no trouble finding her a replacement suitor in the Arab world. [AP]

  • A PETA poll has named Prince the "world's sexiest vegetarian." I'd start a poll to determine the "world's dumbest poll," but I think that question's already been answered. [AP]

  • And at this point I'm out of Michelle Rodriguez imprisonment jokes, so if you'd like to have a write-in contest next time, I'm sure it can be arranged. [People]

Posted in Industry by m_ruv at 4:08 AM | | Comments (7)
Last Comment: Ubiquitous on May 26, 2006 07:20 AM.

Comments (7)

Leah3t:

oh sad! i hope that is not true. that is the cutest little baby.

1 of 7 | Posted by Leah3t | Posted on May 24, 2006 7:35 AM

zoobabe:

She is a cutie.

2 of 7 | Posted by zoobabe | Posted on May 24, 2006 7:55 AM

HoneyBunny:

You would think even Madonna would be sick of Madonna by now.

hb

3 of 7 | Posted by HoneyBunny | Posted on May 24, 2006 11:18 AM

gamera87:

Madonna is the greatest entertainer of the last 25 years. No one who has seen one of her shows would disagree.

4 of 7 | Posted by gamera87 | Posted on May 24, 2006 11:40 AM

tvtvtv:

I'm pretty sure Nicole and "DJ AM" have devised an evil plot to continually make up and break up in order to ensure her regular appearance in People, US, and Overpaid Celebrities Picking Their Toenails Weekly.

5 of 7 | Posted by tvtvtv | Posted on May 24, 2006 1:33 PM

Donna Martin Graduates!:

^ damn -- that Nicole is one seriously sick chick.

Poor girl needs help (as do all peeps suffering from anorexia and/or low self esteem).

:shudder:

6 of 7 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on May 24, 2006 2:51 PM

Ubiquitous:

I think they said it best on Family Guy when they called Madonna a "stupid whore".

7 of 7 | Posted by Ubiquitous | Posted on May 26, 2006 7:20 AM

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