16 & Preggers: Look, I’m on TV!

Recaps

By McWeanis | Friday, June 17, 2011 | 12:01 pm | 30 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: 16 and Pregnant, Featured, Recaps

This week, my life was shitty, especially when I got my purse stolen AGAIN because I am idiot, and when So You Think You Can Dance didn’t kick of Jess and Jordan. Also, the star of this episode got pregnant at FOURTEEN and reminds me of my little sister, which just adds to thing.

Apparently, the ages of this teen mom and her boyfriend – 14 and 15 at conception, respectively – are actually pretty rare. Most teen moms become pregnant at age 18 or 19, and their baby daddies are considerably older. It gives me some comfort that this case is rare, because boy is it awful.

Taylor is, as I said, a 14-now-15 year old from Cincinnati, Ohio with disgusting grammar and an even more disgusting boyfriend, Nathan. They met roller skating, which leads to this hilarious shot of pregnancy and violence and childhood all rolled into one.


Picture 34(2)

Did I say hilarious? I meant TRAUMATIC.

Both Taylor and her boyfriend Nathan were abandoned by their fathers in childhood; they’re raised by single moms just a few blocks apart. Taylor’s mom was also a teen mom, but not of Taylor: she became pregnant at 17 and gave her child up for adoption. I wonder if Taylor has always known this, or it was just shared because of her pregnancy? Anyway, grandma really wants Taylor to take the same path and give up the child for adoption. Nathan and Taylor are both too young to get jobs, can’t drive, and have a long way to go in high school, so it’s going to be EVEN HARDER than normal. Ahhh. As she wisely points out, they feel happy now, but they’re going to grow up and change and feel resentment about the situation. “You’re just so young. You don’t realize.” They also don’t realize – but grandma does – that grandma is going to end up doing a ton of work. In addition to single-momming her own two daughters, she will have to at least help financially support her grandkid.

Picture 35(2)

It’s my hot body I do what I want!

Also on the pro-adoption side is Taylor’s older sister, who has several children of her own. When Taylor protests that her sister and mom don’t trust her to be a good parent, Taylor’s sis responds, “I don’t think you’re going to do a bad job. I think it’s going to take a lot of your own happiness away.” How did she get knocked up with such wise and practical female role models? More on that later. Both sis and grandma constantly refer to the unborn baby as “it” rather than he or she, even though they know it’s a girl to be named Aubri.

Unfortunately, both Taylor and Nathan are pretty fixated on the whole dad-abandonment thing, much like our anti-adoption teen dad last week. Also like last week’s dad, Nathan seems like a lazy asshole! Since they equate adoption with abandonment (something I’m sure the commenters will have a field day with), the pair decide to raise the baby themselves. “I couldn’t stand my kid calling someone else daddy,” says Nathan. Okay, but are you going to be around for them to call YOU daddy? I’m guessing no. Nevertheless, the two tweens delusionally think they’re ready to have a baby. “Things with me and Nathan have been really good, and I’ll think we’ll make it together as parents,” says Taylor, which makes me want to throw up all over myself with its idiocy/sad optimism.

Picture 40

sad horns (sad fallopian tubes?)

Just to reinforce the fact that they are too young to do anything else,  big belly Taylor and fattie Nathan (he gains three pounds for every one she gains) hit the roller skating rink, which I can’t imagine is safe. Taylor also says “I feel like a little kid,” which I don’t think she meant ironically, despite the fact that she is, in fact, a little kid.

Picture 37

She looks like my sister Lazy but trashy(er) AHHHHHH

Can I just take a moment and say WHAT THE FUCK? I would be pretty much universally recognized as a huge slut, and even I waited until 16 to have sex and did it with someone I’d been with a long time. I don’t think I’d seen a penis at 14. I was still trying to figure out which household objects were the best masturbatory materials and I thought sperm could travel through the air and impregnate me. When I finally did have sex, I used the pill, spermicide and a condom, and STILL had a pregnancy scare when my period was two whole days late. HOW CAN THESE LITTLE TWEENS BE SO STUPID? At the beginning of the episode, I almost wanted things to go badly for Taylor just to prove what an idiot she’s being. Then when things did go badly, I just felt BAD. So bad. Like her mom says later on, ‘kids shouldn’t be having kids.’ Amen.

Picture 44(2)

My lack of teenage pregnancy could also possibly be attributed to my appearance, which was a rough hybrid of the above.

As the due date gets closer and closer, Taylor starts to save up money by babysitting her sister’s kids. By August, Nathan still hasn’t applied for a single job,  and Taylor is starting to get pissed. She has this eyeopening exchange with her mom:
“He’s annoying me.” “Why?” “Because he’s annoying.” Oh, now I get it.

Things come to a head when Taylor, Nathan and grandma head out to get some baby basics. Taylor repeatedly admonishes him about not getting a job over the summer. She only has 25 bucks, so her mom has to pay for everything else and is NOT happy about it. Nathan whines that everyone tells him to get a job and he’s sick of it. Then get a job, loser! God! I was a hotel maid the summer before I went to college. It was forty hours a week picking pubes out of a bathtub and used condoms out of the sheets, but it was money. As they leave the store, Taylor laments about how fifty dollars is a huge amount of money, which makes me (even more)  horrified for her future.

6 weeks before the baby is due, Nathan FINALLY starts applying for jobs. But there’s another problem. Both grandmas work full time, and the parents can’t afford child care, and both are still in high school. That means someone will have to dropout or do online high school. Taylor doesn’t want to do it, but because Nathan’s an asshole and refuses, she agrees. Good, in addition to giving up her body,  sleep, all her free time, friendships, freedom, and possibly her future, she can now give up high school and all social contact too! Dear schools, this is why free day care is important! I don’t WANT your students to have babies, but if they do, I also don’t want them to drop out!

Picture 45

“Actually… I was thinking you could make all the sacrifices and I could just hang out?”

In a last hurrah before the birth, Taylor and friends go out trick or treating, in actual, non-slutty Halloween costumes. She’s a bunny.  Oh gooodddd they’re babiesss!

A few days later, the due date comes and goes. After five days have passed, it’s time to induce. Does anybody have a non-induced baby on here? Is it just because they’re really young? Taylor of course stresses about packing her cutest clothes for the hospital, and laughs off the pain while her sister and mom taunt her about the horror of childbirth.

Hours later, she’s definitely not laughing. In fact, she’s crying. A lot. For thirteen hours, until she can get her epidural. Nathan is amazed by childbirth. He lets out a classic Keanu “Whoa.”

Picture 46

“I’d switch places with you if I could! Probably. Wait, that’s not possible… right? Cause I’m feeling kind of down today…”

Finally, we get alien baby, which Taylor doesn’t seem that excited about. I guess she’s really tired or just realize she’s fucked or both.

Picture 50(3)

FUCKKKKK

Picture 51

Is it just me or is that a Benjamin Button baby?

Since Taylor pushed the baby out her vagina instead of getting cut open, she and baby Aubri Rose get discharged after just one day. They go back to Taylor’s house, where Aubri immediately starts pooping and puking all over everything, grossing out her disillusioned new parents. The baby almost freakin chokes on her own spitup, but Taylor’s older sister saves the day as the new parents didn’t even realize anything was happening.

As usual, baby daddy starts slacking almost immediately. He won’t change the diaper or take out the trash, and says of his little baby “She’s disgusting. It stinks.” Asshole. He’s not around for the routine middle of the night crying montage, where baby Aubri Rose is inexplicably wearing mittens. (Anybody know?)

Picture 54

“Damnit, I knew I should have done adoption” face

Also, he’s not helping financially at all. He STILL doesn’t have a job, even though he’s now old enough. When Taylor bothers him about it, he hick-ily spits out “Go get you a job too!” She says she thinks they should trade places, with her working and him taking care of the baby, to which he replies, “No!”

Of course, this is all made worse by the fact that Taylor is home with the baby 24/7 and stuck doing virtual school. Sis and grandma start to get worried as Taylor cracks under the pressure. The new parents finally have a huge fight, which begins when she tells him not to yell in front of the baby. Response? “Shut up.” Response to asking for more help? “I do everything around here.” Response to the fact that he only takes out the trash? “Shut up.” Parting thoughts? “Are you stupid?” and “You’re an idiot.” This is textbook verbal abuse if I’ve ever heard it. I was really ready to kick this guy in the face watching this. 16 years old and he’s already HORRIBLE.

Picture 57(2)

How could such an asshole produce THIS??

Luckily, grandma overheard Nathan being a twat, and makes it into a family affair where mom, sis and Taylor all confront him. I LOVE seeing strong women team up against assholes. Grandma basically says Nathan is too mean and lazy and she’s not going to put up with this shit any more.
“This whole situation is the reason I said that kid should be put up for adoption. It’s because kids should not have kids. Cause you don’t know how to handle situations yet.” Wow, it’s really harsh to say your grandkid should have been put up for adoption, but it’s honest and I agree. Maybe there are young kids responsible enough to handle their own kids, but it’s not these two, especially Nathan.

Taylor ends her episode being pissed at Nathan and that she’s stuck with him for life. “It sucks.” Like all the other moms (maybe the daddy issues thing rings true) she doesn’t want her child to grow up with a single parent, but if Nathan doesn’t get a personality and preferably face transplant, it’s not going to work out. Taylor doesn’t regret having Aubri, but she does regret having her so young.

Picture 56(2)

‘Made it to 16 & Pregnant! Teen Mom here I come!’

And there’s no after show!! I hope this little boo is okay. Really, this is so sad. Seeing the select bits shown in the show, it seems like adoption may have been the better choice – but of course, that would have had huge emotional implications for Taylor. I know I personally would have Juno’d the crap out of that baby, or possibly murdered Nathan and used pregnancy hormones as an insanity defense. Thoughts?


Picture 60

I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anyone would miss you.

McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

30 Comments

  1. 1
    JudgyWudgy
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    The mittens are so the baby doesn’t scratch him or herself. I’m pretty proud I know that fact despite my maternal instinct score of zero.

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    14???

    I don’t understand how these young girls are sexually active. One how are they that comfortable with their bodies at that age to be naked in front of a boy. Two how are they comfortable with all the transmissions of fluids during intercourse. Maybe I was just an immature kid who was easily grossed out by such things. Lastly penises are ugly and scary. No way I would have went near one of those at 14. Now today I can appreciate that scary ugly thing for what it can do when used properly.

  3. 3
    Pikey
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    I was still playing with Barbie dollsa at 14 and thought boys had cooties! The mom was right – kids should not be having kids.

  4. 4
    HeatherF
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    I got my purse stolen a lot too, now I just make hubby carry everything.

    I was bothered by their ages too, you’re right Classy, a penis is ugly and hard to get used to I would have been too giggly at 14 for this. I always try to give the new, especially young dads, the benefit of the doubt but this guy is hard to defend. Why don’t they ever show us more of the dads families and why does he just get to go home, if he’s still a minor then his parents should be helping pay for this baby too. The show was just sad, I am however really psyched about the commercials they showed TEEN MOM 3 is going to be with the same group of girls!!!

  5. 5
    plockeness monster
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    I was adopted and I never once associated being adopted with being abandoned. I always knew that my life was better b/c my birth mother decided to be unselfish and try to give me the best life possible. My parents kick ass and I turned out pretty awesome :)

  6. 6
    ohralphie
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    wow, this was a sad(er then normal) one.
    It makes me wonder when MtV will announce their ’30 and a Grandma’ series…
    No joke, a woman I worked with was a grandmother at the age of 28. Too damn sad for words.

  7. 7
    Leita
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    This shit is the reason why I’m SO thankful I didn’t have a boyfriend in middle school. I don’t think I would have been assertive enough to state my limits, much less practice safe sex. When I lost my virginity to my first boyfriend at 16, we used a condom, he finished outside per my request, and I still freaked out so bad I delayed my period by a whole month! It felt like my world was going to collapse. Even though I’m still with him today (we’re engaged!), if I could do it over knowing we’d still be together, I still would have waited until I was at least eighteen. We didn’t discuss what we’d do if I got pregnant, and though we were both smart kids, we didn’t know enough. I was also annoyed that sex was automatically awesome for him when it really didn’t thrill me the first year, lack of practice and such. I still think it’s a goddamned miracle we made it out of high school childless.

  8. 8
    crazy rooster
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Classy, you make a lot of sense, as usual.

  9. 9
    Chicken Lips
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    Good to see Ohio white trash in the house again! Love it when my state be representin’! I live close to the Nasty ‘Nati, thus my terrible grammar. =)

    You know, I watched the unseen moments episode that was on after this and they showed a clip of these two discussing adoption seriously and actually checking it out. I’m disappointed this wasn’t shown in the actual show because without that, their conversations about adoption were much like the conversations I have debating whether or not I should keep a pair of shoes. However, even though I think they made the wrong decision for Baby, I’m glad that they showed SOME maturity by actually investigating adoption.

  10. 10
    Marissa Barnes
    Posted June 17, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    wooo! go Ohio! I’m from Toledo so I’m not close to them. Ok I’m the odd ball here, I had sex at 15…but it was a month away from my 16. And I used a condom and it lasted about 2 minutes…

    In that Unseen Moments it showed a moment where the guy’s mom said he had to come home. How can she say that when they have a child he should be helping with? And the I do everything? You know he’s going to go on about MTV cutting it to make him look bad.

    This girl is going to end up on Teen Mom because she seriously is still a teen and going to be for a while.

  11. 11
    Brattygrl
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 12:57 am

    I am a mother of four boys. My oldest is almost 12, with one right behind him at 10. I already have gaggles of little girls hanging out in front of my house or sending their little sisters to my door to ask if my 5 yr old daughter can play. I’m not stupid, your not here for my daughter. I’m trying my damnedest to shoo these little girls away. Any girl that age chasing my boys that bad worries me! Now all of that being said, IF my boys were irresponsible enough to wind up with a pregnant girlfriend, I so would be making them make every sacrifice the mother is making! They would be working & taking care of that child day in & day out! Sorry, but no hanging out with friends or just plain being lazy. Why do none of the parents make their sons take actual responsibility? And, I would be the first one to smack my son dead in his mouth for talking to his girlfriend/mother of his child that way! I’ve had it done to me & no son of mine will ever do it!

    Okay, this is a little to soapbox-y & serious, so I’ll stop here! Great recap, as always!

  12. 12
    Lyla
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 5:58 am

    I couldn’t get over the scene where his mother was telling them that she doesn’t agree with adoption and she’s glad they weren’t doing it. What kind of grown woman seriously thinks that the best parents for that baby is a couple of 15 year olds? Now I know where Nathan got his selfish attitude.

    One more note – in the unseen footage they show a scene of Taylor talking with her mom about how she’s not going to breastfeed because it’s gross to put your boob in your babies mouth. Not saying that every mom has to breastfeed but I just thought it should her total immaturity about her body and the reason breasts exist. Random note but it just struck me as how young she really is

  13. 13
    ohralphie
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 6:55 am

    @brattygrl – totally agree. If my son ever acted this way toward the mother of his child he would not find a safe haven at my home. Why the parents of the fathers act helpless in the face of their sons assholery I can’t even begin to imagine.

  14. 14
    HeatherF
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 7:10 am

    I actually thought that the dad watching the birth was going to have an effect on him, as far as really making an effort seeing what she was going through and all, because he seemed really blown away. I thought his mom cradling him afterwords was sweet, (well, kind of creepy looking) but sweet, I was really pulling for this guy and he failed her over and over. :( Oh and I put on rollerblades when I was pregnant, I was quickly screamed at by several people so I took them off. lol I don’t even know why I did it, just a little retarded I guess.

  15. 15
    Chicken Lips
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 7:16 am

    @brattygirl & olralphie – chances are the paternal grandparents don’t realize the extent of the behavior until they see the show. We see snippets sometimes of the boy’s parents with them and their actions aren’t all that egregious when they are together (compared to when the parents aren’t around). Of course, if the parents had any kind of authority or power over their kid, he wouldn’t have knocked some girl up because they would have been an actual parent and taught them not to do such things at the age of 15…

    I also blame the mother’s parents too…no one wants to be a parent anymore they all want to be their “friend”.

  16. 16
    Brattygrl
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    @ohralphie- I’ve said that plenty of times! If my boys do something they know they are wrong for, don’t come home crying to me! You better go beg & plead & hope she lets your butt back in!

    @chickenlips, as far as the parents not knowing about the verbal abuse & lack of motivation for taking care of the baby, that may be true, but there’s no reason why she didn’t make him get a job. If my son refused to get a job, I’d work his ass off at home until he was begging to flip burgers for minimum wage! That’s just me though!

  17. 17
    HereGoHellCome
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Love the “Clueless” reference in the last screen grab! I can’t wait for the new Teen Mom with the first season girls…guess this seasons girls didn’t merit a Teen Mom 3? Didn’t Amber have a suicide attempt recently? It seems that whenever one of these reality shows has something that makes it to the media, it always ends up being filmed for the show….

  18. 18
    Joy_Subtraction
    Posted June 19, 2011 at 11:08 am

    I agree with you on the super-protection thing as a teen. I had sex with one guy in high school, we were very serious and together for 4 years, had a mature relationship, and only did it when I was 17. We always used the pill, a condom, and spermicide. There was no way I was going to get pregnant. The grief from my mom (along with the ass-whoopin’) would have been so much worse than taking care of a baby all unprepared.

    I’m glad I didn’t watch this one. I’d probably have fist holes in my TV. And just a note, I had a job when I was 15. Voluntarily. So did my husband. If you are persistent, you can get a job. That kid is a giant lazy pussy. Congratulations to his mom…she did a fantastic job. I realize she was single or whatever, but you can teach a kid morals even if you’re doing it on your own.

    @oralphie – Grandma at 28?! Geez, I became a mom for the first time at 27. That’s horrifying. I can’t imagine being a grandma at my age. I had friends in HS that got pregnant at 16 and 17 and realizing their kids are now 12 and 13 is scary. I can’t imagine their kids having kids already.

    I really hope the kids watching this are taking this show for what it should be – a lesson to NOT get pregnant. I can’t imagine anything about this being romantic.

  19. 19
    emilyhartly
    Posted June 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

    @Joy_Subtraction – That is an excellent point, about teenage jobs. Babies or no babies, rich parents or not-so- rich parents, we ALL had jobs by 15. At least summer jobs. And most of us worked younger than that, depending on laws and our parents desire to keep us from just watching TV all day (2011 = “playing video games, twittering, facebooking…all day).

    Until your recap I was sure I heard the ages all wrong. That bogles my mind, like others have said, I can’t imagine that whole having-sex-let-alone-a-baby-at-14/15.

    I really hope this show is a deterant and not an inspiration for all concerned. What do the kids say about it?

  20. 20
    HeatherF
    Posted June 19, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I lied about my age to get a job when I was that age but we didn’t have a 9% unemployment rate back then. You dressed nice and went in person and smiled and asked for an application and filled it out in pen and were real careful to write clearly and were in a position to make an impression, now employers say “Go to our website upload a resume.” So I think that makes a harder to get a job especially a kid, trying to finish school etc… I kind of understand the whole shotgun wedding thing now, force them to get married and stay together and work it out, they may be miserable but atleast there are two parents involved equally.

  21. 21
    Lindsey
    Posted June 19, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    My little sister just got out of 8th grade and she told me over half the girls in the school are sexually active. She is not (she is pretty normal lol) but most of her friends have. Oddly enough it is the girls that have had sex not the guys, she said most of the guys haven’t had sex yet.

    I swear seeing the dads on this show reminds me of how my ex husband was when we had kids. I can totally relate to what they are feeling and it is awful, I wish I would have done something about it sooner, but like these girls I had the idea in my head that the kids needed both their mother and father together, even when their father was a crappy dad and life with him was miserable. Thank God I finally woke up but my heart breaks for these girls.

    And pressuring kids to get married is not going to solve the problem of the guy not helping. Unfortunately, they will only help if they want to and most of these guys are absolutely selfish (some of the girls are too) so it is unlikely that will change with the prospect of marriage. When I was married my ex did nothing. He probably changed 2 diapers in his life and that was only with our first son. We separated when I was pregnant with our second son and he didn’t even see the boys for 2 years. He is back in the picture now and doing well for the most part, but if I had stayed married to him the kids would have a terrible role model in him. It is best that we parent separately, and if he doesn’t want to step up and take care of the kids, I am strong enough to do both jobs without complaining that I don’t have a man. The boys have tons of strong men in their lives (grandpas, uncles, cousins) so they aren’t hurting for support. Sadly, these girls don’t usually realize that having a man isn’t everything and not every man is going to be a good father.

  22. 22
    2Hyper
    Posted June 19, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    Every time I watch this show I thank the Lord that I was a later bloomer! No dude was even trying to get near me when I was 14. I didnt have sex until I was 19 and a junior in college and that was 19 mins of non-pleasure that I would have loved to erase.

    I had my first son at 30 and my second son at 32 and I still feel so ill prepared to parent them and my husband and I are still struggling on how to readjust our relationship as we balance parenthood and everything else. I couldnt imagine dealing with all this at 14!

  23. 23
    HeatherF
    Posted June 19, 2011 at 11:36 pm

    aaw thank you for your honesty and non judgmental post Hyper!!, I too feel glad about the waiting for sex til 19 and even then I only did it cause I thought I was getting to that “old maid” stage. I also feel like I’m going to be the “old” mom at school functions cause I had my kids at 28 and 30, lol, and I was totally unprepared and went into it kicking and screaming… with the first one anyway, I put my game face on with the second. lol

  24. 24
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted June 20, 2011 at 6:16 am

    I had sex for the first time at 16 with my English teacher. I did it because 1) She was hot (for an English teacher.) 2) She told me I was special and that she’d never done “that” with one of her students, 3)She thought she might hurt herself if I didn’t bone her on her desk. If Ms. Carelli had gotten knocked up, I wonder if she would have expected me to help with the baby? I certainly was on the fast-track to senior grocery bagger at Grand Union…

  25. 25
    Pikey
    Posted June 20, 2011 at 7:18 am

    NWMT: Are you serious? If so, that was a serious violation of ethics by your teacher! I know that everyone thinks that teenage boys can do it anytime, anywhere but this is just wrong… (Sorry that is the mother in me reacting – I would kill any teacher who took advantage of their position of power over one of my children)

  26. 26
    Parisi LaRoe Parisi LaRoe
    Posted June 20, 2011 at 8:18 am

    @NWMTV-I worked at Grand Union! How weird.

  27. 27
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted June 20, 2011 at 9:16 am

    @Pikey. Oh yeah. It happened alright. I learned how to find the clitoris in 8th grade but I never did quite get the hang of conjugating verbs. Course, this was back before Pamela Smart, so my experience went unreported and unaddressed.

    And my verbs remain poorly conjugated.

    At my 20-year reunion, I found out that she’s also told four of my classmates that “they were her special students.” Man, that was tough for an emotionally fragile man like me to hear.

  28. 28
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted June 20, 2011 at 9:20 am

    @NWMTV, sorry to hear that your teacher was a slut.

  29. 29
    keep your pants on
    Posted July 2, 2011 at 11:20 am

    The natives are getting antsy. When are we going to get the finale recap?

  30. 30
    HeatherF
    Posted July 3, 2011 at 10:00 am

    YEAH what happened???

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