16 & Pregnant: Spell my name, spell my name

Recaps

By L Boogie | Tuesday, December 7, 2010 | 8:00 am | 22 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: 16 and Pregnant, Featured, Recaps

Introducing Christinna! The latest statistic to come bounding out of South America is actually an transplant from upstate New York. I’m still counting her as a southerner for the sake of proving myself right. By the way, I can call her a statistic because I’m one too. I need to jump into this episode ASAP; I only came for the nachos and the DNA test. Shall we?

Christinna moved to Alabama when she was a junior in high school. She met Isiah, captain of the football team, and made plans to graduate early so they could be together. Their plans are for him to be an NFL player and her to become an English teacher. So far, so good but now she’s pregnant. They decided to elope and his family is super pissed. It doesn’t matter though; they can speed away from the family in Isiah’s cardbard box on wheels. I can’t seem to remember what model the vehicle is though. It’s right on the tip of my tongue…

isiah cutlassOh yeah.

Every episode they have that scene in which the girls act like they’ve never told the the story about how they found out they were pregnant to a group of friends. Usually there are three or four people there but this time it’s packed. Tony, Isiah’s friend, knows a little too much about Christina if you ask me. She says that she was pregnant at her prom and didn’t even realize it. Tony says that she went to the bathroom “like ten times that night.” How does he even know this? He shouldn’t be paying attention to that.

tony 16 and pregnant“The air vent in the ladies room is roomier than you’d think.”

Isiah says that they found out about the baby on his 18th birthday and he’d just finished signing his scholarship papers. Tony chimes in with “that’s horrible!” Ha! I love the couples with brutally honest friends. Christina was really disappointed because, as she so eloquently stated, she can’t do “this that that that.”

christina 16 and pregnant“I also can’t do those those these those, can’t go here there there here or call him her her him.”

They’re not sure if they’re ready to be parents but they say they’ll give it their best. Isiah’s friends tried to convince him to go to college but he refuses and stays behind for his family. Wow! An eighteen year old guy commits a selfless act for his family. How douche-y does that Alex kid from a few episodes ago feel?!

Christinna has the obligatory “how’d you get pregnant and what’d you tell your mom” conversation that all of the girls have on this show. She tells them that they used condoms about three times then one time it broke so they just became careless. Her mother took it well and bought Christinna a Mother’s Day gift. However, her mother got the heck out of Alabama once the sick relative she was watching over became better and Christinna stayed behind – with Isiah’s family. They basically want to run Christinna back up to NY with her fancy talkin ways and flashy ovaries.

Christinna has dinner with Isiah’s family and Grandma Kathy is only talking to Christinna through Isiah. I was hoping that I’d heard that wrong but this grown woman really is asking Isiah to deliver messages to his wife. She feels that a baby isn’t a good reason to get married and his mother echoes those sentiments. Grandma Kathy would have rather he gone to college because now he’s not only home but he “brought something” with him. Wow. It’s one thing to have an opinion; it’s another to call Christinna and/or her baby a “something.” Christinna begins to cry, Isiah walks away and punches his hand and Grandma Kathy officially beats out Grandma Jan from last week for the worst grandmother of the millenium award.

The next day, Christinna and Isiah talk about the pregnancy and she tells him that she resents being pregnant because of all the things she can not do now. She says it’s his fault and she wishes she weren’t pregnant. Someone put an Andrea Yates alert on this girl. He tells her that their dreams will just be delayed and he’s doing his best to make her see the positive side of things.

isiah here there“We’ll still get to go there there here and there.”

Christinna’s friends throw her a shower and she tells her friends how hard it is to deal with his family. Apparently they all know about how horrible his family is and they don’t think she should forgive them.

chasity 16 and pregnantThis cast officially holds the world record for most awkwardly spelled names in a TV episode.

And one of her friends is especially happy.

escaped 16 and pregnantYes! I wasn’t the first one to get knocked up!

Isiah and Christinna decide to name their daughter Destiny and while they’re waiting for a doctor’s checkup, Isiah finally shows his major flaw. He wants to put a new exhaust system on his car. This is the most frustrating part of these episodes because the maturity gap within the couples is so clear. He’s relatively mature but this conversation shouldn’t even be taking place until they have an apartment and money in the bank. He says he needs it for personal enjoyment when in actuality personal pleasure of the one handed variety could have saved him this headache.

Next, they go grocery shopping on their $50 budget and Isiah proclaims that he’s a business major so he knows how to calculate everything. He manages to miscalculate the food anyway and they have to put stuff back. Then they work on figuring out their budget for an apartment and he manages to calculate that wrong too.

mzath class 16 and pregnant“Uh, I think they’re teaching that next week.” 

The kids go apartment hunting and the place is $515 a month. Oh and Chritinna says real-a-tor. Personal pet peeve of mine. The realtor is nice enough and it seems like our morning sick lovebirds might be able to get the place but it’s time for the credit check and one look at the realtor’s face says it all.

punkd 16 and pregnant“Is this my Punk’d?”

Christinna and friends browse the library for information on pregnancy and she says she doesn’t want a C-section because she can not hold the baby until she is stitched up. Then one of her friend’s asks if Christinna will circumcise the baby. She responds “yes, but it’s a girl.” There’s so many things wrong with this exchange that I don’t even know where to start.

weirdos 16 and pregnant

“Can we just stand here and wait for the stork to drop the baby off or do will he just leave it under your pillow?”

The couple goes to a breast feeding class and Christinna gets to take two bras home with her. Finally! A good reason to get pregnant; bras are ridiculously expensive. Sign me up! While Christinna studies lactation, Isiah’s twin sister comes home from college. The two girls were going to room together on campus but that obviusly didn’t happen. As they discuss what a disappointment Christinna’s become to his entire family, Isiah wanders outside to pay a guy for some speakers. It’s all really shady and weird. When he goes back into the house, the girls drill him on what he just did. They figure out that he spent money on speakers and she wants to rethink their marriage because he blew $300.

tw fifteen 16 and pregnant“I told you all about this. Fifteen plus fifteen. That’s $300.”

Christinna and Isiah have a discussion about their relationship and she is rightfuly annoyed about him wasting money. He feels that she isn’t working so she has no right to complain. She keeps threatening to leave because she doesn’t want to live in his house and have to worry about her daughter’s future and he insinuates that she’d be happier with a rich man. She agrees because at least she and the baby would have a provider. Yikes! He’s got a lot to think about. After all, this is a slick talking New Yorker he’s dealing with here. She might run home and be in a Fabolous video before you can say “Alabama has the first drive thru sex shop in the country!”

isiah think 16 and pregnant
Me – Christinna = Football School
Me + Christinna = Me holding baby like a football while my wife’s boobies flatten like pancakes

Apparently Isiah likes pancakes becasue he chooses the second equation. He gets them an apartment and says that he’s in this 200%. Before you know it, it’s time for the birth! Christinna is in labor for an entire day and the baby just will not come out. She’s been pushing for over an hour so they have no choice but to give her a c-section. I’m always amazed at how similar giving birth looks and sounds to conception.

rainbow socks 16 and pregnantHe’s used to those rainbow socks around his neck.

Eventually, Christinna accepts that she has to have a c-section. Isiah is very supportive throughout the entire labor process and it all goes smoothly. Grandma Cruella shows up once the baby’s born to presumably rip out Christinna’s stitches and douse her in alcohol. Isiah stays home for a few days and takes care of Christinna and the baby. It’s tough and exhausting and unfortunately, she does not feel comfortable asking Isiah’s family for work.

At three weeks old, Christinna and Chasity get together to talk about life and Christinna says she’s going back to school in the summer. She’s resentful because she doesn’t get to leave the house and Isiah does. She tells him that she doesn’t like or dislike being a mom. This is what we call a cry for help. She ends up having to take the semester off to take care of the baby and she’s not happy about it. She doesn’t feel that this is her purpose in life.

Isiah is having a mid-teen crisis because he gave up his football dreams. He meets up with his friend Tony and he’s stressed over money and his lingering football potential. He wants to play again but Tony says that football should be last on his list.

tony loves your wife“Taking care of that beautiful wife should be number one. She sure is beautiful. You know she went to the bathroom ten times at the prom? She had on a butterfly thong that night. Pink, like her cheeks. Man, I love your wife.”

Isiah is clearly about to lose it. I’ve got $10 on him repeating football highlights in 20 years a la Al Bundy. For the record, I didnt understand why he didn’t take the scholarship. Even if they had to move, they both could’ve worked and gotten an aprtment or married student housing.

Isiah’s been spending a lot of time at his family’s house and Christinna is uncomfortable with it. His family is on this mission to find out whether the baby is really his and I don’t know where all of this is originating. Even the twin sister who wanted to room with Christinna is in on it. Is it based on any truth or just hopeful slander and speculation? According to the news, Christinna told Grandma Kathy that she slept with another guy. Raise your hands if that makes no sense! Why would Christinna tell this woman anything? Oh that’s right. Christinna must have talked through Isiah to Kathy and that’s where she got the information. I tell ya, it’s like a scene straight out of Ghost.

A while ago, Christinna told Grandma Kathy that she was going to take a DNA test and slap her in the face with it. Grandma Kathy, who looks to have been slapped in the face with a few things over the years, really wants this to happen.

kathy 16 and pregnantExhibit A. Sorry Grams, but you made a pregnant girl cry.

At dinner, Grandma Kathy instigates and asks Christinna about taking a DNA test. So awkward. Christinna says that she’s only been with him and explicitly states that no other penis has been in her vagina. If any of Kathy’s accusations are true, why would MTV have edited this? It actually would have been more exciting. Isiah caves to the pressure of his family and Kathy puts the DNA test on the dining room table. Christinna rightfully leaves the room and Kathy states that she now has her answer. Wow. Just wow. Putting someone on the spot for a DNA test. At least have the decency to go on Maury for this.

We wrap things up with the couple at home taking care of the baby. Isiah supposedly stood up for his wife, when the cameras weren’t rolling, and Christinna feels that they can make this last if they want it. They both sound shaky. He says there stuck there and they have no choice but to try. Christinna says that she’ll be fine with or without Isiah and that if he wants a paternity test, he should be a man and ask for it himself. This needs to be continued; it sounds like a Ricki Lake episode in the making. Someone tell her to come back; MTV needs her! I’ll be the first one in line too. I can’t wait to use my line “drop that zero and get a hero!” No one’s ever said that before. Oh and to prove that she’s serious, Christinna already has her video vixen costume. Watch out NY, she just might be back.

solid gold

So what did you think? These two were a little boring to me. That might actually be a good thing though because they might be so laid back that they’ll be able to stick together. Something tells me that Christinna is just waiting for the perfect reason to leave and Isiah might be all too happy to help her pack.

About

22 Comments

  1. 1
    Angela Parisi LaRoe
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 8:41 am

    Great recap as always L Boogie. I was watching the episode online and wondering what you were going to write about it.

    I am from Western New York and spent most of my life there so I know how much it must SUCK for Cristinna. Spending your whole life there and moving really blows hard. As for the Realtor thing, I am sad to say it is a Upstate New York thing. I say it the annoying way also, though I have a Pittsburgh and Long Island accent as well. Sorry L!

    Anyway, great job as usual!

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 9:08 am

    effin acrylic nails AGAIN!!!

  3. 3
    menomor3
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 10:21 am

    What’s with most of the couples getting married this season?

  4. 4
    Elmstreet
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 11:19 am

    The only that got me through the scenes with Grandma Kathy was knowing that this episode would air and hopefully make her squirm with embarrassment or make her the pariah of the town for a couple of weeks. Hopefully.

    I really liked both of the kids this week! They both know what a sacrifice they’ve made, but they still want to do something with their lives. Something beneficial to other people, even, with Christinna wanting to become an inner-city teacher. And to think that some of the previous girls can’t even spell out G.E.D.

  5. 5
    Elmstreet
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 11:27 am

    Oh, funny you should mention it: we had a discussion today about how to spell “realtor” at my job. Yes, I live in the South, and we like our syllables down here.

  6. 6
    considerthis
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 11:40 am

    Lots of question marks with this episode.
    Why would you turn down a full scholarship and abandon your dream to have a baby? Like you said with college paid for there should be a better Plan “B” than no plan at all????
    Need to get me a job at the Sandwich Shop Isiah is working at – rent, food, acrylic nailz for Chhrriisstinna, a Cadillac and a pimped out Cutlass on that salary????
    Twin sisters change of heart from BFF roomies to be – to calling her a dirty HO – whazzupwitdat????
    Grandma Kathy Bates and the DNA uproar – need a back story STAT.
    Also the “To be Continued” ending – is the baby his? will they stay together? NEED 2 KNOW

  7. 7
    shayhere
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    to take Isaiah’s side, I think he still went to college, just stayed at a local school. I remember him telling Christina in the supermarket that he was a business major (even though he failed at correctly calculating the groceries) . I wish the show said why her mom thought it was ok to leave her 17 year old daughter 2000 miles away w/a family that hated her.

  8. 8
    ReiRay
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    I thought the grandma was awful as well- and she’s not making herself look any better with this:

    http://ology.com/screen/16-and-pregnant-family-threatens-sue-mtv

  9. 9
    sara
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    At least this one wasn’t in high school still. Talking about laziness can she study at night or online. shesh

  10. 10
    ohralphie
    Posted December 7, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Cannot believe he gave up a scholarship —- it would have been hard, but jesus they could have worked something out. After all, the further away from Grandma Kathy the better.
    Better yet, why wasn’t adoption on their radar? Chrisstinna isn’t ready for motherhood (nothing wrong with that at all, especially at her age) and both families are unsupportive asshats. I think that Destiny will be the brunt of both parents and extended families disapointments.

  11. 11
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 8:00 am

    When I was in school I know a guy that got his girlfriend pregnant in his senior year, married her and brought along to the school with her. She attended the community college and he went to the university.

    I am confused as to why this wasn’t an option because at most universities they have family living dorms so they would have taken care of their room and board while in school.

    It just seems strange that he gave up his dream when there were plenty of options.

    I understand some of Grandma Kathy’s anger because you put in all this work to get your kid off to school and in her mind some hussy tricked him and now he has to settle for staying in Huntsville and working at the grocery store. I don’t agree with her actions, but I understand a little bit.

  12. 12
    kdognatl
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 11:34 am

    These two for me were one of the more likeable couples. I was glad education did seem to be a priority for them. Hated his family, especially grandma.

    @ Oralphie, I think these girls think they can handle motherhood. Fortunately I have never been put in the situation to make the choice, but I can imagine neither choice is easy to come by especially adoption. Once you have carried the child and then given birth. That’s gotta be tough.

    I too, thought it was crazy to give up his scholarship but respected that he wanted to be there for his family. The college I went to the football players had to stay in the same dorm, had crazy practice schedules, curfews and traveling during the season. I didn’t know any player that had time for a job much less to help take care of a baby. She would have basically been a single parent. I can imagine he probably took all that into consideration.

    @ Classy, I know my family dorms were for upper classmen and grad students. That was almost 10 years ago, so that could have changed. But as determined as they seemed to get there education, I hope they looked into all there options.

  13. 13
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 11:46 am

    @kdog, We are about the same age, but I assume it’s different circumstances at different schools. I remember the guy I spoke of played football also, but maybe they didn’t think that this was the best choice for their family. Although I think it was just assumed since they were having a baby they couldn’t go off to school.

  14. 14
    L Boogie
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Angela, I’ll only forgive you for ‘realtor’ since you have such a luxurious name :-) . Elmstreet, can’t say the same ;-) …scary name.

    The nails are officially ridic! I know a lady who’s thinking of filing bankruptcy and her nails are ALWAYS done. I know that saving $40 or $80 won’t necessarily be able to pay the mortgage or put someone through school, but every little bit helps.

    And yes! A lot of marriage this time around. It’s amazing how times have changed so much yet this generation still holds on to that idea that they have to/should get married b/c they have a baby. I think it’s best to have two parents but most teens aren’t ready to be parents let alone spouses.

    Even though Isiah was still in school, he admitted that he wasn’t satisfied at his “sorry ass junior college.” It’s just sad to see him give up a scholarship for this. I’m all for family and taking responsibility but going to a prestigious school could have helped in terms of long term planning. Honestly, it might’ve partially satisfied his urge to play football. He’s still young and let’s face it, he’s a guy. Their egos operate differently and he’d probably be happier and more fulfilled in the long run if he at least settled the question of whether he could or could not make it to the NFL.

    Grandma was justified in her anger but I think she took it out on the wrong person. Ultimately, Isiah disappointed her; Christinna owed her nothing. And the sister! What a 180! I just kinda feel like if they’re gonna be kinda broke and not get support from his fam, why not go off to college, be broke, not get support and maybe have a better shot at the long term stuff? I mean, if Isiah was really good he could’ve gotten the coach to illegally rent him an apartment and buy him an Escalade with ‘ESCALADE’ written in block letters on the side (lest we forget).

  15. 15
    L Boogie
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Ok, just read an update. Christinna is living in NY with her mom, going to school and Isiah has chosen (according to her) to not be a part of Destiny’s life. Interesting…and kinda messed up.

  16. 16
    Classy Drunk classy drunk
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    Orrrrrrr…did she take the pregnancy test and the baby wasIsah’s.n’t

  17. 17
    L Boogie
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    @ classy drunk, the only reason I doubt that is because Grandma Kathy would’ve been on the Today Show with the breaking news alert. Unless Christinna just kept refusing to take the DNA test…yikes!

  18. 18
    emilyhartly
    Posted December 8, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    I was actually fired as a receptionist for a REALTY compampany because I said real-i-ty. I think it was also because I was late and called in ‘sick’ alot but the ‘realty’ thing was a big bugaboo and the reason given. So I know it’s realty and realtor but the words are awkward (sp) to say, real-i-tor just sounds better. To clarify, I’m from the north. I don’t think this realty issue would be a deal if the spelling and grammer on this show wasn’t so awful. I hate ‘unique’ spelling of names, your recap of the Za’karius’ episode (won’t get a job as well.. Hillarious but sad and true) Apparently Chasity is a real baby book name but I had to look it up.

    All that aside this was a difficult one to watch. It felt like there was way more to the story. This would have made a great new series about promising athletes and their first baby mama. I think he could have gone on but was a little insecure about either his academics or athletic talent, saw baby as a way out, underestimated how the fam was depending on him to pull them up…a third rate shrink could see the resentment coming on both sides….

    I think chritinna is beautiful but she seemed to have a sly grin on her face. I think it’s b/c she is immature (young) but it could be she thought she caught a pro up on his way?

    This is the first tvgasm story that I googled and, apparently, isiah’s family is trying to sue MTV. Maybe Christinna’s grin has something to do with tony.

    I wish all of these kids the best and have special prayers for the babies involved, I’m just comenting. No Hate for anything except the bad name choices, they even beat Toddlers and Tiarras for dumb names or oddly spelled names.

  19. 19
    SickOfIt
    Posted December 9, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    I’m tired of hearing these girls complain about being in labor for a day and having a relatively uncomplicated delivery. When I had my daughter, I was admitted for having a non-reactive Non Stress Test (the baby’s heart wasn’t having proper accelerations) and I ended up being in labor for just about 48 hours. I had everything done, from Cervidil to Cytotec to using a Foley Bulb catheter to using Pitocin twice and also breaking my water. In the end, my epidural failed and when it finally came time to push (at almost 48 hours exactly) my contractions completely stopped and I had to push without them.

    My daughter ended up coming out blue and not breathing because the cord was around her neck. Finally after the longest 8 mins of my life, the doctor got my daughter to let out a slight cry and they rushed her to the NICU. They told me later after they stabilized her how her oxygen supply was cut off during delivery and they weren’t sure how long it was and if there would be any permanent damage, possibly brain damage. Luckily, after a week in the NICU my daughter was able to come home and her development has been on track, thank god!

    But my point is that these girls are so selfish and I’m tired of hearing them bitch about a labor that is 18 hours long and them needing a c section because “they don’t want it”. Boo hoo! You have a healthy baby, count your blessings. So many women have gone through the grief of having a miscarriage or a stillborn and these girls need to realize they are lucky for having a healthy baby, so what if you needed a c section. It seems there is always an excuse for them why they can’t get their GED, or why they can’t do this or that. Grow the “f” up, you’re a mother now.

  20. 20
    Jennyfer
    Posted December 10, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    update: she did the paternity test and his family didn’t wanna send it in.. also he hit her so she left him and is back in new York and HR cheated on her a lot. .also he wouldn’t of been able to go there to college anyway because it was the scholarship was only parcial and they couldn’t afford the extra 9000

  21. 21
    Van
    Posted December 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    SickOfIt, yeesh. That sounds like an ordeal and I’m happy that your baby came out of it healthy, but just because it sucked a 100x more for you doesn’t mean it sucks any less for them.

  22. 22
    sarcasatire sarcasatire
    Posted December 12, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    @Van, I was thinking the same thing. When it comes to childbirth, we only really know our own experiences. And some may be worse than others, there’s no denying that. But I don’t think there’s a woman alive who won’t complain about pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a grape.

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