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Arnie heads off for work, and we get to see this movie's vision of the future. Arnold lives in a big shopping mall, the cars are all little golf carts, and everyone is dressed like it's 1986 only with crappier fabrics and worse sewing. In other words, the movie's director, Paul Verhoeven, is telling us all of the contestants from Project Runway are going to take over the world. Show of hands, who needs a hug?

While ridding the subway to work Arnie sees an ad for a company called Rekall. They say they can give all the memories you could get going on vacation, without actually going on vacation. One of the places they mention they can give you memories for is a trip to Mars. Arnold seems pretty intrigued by this news, or there is a shiny object off camera. It's a 50/50 shot.

Arnold gets to his job, and now we get to see what sort of high tech job someone like Arnold will have in the future. Arnie's running a jackhammer. Well I guess the future is going to need ditch diggers too.

Arnie's working next to his best friend, a heavy set guy who kind of looks like a balding Fred Flintstone. Arnie asks BFF if he's ever heard of Rekall, and BFF says it's bad news, because he knows a guy who went there and ended up having to get a lobotomy. He tells Arnie to stay away, because you don't want to be messing with your mind. Pretty sound advice from a guy who looks like he's got enough back hair to have people think he's wearing a mohair sweater every time he goes to the beach.

So right after work Arnie heads down to Rekall. Huh, what, who? Come on don't be that surprised, do you really think a little thing like a possible lobotomy is going to slow down the highest elected official in my home state? Whoo Hoo, California in the house! Suck it Delaware! Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh crap the movie, thank you, you're a lifesaver.

Arnie not only signs up to get memories of a trip to Mars, but something called an ego trip, where he won't just be Douglas Quaid, professional hole digger, but a badass super secret agent who saves the world, or in this case, Mars. Okay, this should be simple; Arnie gets his fake memories and is able to get on with the rest of his life which will involve drilling big honking holes with BFF and having tons of hot monkey sex with Sharon Stone. Sounds like a plan, right?

Wellllll, not exactly. It turns out the Rekall people find out somebody's already been screwing around with Arnie's mind and wiped out a whole bunch of the big galoot's memories. It gets worse, because Arnie's pretty agitated right now. Arnie is saying his name isn't Douglas Quaid, and bad guys are on their way to kill him. It takes a pretty big effort, but the docs are able to pump Arnold full of lala juice and get him to pass out. They decide to re-wipe Arnie's mind and just pretend he was never there. Fun movie fact, this was pretty much the same exact thing the director, Paul Verhoeven did after he made Showgirls.

Arnie wakes up later in an automated cab over by where he lives, with no idea what happened. He just wants to go home, have a nice cup of hot tea, some sex with Sharon Stone and call it a night. The only thing is he runs in BFF who says they should go get a drink. Arnie's pretty tired, what with getting his brain re-washed, so he takes a pass. Four other guys snatch Arnie up, BFF pulls a gun, and they hustle Arnie away. All I can say about this is golly, because BFF didn't look this needy at work.

BFF and his goons pull Arnie into an alleyway, while BFF keeps chattering about how Arnie screwed up by going to Rekall, and how BFF was there to look out for him and now he's going to have to kill him. Boo hoo, hoo, me, me, me, god if there is anything worse then getting killed by your bald Fred Flintstone friend; it's listening to your bald Fred Flintstone friend whine about how it's all your fault.

Posted in Moviegasm by WaffleBoy at 6:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Last Comment: waffleboy09 on Jul 4, 2009 06:11 AM.