16 & Pregnant: Daddy Issues

Recaps

By McWeanis | Wednesday, May 11, 2011 | 1:56 am | 21 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: 16 and Pregnant, Featured, Recaps

baby grumps

Baby say, enough drama!

So sorry for the extreme lateness of this. My last week has involved meeting Bill Cosby, the theft of my purse, getting laid for the first time in months and getting in to Hahvahd Law, which I will chalk up as a overall WIN for me and a LOSE for you since you didn’t get to read my awesome recap.

Also, it’s getting hard to convince myself to sit down and watch this when it’s so formulaic and depressing, and I know it’ll be a new girl I’ve never seen before each week.

This week involves the classic dilemma – what worse? A bad daddy or no daddy? There really is no answer to this; it depends on how bad the bad daddy is (say that 5 times fast!)

creepy illustration

Why do these illustrations make everyone look literally retarded?

This episode focuses on Jamie, a sweet girl from North Carolina with a bad boy boyfriend. From the blonde hair to the horrible nose to the extreme nerdery, I can really relate to this mom and it’s freaking me out. She has straight A’s, but somehow got involved with Ryan. She has the somewhat strange dream of being a radiation technician. Oh North Carolina, how ambitious your straight a students are.

ryan snivelling

At least he has an honest face.

Ryan has no license because of his DUIs and tickets, and is a notorious partier. Plus he wears that stupid big hat. He has missed three baby doctor appointments because he has to be in court. My tastes ran more towards ambiguously brown manual laborers, but notably, none of them impregnated me.

Since Ryan has no license, the two take the bus to school, which is sad for a senior in high school but really sad for a pregnant senior in high school. This episode starts only a few weeks before the birth, and it breaks down like this:

Scene 1: Jamie and Ryan talk about how they met and got together. Boring and irrelevant.

Scene 2: Awkward contrived scene with friends, where they ask about the Big Conflict (will Ryan step up to the plate?) and about birth control (they were not using condoms or pills. Did she get an A in health? Do they have sex ed? Ahhhh.)

Scene 3: Awkward contrived scene where Jamie’s mom admits she wanted her to abort the baby. Oh god, poor future grandchild! Burn the footage!

The deep psychological issue at hand is that Jamie’s dad is a dick and basically isn’t in her life. He has a new family, isn’t supportive about the baby, and didn’t call on her birthday. In a wonderful technology age turn of events, he found out about the pregnancy on myspace, then texted Jamie “please please no baby.” (I wonder if that’s how he reacted when she was conceived?) He looks just like the creepy uncle from Napoleon Dynamite!

tiny seahorses

Just imagine you’re in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses…

Jamie wants little baby Maia (I like the name!) to have the dad, so she’s wishing and hoping and praying that Ryan is going to get it together so Maia doesn’t continue the generational cycle of daddy issues.

Just a few days before labor, Jamie goes out with her friends to get some social time in before the baby. And where do they go? The amusement park! What a great idea to bond with your friend who can’t go on any rides! It’s so sad watching her cheer for her friends as they ride :( They do have good pregnancy food, though – candy apples and funnel cake. At the park we learn that Ryan is planning the baby shower.

He pulls it off pretty well – his stepmom runs it, he wears a pink shirt, there are games. Blah blah blah.

We also get to visit Jamie’s school, which as a special day care for student babies. My high school didn’t have that! We had secretive abortions instead. The baby will unfortunately have to ride the school bus in a special school bus car seat. Really sad that they have those.

At home, we see that obviously Jamie’s mom – who is pretty cool – doesn’t like Ryan at all. She even says that if Ryan comes over when the baby is born, they can’t share a bed. It’s a little late for that, grammy. Jamie and her mom also agree that Ryan can’t have the baby alone, at least at first – which makes sense to me, since he’s an irresponsible partying idiot.

where did i go wrong

“Where did I go wrong?”

In fact, on the night she goes in to labor, Ryan is out being an irresponsible partying asshole, and Jamie can’t get ahold of him. He waltzes in hungover around hour 5 of labor. This is pretty much a horrible sad labor scene. Her dad’s missing, ryan sucks, her mom doesn’t want the baby. Shes throwing up. They might have to use forceps to help pull the baby out. I don’t like that… my little auntie’s brain was squished by forceps in the 1950s and then she died. Oh god theyre putting surgical instruments up in there. I don’t like it! I don’t like it!

push push push

i don’t know.

Finally, little Maia is born. This baby is actually a little less instantly gross than the others. Maybe cause it’s a girl! Everyone cries, and thing seem okay for a second… but then Jamie sends Ryan home cause she is pissssed. Jamie’s dad at least shows up with flowers, making the day not a complete loss for the daddies.

Once Jamie brings the baby home, things are sad and quiet. Ryan and Jamie fight constantly and almost instantly break up. Ryan wants to take the baby to his house – does he understand it is ONE WEEK OLD? He wants to have alone time with the baby, away from Jamie, and Jamie puts the kabosh on that. They both cry. Hick crying is awful. There are hiccups and stutters.

Hick tears are the saddest

“But we could always pump and give me enough to feed her!” Never thought I’d hear that from a guy in that hat.

Ryan looks like such a kid in this scene. He’s crying so much he can’t even breathe and is rocking back and forth. He does seem sweet with the baby though, holding her close and giving her kisses. But he continues asking her to take the baby alone, and they keep saying no.

Instead of, you know, seeing his baby at the mom’s house, he is pretty stubborn after this and won’t come over, claiming fear of Jamie’s mom. If I were him, I’d be scared too. That mom clearly had her own idiotic baby daddy and isn’t going to stand for it twice. Luckily for Jamie and her mom, Ryan’s name isn’t even on the birth certificate, so he has no parental rights thus far.

maia patoot

At least Maia’s still a patoot!

There is a boring almost reconciliation scene, highlighted by baby Maia dressed as a ladybug. Jamie goes to a party at Ryan’s, where they fight and he calls her mom a bitch in a roundabout way. At least Ryan wants to be around Maia, enough to cry about it all the time like a pansy, but he won’t let up that she has to come to his house. Jamie and Ryan are clearly over. Having a baby really pops the relationship bubble, and Jamie starts to see that she was delusional to think Ryan could be the daddy she was hoping for.

When Jamie finally returns to school, she’s exhausted and behind. Everyone stares at her, but not for the typical we know you had a baby reasons – everyone knows Ryan has been cheating on her, even on the night she went in to labor. DOUUUCHEEE. “Who cheats on their pregnant girlfriend???” asks Jamie. “A douchebag. Ryan.” her astute friend replies.

After this, Jamie decides to have full custody of Maia – no kid for Ryan. Can you do that? I thought the dad had to be abusive or dangerous or something; maybe they can get him for neglect. This is awful for Jamie, since she really wanted her baby to have a dad. I hope she’s doing this actually for Maia, and not what Ryan accused her of – using the baby as a weapon against him for cheating on her.

looking in the mirror

It’s like looking in the mirror. Right before a sneeze.

At the end of the episode, Jamie is reconciled to raising her baby on her own. “I know where I want to be in life and I know where im going to be in life.” Slightly uplifting, I guess, but she looks exhausted and sad. Whoever said this show glamorizes teen pregnancy is an idiot. Yea, cute babies are great; go work at Jamie’s daycare. I’m going to go take 18 birth control pills.

Sorry for the lateness, I’mma get on the new episode stat!

Peace,

mcweanis






 

McWeanis
About

first thing's first: the origin of "mcweanis."

It is not because I have a giant weanis (look it up) although it is usually unusually bulbous and crusty.

it is in fact because as a child i was dubbed Weanie (it rhymes with my first name, because i'm awesomely named)  by my older sister Drunk, which my friends co-opted and which eventually evolved into weanis and finally mcweanis or MC weanis depending on how gangster i am at the time.

i am a huge nerd of all kinds, especially tv, books, and school. i'll be going to harvard law school in the fall cause i'm so SCHMANCY! i plan to put my excellent time management skills to work in balancing my courseload and my must-watch-tv-load.

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Tmurda
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 2:19 am

    LOL. Jeez. Why the fuck do the parents ALWAYS decide to enforce rules AFTER THE FACT!?!?!? Too late, moron!!! Does anyone else see how obvious all these “dads” are being by picking fights until he is no longer “allowed” to see the kid. How convenient! All he has to do is be a dick, and VIOLA! He’s off the hook! He gets to go back to his old ways and use the excuse that the mom won’t allow him to see the kid. Too bad these dudes never have a parent in the mix who gives a shit and makes him take responsibility. Whatever. I hate this show with all my being, but love your recaps. Btw-CONGRATS ON HAVAD LAW!!!!! That’s an amazing accomplishment!

  2. 2
    ohralphie
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 5:39 am

    Congratulationsons on getting into Hahvahd Lah, meeting the Coz and getting laid (coincidence? I think not). Oh, and great recap especially given the sad formulaic material you have to work with.

    I can’t believe how naive or willfully stupid and blind teenage girls can be. Every last one of them think that a) pregnancy can’t happen to them b)a baby will change their boyfriend and c) their boyfriend will stay with them forever. It simply boggles the mind.

    Oh, and wtf? Why the hell is adoption rarely an option for teen moms?

  3. 3
    considerthis
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 7:33 am

    First Ryan’s stepmom reminds me of Gloria from Modern Family – cracking up at the hot hispanic stepmom in tight clothes baking cookies.
    Second what a wussy boy Ryan is – Ugh the constant weeping and heaving to catch his breath. The last time I cried in that fashion I was probably 9 years old. Man -up gangsta you a daddy now!
    Third I love how this teen mom’s are so ready, willing and eagar to use thier newborns as a weapon. You cheated on me so I am withholding parental rights/visitation from you and then will bitch about how hard it is to raise a child “all by myself”. Check your egos gals and do what is right for the kid.

  4. 4
    mere2142
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 9:34 am

    My high school had a baby room when I was there – I think it’s gone now though and the teen mommies need to find their own daycare.

    There was a segment on the Today show this morning – a 17 year old, straight ‘A’ high school student faked her pregnancy as part of a social experiment. Only her Mom, boyfriend and principal knew the truth – hew own siblings and bf’s parents didn’t know it was fake!

    Congrats on your fantastic week!

  5. 5
    Funtimes
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    She’s not using the baby as a weapon against him for cheating. The reason he was in court all the time was because he was arrested for possession of cocaine & marijuana in July and also received an underage drinking citation a few weeks later in August. He has a history of DUI and a history of cocaine abuse and that’s why she is seeking sole custody.

    Plus it’s bullshit that he cries about seeing his daughter. You want to see her so bad then swallow your pride and see her. You don’t take a newborn away from her mother (especially a breastfeeding mother) because you feel like it. For him it would be fun for a whole hour probably until he realized it’s not all cuddling and playing and then he would pawn the baby off on his mother/father so he can go snort some coke with his new girlfriend and then drink and drive.

    I wouldn’t want him around a baby either..

  6. 6
    emilyhartly
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Where do I officially go for a complaint about this recap/site in general? Late/schmate/Harvard/great. Who’s the official boss? Flippit? Flippit, you seem great but where do I go to discuss how things seem to be changing on this site. (Yes, I realize you may have a few ideas about: “where I can go”)

    I first wanted to make my comments directly about this recap but it seems to be a bigger problem around here.(recap too late, for one of mine comments. and most of them are getting later. One week is redic.)

    On this recap I will say late excuses, or not, recap was boring. I will now send and then forever REGRET this post. Even if I have, what I feel, some compeling ideas, I’m sure, my minor and extremely managable concern is not popular .

    I have considered you (TVGasm) a friend and don’t want to lose you or impugn you in anyway.

  7. 7
    emilyhartly
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Wow,
    I guess I’m not that
    angry. Writing in the little box makes it look nicer. Printed I sound like a newly accepted Harvard Law student hater.

  8. 8
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    emilyharty, If you would like to comment on a particular show and cannot wait for the recap, there are forum threads for each of the shows where you can comment. If your particular show of interest doesn’t have a thread, create one! It’s not only allowed, but welcome. :)

    As far as the recappers..they do have lives outside of Tvgasm (surprise!). So there are times when recaps may fall behind. I know one can get impatient waiting for a dose of funny from our favorite recappers, but cut them a bit of slack..they’re doing this for love not money. :)

  9. 9
    keep your pants on
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    I would not let Ryan take my cat for the day, let alone a baby. Seriously, he has no since of good judgement when it comes to trivial things, let alone caring for a newborn. I can see him drunk, scoring some blow with the baby in the back seat ( probably not in a car seat.) I am glad baby mama came to her senses after miah was born, and not stick around for this major loser.

    And the baby car seat on the bus and daycare on campus is just sad. Just sayin.

    Btw, I thought the recap was great. I personally don’t care that it was late, I totally understand. Some people do lead productive lives.

  10. 10
    Kaya208
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Loved! The WTF look the mom gave the douche bf when she walked in on the bawling scene. Like she already had a shitty day and it just got a lot shittier!

  11. 11
    emilyhartly
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    @sarcasatire. I really wasn’t looking to comment on this ep. I love this Site because I have a health complication and when I am able, it makes me feel better when I can be uplifted. I am completely aware that we are lucky to have this forum and it seems to be at the mercy of talented people w/ other things going on. Actually, your last sentence and ‘smiley face’ got me weepy.Thanks for not being mean, just understanding..

    My main question was how do I comunicate with the Boss? I didn’t want bring any up because of this recap. I was just thinking” Enough!” But I love it

    I just wanted a place to discuss this away from everyone. That’s what I was asking in my post. My neww Comp won’t be working for a coupla weeks so I won’t be a ble to go on forums so don’t sugg. Thanks all

  12. 12
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    @emilyharty, Your welcome!

    As far as emails, I think there may be some info in the About Us section located at the top of the page. There is a drop down menu and a Contact Us link that should provide the necessary info.

    Get Well Soon! :)

  13. 13
    emilyhartly
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    @sarcasatire, thanks.

  14. 14
    Flipit
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    Hi! You can always reach me at flipit75@gmail.com. Thanks for reading!

  15. 15
    McWeanis McWeanis
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    you can email me at mcweanis@gmail.com with suggestions/concerns/rants. sorry i was boring! i’m new and this show suckz ballz

  16. 16
    iamrufus
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Not your fault, McW. This show is very formulaic and boring, like you said. But two thumbs up for the Uncle Rico reference! You’re doing great in my book.

    Like I said last week, I’m only watching so I will have some background info on these girls should they land a Teen Mom 3 spot lol. And also because it makes me relieved I didn’t have a baby as a teen, as I was just as immature as most of these people. Most, not all. And my judgement regarding choice of boyfriends was just as terrible…

  17. 17
    emilyhartly
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    thanks @mcweanis@gmail.com I think you did a great job. “This show sucks Balz!” I actually agree with you. Yes, we are basically interviewing TEEN MOMS. When I get better (I.E) This is the first night, oh never do mind..but you have all been lovely.

  18. 18
    emilyhartly
    Posted May 11, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    yeah, I never should have submitted that. I Doubt I will do that again untill new round in 5 months.

  19. 19
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted May 12, 2011 at 4:25 am

    Congrats on three out of four of those things!!

    And I didn’t think this episode was that depressing.
    It’s sad about Jaime’s daddy issues, but she has a great mom and her friends seem really supportive and kind too. That kind of stuff gives me hope for her life.
    And I liked her, because she seems like such a very smart girl…not the kind of girl that you expect to pop up preggo. I do wonder a bit if she decided to keep the baby as a way to get her father to be more involved with her life.

    And the baby daddy scared me to death…why was he so insistent on taking the baby home alone? If he wanted to be with the baby, he could have gone over there when the mom wasn’t home. Jaime could do her homework or nap or something, and he would have his alone time with the baby. Easy.
    His insistence on taking the baby to his house alone had me giving him all kinds of screwface. Like, mister do you even understand that this is a human being and not a cute new toy?

  20. 20
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted May 12, 2011 at 4:49 am

    What’s with this boy crying? I hope his friends gave him so much shit for that.

  21. 21
    renee
    Posted May 12, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    How come he wanted to take the baby off in his car to be alone with her? Creepy.

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