I try to stay away from Paris, but then I got sent this 944 cover and her quotes, and I was like, "Come on Paris!" And here she is being a philanthropist:

"It makes me angry because people don't know the real me," she says. "Yes, I do get paid to go to parties. But when you see me at a party, I'm always working or promoting something. I work with so many organizations, especially Childrens Hospital in Los Angeles and the Make-A-Wish Foundation."

And, I'm sure that the Childrens Hospital and Make-A-Wish Foundation have plastered your awesome quotes promoting them on their walls next to your half-nude magazine cover. Those poor kids. If they weren't sick before...