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We go back to the present day and Christopher Lambert goes over to PFSBW's place for a little dinner. She's still getting ready, so he looks around her apartment and finds her police service revolver, and the tape recorder she is going to use to record their conversation over noodle kugel. When the PFSBW comes out, Christopher Lambert has brought her a gift. It's a copy of a book she wrote and on the back cover it mentions she's a cop. Bust-ED. She apologizes for not being 100% honest, but she wants to know what Christopher Lambert knows about an ancient samurai sword someone used to kill Pervy Spy Guy. The conversation kind of peters out there and they never get to dig into that noodle kugel.

The next day Christopher Lambert is hanging out with a black guy in Central Park who's wearing a bath robe, and getting zero looks from everyone around him. It turns out Bathrobe guy is another Immortal who's in town for The Gathering and thinks they should have a big party before they whack each other's heads off. Christopher Lambert reminds him the last time they had a party he got stabbed about 64 times and we get treated to a pretty funny flashback.

Meanwhile PFBSW is doing some investigating type stuff. She meets with this guy who's gone over the building records on Christopher Lambert's building and it turns out everyone who's owned the building since the 1790's has the same exact handwriting as Christopher Lambert. PFBSW is really troubled by this news, or she has cramps, for the life of me I can't tell one way or the other.

Later that night this survivalist yahoo is driving around New York looking for some crime to get all vigilante on, when he finds Bathrobe Guy and The Kurgan fighting in a back ally. After The Kurgan cut's off Bathrobe Guy's head off the survivalist yahoo shoots him about a jillion times with an Uzi. Too bad he didn't shoot The Kurgan in the head, so we aren't too surprised when he pops back up like a jack in the box and runs his sword through the Survivalist Yahoo. Luckily for the Survivalist Yahoo a crowd of hookers, drug dealers, and for some reason an elderly couple in a Cadillac have gathered, so The Kurgan decides to call it a night. Well first he steals the old couple's car and the last we see of the old lady she's riding on the hood of the car like that chick at the end of Death Proof.

PFSBW catches up with Christopher Lambert and tells him she knows he's like super-duper old and wants to know just what the hell is going on, so he tells her the truth. His real name is Connor MacLeod, he was born in Scotland in 1516, and he and a bunch of his other immortal buddies are in town to cut each others' noggins off because there can be only one.

PFBSW handles this news the way any rational person would. She strips down to her birthday suit so she and Chrissie can start making the sweet, sweet love. Okay she handles the news the way anyone who was in an R rated action movie that had a love song from Queen would handle this news.

The next day she and Chrissie go to the zoo. Huh, what who? Yeah apparently Immortals aren't big on the whole concept of breakfast so a trip to IHOP is totally out of the question. The one good thing about this trip is it gives The Kurgan a chance to see the couple together which gives him an idea.

Christopher Lambert goes to church to light a candle because Heather made him promise to do that and think of her every year on her birthday. I would have held out for diction lessons, but that's just me.

The Kurgan shows up because let's face it, if you're a giant douche no place gives you the chance to show it off like a church. The Kurgan sits down and in the course of letting CL know just what a complete loser The Kurgan thinks he is, it slips out that he raped Heather all those years ago. Oh no he di'int! Oh yes he dint! Oh it is so on now.

Before it was just about getting shot with lightening and winning fabulous prizes, but now Chrissie is ready to throw down hard. Too bad they're in a church and can't fight on Holy Ground. They'll just have to wait until later, ideally at night so those sparks on their swords will look super bad ass.

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Last Comment: waffleboy09 on Jun 8, 2009 08:23 PM.