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Ok. I know this is really late. I don’t have an excuse though… well, my excuse is that So You Think You Can Dance just started, and both times I had a free hour and was like “Oh I should write my 16 & Preggers recap!” I watched So You Think You Can Dance instead. I can’t help it! This show sucks!
But here I am, better late than never, exploring our first episode that even considers the A-word… no, not abortion, adoption. Our preggers teen this week, Kianna, struggles again and again with whether to “do adoption.” I’m not quite sure why she insists on saying “do adoption,” other than that maybe it sounds better than “give up my baby for adoption.” Also, she might just like adding ‘do’ to things, as illustrated by her first line of the episode – “Do it pretty!”
P.S., why do they always start the show with the girls doing their hair or makeup or whatever? Why? Why? To emphasize that they will never be young or pretty or worry about such shallow things again? To illustrate how young and shallow they still are? Because that’s what girls do? If so, what do boys do? I dunno.
Anyway, back to Kianna. She’s a 17 year old black girl from Texas, with lovely blonde streaks in her hair.She always matches her eyeshadow to her shirt. She was raised by a single mom, who was once a teen mom herself. (Are you a ‘teen mom’ forever, or only til you hit 20?) Her boyfriend is a bangin football player, Zach.
Kianna is looking a little chunky/not so pretty, and I don’t think all of it is attributable to the pregnancy. So I’m thinking to myself, how did she land this football stud? Answer: He’s 15. And goes to another school. Both valid strategies, which I also employed – but usually separately – in my own chunky high school days. Not hot enough to date a hot guy in your grade? Go younger. Older woman points make up for it. Not hot enough to date a hot guy at your school? Go to the next district. “She goes to another school” points make up for it. Plus, if you used to be REALLY fat, nobody at the other school will know and remember you and call you a bouncing ball of lard even after you use lose twenty pounds. A-hem.
Also, I feel disgusting for thinking this fifteen year old guy is hot. Damnit.
Kianna then embarks on a list of reasons not to get impregnated by a fifteen year old, other than that it’s gross. a. He doesn’t have a license, which especially sucks when he lives a half hour away. b. It’s really hard for him to get a job. c. He is (obviously) immature. d. They’d only been together two months before the pregnancy. Oh wait, that has nothing to do with him being 15, but it still sucks.
im bored so here’s the future baby!
As Kianna and Zach discuss the unexpected pregnancy, Kianna asks this gem. “I missed three days of my birth control pill.. who knew that just three days could make our lives change forever?” Well, that me answer that for you. I knew. Every medical professional in America knew. Your mom probably knew. The little instruction packet that comes with your birth control pills knew. The internet knew. Non-abstinence-only sex education knew. Only you didn’t know, because you live in Texas.
Kianna’s taking a bunch of steps to counterract the unfortunate baby daddy age difference. She’s transferring to a new school that has free day care and might let her graduate early – her eventual goal is to become a veterinarian.
After the requisite ‘oops’ boyfriend/girlfriend talk, it’s time for the requisite disappointed parents talk. As a teen mom herself, Kianna’s mom knows how hard it is, an didn’t want it for her daughter. She says she took “precautions” to keep this from happening. Apparently those precautions didn’t include teaching her daughter how to use birth control or a condom.
Kianna admits that her first impulse was to have an abortion, but she couldn’t go through with it, so she is thinking about adoption instead. She rightly (IMO) points that adoption might be the best choice for her, because she fears she can’t take care of him, graduate, and work it out financially.
more baby! them diapers is expensive
Mom doesn’t seem to care either way what Kianna does – which is interesting since she got pregnant as a teen and chose against abortion and adoption – but Zach is adamant. His single mother raised three kids, so he says they can do it. (I think. I can’t understand wtf he’s saying and there are subtitles on most of it.) He’s excited to have a little boy and basically uses whatever veto power he has to shoot down the “do adoption” option. He also accuses Kianna of taking “the easy way out,” to which Kianna responds that “adoption is actually not that easy,” because of all the emotions involved. At the end of the conversation Kianna is still undecided, but disappointed that Zach is so strongly against adoption.
At their next meeting (they only see each other on the weekends because Zach has to get rides from his mom..) he claims he’d “give up anything. I just don’t want to see someone else raise my son.” We’ll see if that means “I want to raise my son” or “I want to sit back and watch Kianna raise my son and not help at all.” Kianna grills him pretty hard about getting a job, getting his license, being around more, etc, and finally says she’ll keep the baby IF he helps.
This decision gets a little easier at the next doctor’s visit, where she goes with a friend. She sees pictures of her little baby boy and makes the enchanted new mother face, so we know right away she’s going to keep him.
I honestly don’t know what I’d “recommend” in this situation. Adoption would definitely make Kianna and Zach’s dream-following easier, but it might not be best for the kid – it’s REALLY hard to find adoptive parents for dark-skinned babies! There aren’t enough black adoptive parents out there for all of them, so it’s down to foster system or a family of a different race – which I’m sure can be completely fine and wonderful, or isolating and awful, depending on the family. Also, Kianna feels so ambivalent that I think she would be haunted by guilt.
Kianna’s mom seems okay with this decision, but not okay with being the source of financial support for the baby. Since Zach doesn’t have a job and Kianna has $130 dollars in her bank account, this presents quite a problem – one that is never really resolved in the episode. I assume Zach eventually gets a job and Kianna’s mom decides to take more of the heat.
When Kianna is only a few weeks away from birth, she gets an assignment in her school’s parenting class. It’s that awesome fake baby we have seen in so many sitcom episodes. She has to carry it around and comfort it and stuff. You know… that really would have been a lot more useful before she got pregnant. Now, it just serves as a terrifying harbinger of what’s to come!
dude let’s get it stoned
At the next doctors appointment, Kianna asked about her swollen feet and learns she might have precclampsia, (SP????) a condition that can put both baby and mama in danger. She has to pee in a jug for an entire day, which results in a hilarious montage of her lugging pee in and out of the refrigerator, then bring it in for tests.
Finally, Kianna gets her test results on the phone (is that allowed? They always make me come find out about my STDs in person!) and is in fact at risk for preecclampsia. They want to induce labor immediately – as in, that same day, even though she’s not due for three weeks, and her and Zach don’t have a crib or anything yet! Now that is scary. Even better, Zach broke his arm right before she had to go get her labor induced, so he’s rocking a pink cast.
At the hospital Kianna gets the labor inducing drug and sits to wait. Eight hours later, and there’s lots of pain but no baby. She gets pain meds (her mom, hilariously: “Kianna, this is probably the only time I’m going to ask you if you want some drugs) and gets a little loopy: “My head feels like it’s freee…” hahahah. After like 17 hours, though, she still isn’t dilated enough, and the baby is in danger and its pulse is dropping. After her emergency labor inducing, they now want an emergency c section. This poor girl. Luckily, her mom is being very calm and supportive and explaining everything to Kianna. Everyone puts on hilarious smurf blue scrub suits and does a prayer. What? That would scare me, like they’re prepping me for last rites or something!
Finally, a big, white lookin baby is c-sectioned out. Tada.. it’s Kay’Den!
That really sounds like a superman-esque alien name, but okay. I guess it looks kind of alieny too.
Kianna and her baby bond for a few days while she recovers, then they finally take the owey bumpy ride home, where Kianna’s guts really hurt from being dumped out and then sewed back in.
Kianna’s friends – who, I haven’t mentioned yet, are really sweet – come over immediately to meet the baby. Zach comes over too, but not before stopping… to get a hair cut, which leads to the first post-birth fight. With his inability to come any time but the weekend anyway, she’s pissed he would take time out for that.
first physical confrontation over the baby.. get the baby book someone!
We then get the traditional ‘baby wakes up crying all night’ montage. At some point, Kianna gives up on her wig in frustration and works her hair au natural for the rest of the episode. Get it girl!
When Zach comes over, Kianna just wants to complain about how exhausted she is taking care of the baby alone – which I totally understand! They’re still together, so it’s his job to listen to her. Then again, he’s not listening because he’s completely captivated by his son, which is sweet. Not sure where to come down on this.
how can you be mad when theres feet on the face!?
Kianna finally gets back to school, which she admits to the cameras – but not her friends – is very overwhelming. She does, however, continue to find the strength to match her eyeshadow with her shirt, which makes her look nice and disney princessy.
In the end, Kianna doesn’t get as much help from Zach or her mom as she had hoped. Her mom pretty much has the attitude that Kianna made the baby so she can handle it herself – she’s already been through that crap. Zach is just young and immature and probably has no idea what to do.
Kianna says she wishes her and Zach had waited to have sex, since she was a virgin until then. She wasn’t ready to have a baby, it was really hard, blah blah. She probably would have chosen adoption if it weren’t for Zach. Hm. In the aftershow, we learn that she and Zach are still together – and that they are waiting until marriage to have sex again. Seeing as they made it about two months into their relationship, I have serious questions about their waiting skills – especially since Kianna is now on the shot for birth control. Hmm..