Well another week has rolled around, and that means it's time to take a look at another crap movie near and dear to my heart [Release the doves], and I've got to tell you I'm pretty excited about this one. Not only do we have all the things that make for a quality crap experience, explosions, senseless violence, peppy yet moronic catch phrases, and boobs, boobs, boobs, but all of this fudge brownie awesome comes courtesy of a story written by one of the all time great science fiction authors, Phillip K Dick.

I'm about to fly my nerd flag, so apologies in advance, but Phillip K Dick is one of the smartest, most intelligent writers of speculative fiction the world has ever seen. So, I guess it came as no real surprise to anyone that in 1990 when they made today's movie, Total Recall, Hollywood called on the one actor in Hollywood who was cerebral enough to deal with a story about the fickle nature of reality, Arnold Schwarzenegger...oooohhhhh boy, this just got real awkward, didn't it? Well no matter, because we still have violence, explosions, catch phrases and boobs, boobs, boobs, so make the jump and see what the inside of Arnold's mind looks like.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: TRASHBACK: MESSING WITH ARNOLD'S MIND" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 6:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: PottyMouth on Jul 1, 2009 07:54 PM.

Hey gasmi, you know it's often said that the sign of great cinema is that it makes you think. It forces you to examine the world in a way you hadn't before, and if you ask me maybe great cinema needs to get all out of my grill and keep its irrational need for "thinking" to itself. I don't really like to think on my day off, hell I'm not fond of doing it at work when I'm getting paid. No, on a lazy Saturday, I need a movie who accepts me for who I am, and you know what? Crap movies do just that, and today's movie, the 2001 release, The Fast and The Furious, is like your mom making you a nice big pot of chicken soup after you boned an algebra midterm in high school. It's nothing but love baby. Just see for yourself after the jump.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trashback: A Furious Case of the Runs" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 2:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: gossipygirl on Jun 30, 2009 04:50 PM.

In my opinion Sylvester Stallone has made a few good movies over the years. However, the movie we are going to talk about today, Rambo: First Blood Part II ain't one of them. This movie is what happened when Hollywood looked at history of the Vietnam War and thought to itself, "man that ending needs a re-write." That being said, it's a great way to kill 96 minutes, just make the jump and see for yourself.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trashback: A Mind Is A Terrible Thing" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 1:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: waffleboy09 on Jun 20, 2009 10:25 PM.

It's this waffle boy's humble opinion that smart is way, WAY overrated. Mortgaged backed securities, land wars in Asia, and the Hindenburg were all the products of some of the smartest people walking the face of the Earth having what at the time what were thought to be brilliant ideas, and what did we get for all of this concentrated smartness? Okay with the Hindenburg we got a flaming zeppelin, and the basis of the best Thanksgiving episode ever on TV (the Turkey giveaway on WKRP), so that doesn't really help my argument. You know what? Forget about the Hindenburg, that's a bad example, but generally speaking really smart ideas are the ones that have the highest potential for disaster. So that's why I say, give me a dumb idea every time.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trashback: Dumb Is Fun" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: waffleboy09 on Jun 8, 2009 08:23 PM.

Well it's another week and time for another crap movie. Now while at first glance you might think a crap movie has to be a bad movie, this just really isn't the case. Crap movies, at least in my book, aren't crap movies because they are bad. They're crap movies because through some wonderful magic, their inherent dumbness suddenly becomes comedy of the highest order (oh and there are explosions, beheadings, and the occasional gratuitous boob shot, those help too). So even though you might think you need bad acting, shitty directing, and a shooting script written in crayon to make a crap movie, think again. Take today's movie, the winner of the Academy Award for Best Picture in 2000, Gladiator.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trashback: Award Winning Crap" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: dearcrabby on Jun 11, 2009 10:01 AM.

Hi guys, good to be back, and thanks to everyone at Moviegasm for allowing me to spend time talking about the kind of quality crap movies I always end up watching on the weekend instead of cleaning my apartment.

I know it sounds strange now, but before the Oscar nomination, before he was the proud owner of the largest collection of fat suits in North America (narrowly edging out Tyra Banks), even before he began running his late night shuttle service for transvestite hookers, Eddie Murphy was cool. What can I say? It didn't take much to entertain people in the 1980's (Hence the Joe Piscepo craze). So come back with me to a simpler time, when all you needed for 96 minutes of quality crap entertainment was a guy whose catch phrase was "I'm Buckwheat," several loony tuned eyed bad guys, a guy who you can literally smell the scotch working its way through his pores, and a truck load of racial epitaphs. Yep, today our movie is the 1982 release, 48 Hrs.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trashback: A Two Day Dump" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Last Comment:

***Please welcome our newest Moviegasm contributor, WaffleBoy!

One of my friends recently sent me a disturbing photo, because well that's what the internet was invented for. It was a photo of the highest elected official in my state on vacation in a little black bathing suit that brought on a 14 minute bout of hysterical blindness.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trashback: Neon Awesome" »

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 1:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: waffleboy09 on May 21, 2009 04:36 PM.

Let's take out some more Trailer Trash after the jump!

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trailer Trash: Where the Wild Things Are" »

Posted in Moviegasm by 4theluvofHam at 4:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: itchy on Mar 28, 2009 01:29 AM.

Spring is here! Let's check out some upcoming releases.

April is gonna be one sexy month.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trailer Trash: 17 Again, Crank 2, and State of Play" »

Posted in Moviegasm by 4theluvofHam at 3:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: sutterkane on Apr 13, 2009 07:38 PM.

All right Watchmen fans. First off, relax!! I know absolutely nothing about Watchmen. Nothing. The only reason I even know it was based on a graphic novel is from the trailer. I even have to keep looking up to see if it’s Watchmen or Watchman; and I still always write "The" in front of it by accident. Therefore, I can absolutely guarantee that this review will only contain TRAILER SPOILERS. If anything is revealed about the movie itself it is a fluke and a coincidence and you may not bitch about it in the comments area. I knew not being a comic book nerd is high school would someday help me out. Finally!

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Trailer Trash: Watchmen" »

Posted in Moviegasm by 4theluvofHam at 8:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: Donna Martin Graduates! on Mar 6, 2009 11:32 AM.

***Please welcome our newest writer, 4theluvofHam, with reviews of some coming attractions!

by 4theluvofHam

Reviewing movies takes a lot of work. Seeing movies takes even more work! All I need to know about a movie is in the trailer. And all you need to know about that trailer is right here.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Moviegasm: Trailer Trash" »

Posted in Moviegasm by Flipit at 11:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: Mr Dangerous on Feb 20, 2009 05:34 PM.

And now some more Moviegasm with The Ironist!
by TheIronist

After watching Slumdog Millionaire, I can say with absolute certainty that I am glad I do not live in a country like India. I am glad I do not live in a country where the police force is overweight and corrupt, a country where individuals are persecuted for being different, a country in which the quality of life of it's inhabitants is so polarized. A country in which millions of individuals are so impoverished that they have no other option but to live in the slums. I am glad that none of these issues plague the good ol'e U S of A. And if you say otherwise, I'll punch you square in the mouth. On that note I would go so far as to say that with the exception of Omaha, Nebraska and parts of Wyoming, that the United States is one of the greatest countries in North America, or at least somewhere in the top five.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Moviegasm: Slumdog Millionaire" »

Posted in Moviegasm by Flipit at 1:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Last Comment:

***Please welcome our newest Moviegasm (I know, it's been awhile, eh?) contributor, The Ironist!

Get off my lawn!

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Moviegasm: Gran Torino" »

Posted in Moviegasm by Flipit at 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: Donna Martin Graduates! on Jan 27, 2009 02:11 PM.

Let me start by saying I love the Indiana Jones movies. Bought 'em on DVD the day they were released and I've watched them repeatedly. So I went in to the theatre with only one prayer to the movie gods: Please don't let this movie suck. Don't let Lucas and Spielberg redact Indiana Jones and ruin the memory of the original trilogy the way Lucas Jar-Jar-ed the Star Wars saga to death with his poorly directed, poorly acted, poorly conceived prequels.

The good news? In no way does this film make a mockery of the previous movies the way the Star Wars prequels did. I suspect that Spielberg probably had Lucas's vitamins replaced with prozac during filming to keep George from replacing Shia LaBeouf with an entirely CGI robot sidekick.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: Moviegasm: Wise Cracks and Whip Snaps" »

Posted in Moviegasm by GreyBishop at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Last Comment: onlyangelic on Jun 3, 2008 06:56 AM.

Comic book adaptations are notoriously difficult to achieve with exceptional results. The two outstanding contributions to the cinematic world of superhero films are Sam Raimi's Spiderman series and Guillermo Del Toro's Hellboy. Chris Nolan's Batman Begins is serviceable (granted, to many it is an exceptional film), and Bryan Singer's X-Men flicks work on at least a mechanical level. What is noteworthy, however, is that the artistic success of these films is directly related to the inherent artistry of its director, in general. Iron Man director Jon Favreau, is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a cinema artist, and the picture suffers because of this.

Continue reading "Moviegasm: SEEING RED: Iron Man & Redbelt" »

Posted in Moviegasm by Damien Belliveau at 4:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Last Comment: bigporch on May 19, 2008 11:09 AM.