24: Bauer the Builder!

24

By Dogsnaxx | | 2:08 pm | 5 Comments

Mail-1

“We can fix it!”

Greetings Gasmii! This week, the folks on 24 learn some valuable children’s television-style lessons such as the value of sharing, making new friends, telling the truth, and being fair! There’s also a lot of build-up toward our final showdown with the Big Baddies at Starkwood!

Follow me as I recap it for you…after the jump!

It’s 9PM in the Kennedy Hospital parking garage, and Jack is making his escape after the botched “interrogation” of Ryan Burnett. As the DC police swarm to the hospital, Jack decides to add a little “grand theft auto” to the list of infractions he’s wanted for today. He notices a sweet looking vintage ride complete with Mac laptop in the passenger seat. He smashes the back window of the car, unlocks the front door, hot wires the ignition, and is soon on his merry way. I doubt the owner of said vehicle will be too upset. After all: Sharing is Caring!

sharingiscaring

“You like that popsicle? Good! After our play date, I’m taking your tricycle and Webkinz stuff. You probably won’t get it back, but it’s for a good cause! I don’t have a choice!”
At FBI HQ, Morris has arrived to pick up his wifey Chloe. Unfortunately, he has to deal with the brick wall of stall and sarcasm that is Plum Puddin’ Janis. Morris is angry and demanding to know why nobody will tell him where his wife is. Janis tries to dodge the question bringing up the “White House attack” thing and how that’s got everybody otherwise occupied. Morris insists he needs to know where Chloe is for precisely that reason and make sure she’s safe. Janis has no choice but to inform Morris that his wife is indeed “safe.” And by safe, she means Chloe has been arrested and is being detained in a holding room. Morris understandably wants to know more about that, but Janis has already shared more than she should and tells him to wait in the conference room until Larry returns.

Mail

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Janis. Why do you have to rub my face in the fact that my arch-nemesis is married and I’m all alone? Also, please help me grow. You know where!”

Meanwhile, Renee is being walked through the details of her suspension, and signing some paperwork. Zombie Spice is barely paying attention, however, because she is distracted by eyeing Janis suspiciously as Plum Puddin’ has a little phone chat with Renee’s ex boyfriend Larry Moss.

Larry updates Janis on the whole “Ryan Burnett: Dead, Jack Bauer: MIA” business. He tells her it’s the Bureau’s responsibility and he is taking the lead on getting Bauer back and is on his way back to HQ. Also, the producers toss in a little somethin’ for the ladies by having Larry walk into a wind machine while wearing dress pants.

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A-Tisket, A-Tasket, It’s Larry’s Little Basket!

No sooner has Janis hung up than Renee comes running up to find out what happened with the interrogation, and if Larry said he misses her. Janis tells her she’s suspended and therefore can’t be told anything. Renee pulls the “but this was my investigation” thing and wants to at least know if Burnett spilled any worthwhile beans. Janis tells Renee about the death and Jack’s disappearance. Plum Puddin’ is spilling sensitive information left and right…first Morris, now Renee!

backoff

“Just to clarify…the ‘share and share alike’ thing does NOT apply to ex boyfriends. Back off Puddin’ Larry’s basket is mine!”

In his little stolen getaway car, Jack the multitasker is driving through city traffic while perusing the security DVD he bootlegged at the end of the last episode. That’s dangerous Jack! Anyhoo, Jack finds a still of the evil Dr. Quinn on the DVD and says “gotcha!” Jack uses his handy dandy sprint mobile uplink thingy and logs into a program called “Secure Anonymous Email.” He also picks up his phone and dials Renee. JEEZ. DVD browsing, web surfing, chit-chatting, AND driving. So irresponsible!

eyesontheroad

Eyes on the road, Jack!

Jack tells Renee not to hang up on him, and then about how Bill was right regarding the whole “high level conspiracy” we haven’t yet uncovered business and that he needs her help. Renee is still a Bauer Believer, but she’s suspended so doesn’t think she’ll be able to offer much help. Jack tells her all he needs is an ID on the still image of Dr. Quinn, the man who actually did the Burnett-killing deed. So far, Quinn is their only link to the conspiracy, so they need to find him! While Jack goes on and on, asking for her help, but Renee just sits silently. Finally, Jack passive-aggressively says “You know what? Nevermind. I made a mistake. Sorry for asking.” The guilt trip works! Renee tells him she’ll call him back at the stolen cell phone number. Jack must’ve grown up Catholic. He knows what he’s doing!

guilttrip

“You know what? It’s fine if you don’t want to help me save the world. Jesus forgives. He’ll certainly absolve you of letting thousands of innocent people die, but I wager you’ll be spending a lot more time on your knees in the future. And by that, I mean saying a bajillion ‘Hail Marys’…not the ‘fun’ kind of time on your knees! Good luck with that.”

As Renee gets to work using some handy-dandy face recognition software in her laptop, we cut to Dr. Quinn motoring along and monitoring law enforcement chatter. Upon hearing that Bauer has escaped, he calls Jonas Hodges to deliver the news. Hodges wants to know how that little screw up could have happened, and Dr. Quinn states the obvious that Jack is an extremely impressive operative. Hodges already knows this, so calmly tells Quinn to keep him apprised. Because Hodges is an extremely important man who never pushes his own button. Greg Seaton reaches across the desk and hangs up for him.

urinal

“Please don’t let him ask me to ‘shake him off’ at the urinal again. I still have nightmares.”

The two baddies kvetch a little about this little snag and how being linked to Juma by Bauer would severely impede their plan of killing a whole mess of people. Hodges, ever the calm one, says that as long as the shipment is on time and ready to be deployed, it doesn’t matter if they are linked or not. Seaton looks a little conflicted about the “deployment of weapons” thing and Hodges loses his cool for the first time, ripping into Seaton about how he doesn’t like the idea of killing anybody and how the loss of even “one soul” is tragic. However, every war worth fighting involves “collateral damage” and they are supposedly fighting for some righteous cause (according to them). The chastised Seaton simply says “Yes, Sir.” Hodges tells him to gather all of their colleagues and tell them to pack their tooth brushes and PJs for a “long night.” Yay! Slumber Party! Why do I get the sense this won’t be the fun “underwear in the freezer” kind of Slumber Party, though?

massacre

I’m not ashamed to say I’ve seen this movie several times. Sorority House Massacre had a better plot. I’m dead serious. And yes, the pun was intentional. See how clever I am?

Meanwhile, Renee has her ID of John Quinn and calls Bauer back to let him know the dude is a black ops vet with tours of duty all over the world. Now, however, he works for Starkwood. Jack asks “The defense consulting firm?” Renee tells him that they used to be, but have since morphed into basically a private army with billion dollar contracts from the pentagon and “manpower” deployed all over the world. Jack wonders aloud if there’s a connection to Juma there, and Renee tells him one man that would know is Ol’ Senator Pansy Pants Dick-Head Red Forman Mayer, himself. In addition to being a torture party pooper, he was also looking into Starkwood’s affairs and has enough to put them out of business. Jack tells Renee to get him Mayer’s location so he can find the old coot himself and get to the bottom of this. She’s on it!

Outside, Larry arrives and while Janis chatters away at him from her work station, he makes a bee-line for Renee’s office. Renee has just finished sending an encrypted email to “THEMOUX” when Larry walks in. The ‘mo? Is Jack tip-toeing out of the closet? Wow! Anyhoo, Jack wants to know if Renee knows about the hospital, and she does. She asks him if he really thinks Bauer could have done it, and Larry doesn’t know. All he knows is Jack is a fugitive and needs to be caught! Renee tells Larry she doesn’t think Jack is responsible, and then her email beeps because the file went through and she starts fidgeting and avoiding eye contact. Larry tells her to go home and get some sleep.

themoux

“Dear Jack, I don’t understand what you want from me. I’ve been throwing myself at you for the past 13 hours. Do you think I’m ugly, or something? What is going on?! Also, here’s the information you requested. I Love you! Renee”

As Renee starts packing up, Larry moseys out to the floor and catches up with Janis. Larry is looking kind of distracted while Janis tells him about Morris in the conference room. Larry could give a shit about Morris, he’s got a sneaking intuition that Renee talked to Bauer. Janis wants to know how he can be sure, and balks at explaining the intricacies of intuitive bonds that occur in relationships (which Cat Lady Janis would never understand anyway). Instead, Larry orders Janis to look at Renee’s phone logs and access her work station to find out what the naughty minx has been up to. Janis says “OK”, and we cut to break.

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The Zombie Whisperer

In the Oval Office, Olivia and Ma Taylor are hanging out and admiring each other’s snazzy change of wardrobe. Olivia watches TV while the Prez works on her address to the nation with speech writer Angela. She dismisses Angela, telling her she’ll let her know when she’s finished. Olivia has a little suggestion for the speech. Instead of just reassuring the people that the terrorist threat is over, why not claim victory as well in Sangala and over the terrorists. Madame Prez isn’t quite convinced they should be crowing during such a somber occasion because a lot of lives were lost. Olivia is all: That’s just it! Those people are heroes who died for their country. Madame Prez smiles and tells her they’ll work it in.

ladyinred

I’ve never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight

I’ve never seen you shine so bright

Just then, Ethan Kanin comes in with news of his big screw up! He asks to speak to the President alone, as Olivia is sitting there shooting daggers with her eyes. The Prez sides with her daughter and says he can speak freely in front of her. Kanin tells her about Bauer’s belief there were conspirators at large and his request to interrogate Burnett again. He goes on spilling the details in painfully slow fashion…kinda like a little boy who needs to fess up, but wants Mommy to know it’s everyone else’s fault and not his. The whole time Prez Taylor growls and interjects angrily. He tells her the interrogation was supposed to be secure, but it turned out differently. Burnett is dead, Bauer (who appears to be the culprit) is MIA, and they didn’t get any useful intel at all. Kanin shadily suggests the whole thing was a fabrication on Bauer’s part, perhaps a revenge ploy because of Bill Buchanana’s death? He goes on to explain how he insulated the President and didn’t tell her so she would have deniability and he could take the fall. Olivia pipes in with the Larry Moss attitude that he kept quiet because he knew the President would have said no. Prez Taylor shuts her up with a stern “O-Liv-ia!” and asks Ethan where Bauer is now. Kanin informs her he’s still at large but the FBI has devoted all of their resources to finding him. She wants to be notified as soon as he is found. On his way out of the office, Kanin apologizes, but the Prez doesn’t respond. She gives him a stern look and goes back to her speech.

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“How can you soar like an eagle, when you are surrounded by a bunch of turkeys?”

At FBI HQ, Renee is turning in her gun and badge to the same dude she was talking to earlier. She notices Janis eye-balling her suspiciously and talking to someone on a headset, so she kinda bolts out of there. She’s immediately intercepted in the hall by a few nameless agents and Larry Moss (Just like Sean was earlier this season…Hey, what happened to old D-Bag, anyway? Isn’t he still in holding somewhere. The FBI has to be running out of holding rooms by now.)

Larry demands to know where Bauer is. Renee lies and says she doesn’t know. Larry confronts her with evidence, telling her they traced the calls she made to the phone that Bauer stole. They also know she accessed a classified database, and that she sent encoded information and an address to Bauer. She still refuses to give up Bauer, and Larry grumbles “Dammit!” He reminds her that helping Bauer makes her an accessory after the fact, but she doesn’t care. She believes Bauer and thinks he’s following up on an important lead. Furthermore, she understands why Bauer doesn’t want to cooperate with Larry and Co. because of “everything they put him through today.” Larry is heartbroken, but tries one more ploy…they are already decoding the intel anyway…so all she has to do is cooperate and he’ll put in a good word with the AG. Renee still refuses, so Larry has her arrested and sent to holding! He doesn’t look too happy about it, though.

sadlarry

A rare combination of Larry’s “grumbly growly face” and his “shocked and disappointed in Zombie Spice face”!

Meanwhile, Senator Mayer returns home after a long day on the Hill, being held hostage, and almost killed in the White House attack. He enters his super-swanky home and before he can start decompressing, realizes that something is fishy in his home office. The computer is on (w/ Quinn’s face on the monitor) and something is printing! Mayer enters calling out “hello?!” and picking up the phone. Just then, the office door closes revealing Jack standing behind it horror-movie style holding a gold letter opener ominously! Mayer looks ready to shit his pants, and Bauer tells him to sit down and keep his hands where Jack can see them. Mayer tells him he knows about Burnett, and he’s not going to sit…if Bauer wants to kill him, he’ll have to do it where he stands. Jack tells the Senator that he didn’t kill Burnett and shows him the picture of Quinn, fingering him as the culprit. Pansy Pants doesn’t recognize Quinn, so Bauer tells him he worked for Starkwood.

behind you!

Behind you, Dick Head!

Jack goes on to explain his unfounded theory that Starkwood must be behind everything today, and Mayer thinks it’s an attempt to clear his name. Jack tells him he doesn’t care about that…he wants to find the connection between Starkwood and Juma. Mayer tells him there isn’t one. He spent the last 6 months investigating Starkwood, and would have discovered it. Jack, unconvinced, asks to see all of the Senator’s files. The Senator tells him Starkwood is guilty of bribing military officials and will be put out of business, but there’s nothing to suggest a link to Sangala. Jack is still unconvinced and demands the files again. Mayer asks if he’ll turn himself in and face the music if he can’t find a link. Jack grits his teet and doesn’t respond. He just says “Just open the files, sir.” Mayer grudgingly gets busy, as we cut to break!

When we return, the Prez is getting ready to give her prepared remarks in a Press Conference while the speech writer lady Angela tells the reporters there will be no follow up questions due to the events of the day. Olivia wishes her Mama luck, and as she takes the stage, the press interrupts into raucous applause. Somewhere, GW Bush is totally jealous. If he held a press conference and ordered no questions after, he would have been booed and hissed off the stage!

shoethrower

Not a single shoe-thrower in this bunch!

The President begins her remarks with a little anecdote about how John Adams prayed for blessings to be bestowed on the White House when he moved in. She cites those blessings as the reason they prevailed today and totally leaves out the part about Jack Bauer! Jack Bauer is a blessing from Heaven, dammit! Give credit where it’s due.

In the back of the Press Room, Kanin is ambushed by a nosy little leg humper of a reporter named Ken Dellao from CNB. Homeboy gets all UP in Kanin’s space and confronts him about confirming some information. He tells Kanin he’s going to report that a rogue ex agent named Jack Bauer killed a federal suspect. Kanin pulls him into the hall and demands to know where he got the information, and the camera cuts ever so briefly to Olivia (sly!)…the reporter says “so it’s true, then?” And Kanin says he won’t confirm anything. The reporter goes on: I’m also going to report that you authorized Bauer’s release from custody. Kanin gives the leg humper a little “f*ck you” grin, heads back into the press room, and pretends to pay attention to the Prez. The little reporter, however, nips at his heels. Kanin reiterates his “no comment” and walks toward Olivia.

leg humper

“Ken, please tell me that’s your tape recorder poking my thigh!”

Olivia smirks at Kanin and turns back to her mother who is delivering the Olivia-suggested portion of the speech claiming victory. Kanin whispers “I see you are up to your old tricks” and accuses her of leaking the Bauer/Burnett story. She claims ignorance and walks away. Kanin follows her, obviously unconvinced and says only a few people knew he authorized the release, and she was one of them! She gets pissy pants and tells him it’s not her fault that another of his mistakes has bit him in the ass. He gets really mad and tells her she’s gone too far, that this will do severe political damage to her mother who is on the record as strictly anti-torture…and it’ll look like the administration was behind it. Olivia tells him she’s not listening anymore and turns to walk away (She doesn’t exactly put her fingers in her ears and sing “La La La!”…but it’s roughly the same reaction). Kanin gets aggressive and grabs her shoulders, telling her she’s gone too far! Oliva sneers “get your hands off me!”

likeethics

“Like, Omigod! I can’t believe they care about, like, ethics and stuff. Laaaame!”

The President, unaware, finishes her speech telling American’s it’s all over…sleep soundly…and be glad for the blessings of freedom or some such stuff. Too bad it ain’t actually over!

Back at FBI HQ, Larry is spewing some Bauer-tracking business into his phone while Janis comes and leans in his doorway. He hangs up, and she tells him that she isolated the data Renee sent to Bauer, but can’t get past the header. Larry, the techno-illiterate, wants to know what that means. Janis tells him it means they need someone higher-level and more skilled to get at it. Someone like Chloe would be good, but she’s too loyal to Bauer. A little light-bulb goes off over Larry’s head, and now he’s finally ready to go greet Morris, you know…that OTHER level 6 analyst who’s been stewing in the conference room for a half hour?

technobabble

That’s so funny! Larry and I tend to get the same expression on our faces whenever a “tech-savvy” character goes into one of their long-winded, yet somehow totally nonsensical “explanations”!

Meanwhile, Morris is on the phone with someone telling them he doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be away and please give little Prescott his “Babu” before bedtime. I’d never heard that term, nor could I find a definition on the web…but according to my Google image search, this dude will be tucked in with little Prescott tonight.

Clemson University Professor S.V. Babu

Cbabu

Far be it from me to judge someone else’s parenting abilities…but I can’t help wondering what snuggling up to this every night as a child would have done to my personality. I’m guessing strange things?

Larry comes into the conference room with Janis in tow, introduces himself, and extends the glad hand of friendship which Morris ignores. He demands to see Chloe, so Larry pulls up surveillance on the monitor showing her in holding. Morris is all: What’s up with that? And Larry is all: She interfered and tampered with evidence. Larry also casually suggests Morris can help Chloe out by helping them nab Bauer. Morris is slightly confused, since Bauer was supposed to be helping the FBI last he heard. Janis gives a hilarious “Oh my God, We suck” expression when he says that. Anyhoo, Larry tells Morris that Jack “snapped” and murdered a witness and that Chloe will be brought down with Jack.

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“Oops! I pooted. I hope there’s another pair of purple leggings in the nurse’s office!”

Janis steps in and tells Morris that an Agent sent information to Jack that was encoded with Blowfish 148, and they can’t crack it. She asks him to “please” help them. He says he can’t due to his wife’s long history with Jack. He considers him a friend. Larry says he’ll have his day in court, and that the case against Chloe is “rock solid”. She’s looking at 15 years in prison, which means little Prescott will be 19 and look a lot more like Professor Babu when she gets out. Morris rubs his flavor saver and ponders the implications. Morris plays a little hard ball and asks for a guarantee of full immunity and no mention on her record. Larry gives his word, and Janis agrees to be the witness.

Morris says “show me the file”. He asks Janis a few techno-babble questions while he starts keying away confidently. He says this is all easy peasy if you know the access codes. Larry asks if he knows them, and he says “yes.” Larry asks a few more questions, while Morris answers sarcastically. Larry: “Can you tell me Specifically when you’ll have it decrypted?” Morris: “Yes…now”. Morris is the most recent string of characters to show how far up it’s ass the FBI’s head is! Anyhoo, Morris informs them that Renee sent the home address of Senator Blaine Mayer. Larry and Janis scramble to let everyone know they have a probably location on Bauer and have Metro PD sent! Morris stares into space and we cut to break.

ghost of chloe

Look! It’s the holy trinity of 24 tech geeks all on screen at the same time!

When we return, the FBI is getting ready to skedaddle. Janis intercepts Larry in the hall and tells him they can’t reach Mayer and that the phone lines are scrambled from the inside. Larry’s response: “Yeah, that’s Bauer!” Haha. Janis wonders aloud why Bauer is doing this, and Larry hypothesizes that it’s because Mayer has spent the last six months trying to send Jack to prison for the rest of his life. He greets a seriously rag-tag group of agents and tells them that Jack has the skillz that pay the billz and more training than anyone in the room, including him! They need to be careful!

SWAT

Larry took a page from Marlo Thomas’ Free To Be You and Me when he assembled his SWAT team: There’s the black one, the short one, the tall over-eager one, the one with a vagina, and the elderly one. Nice job including everyone, Larry!

Meanwhile, Chloe is escorted to the conference room and immediately jumps down Morris’ throat for helping the Feds get to Jack. Morris tells her he did it for her, and she says it’s the last thing she would have wanted…why!? He tells her he wanted to spare Prescott the whole “My Mommy’s in jail” thing. She grumbles that Jack saved Morris’ life, and Morris tells he had to put his family/marriage first. Chloe scoffs. Morris tells her she’s helped Jack enough and can’t make decisions like that on her own anymore. She, of course, argues that Jack didn’t do what they say he did…and Morris says “then let him prove it in court!” Chloe eyes the storm troopers moving out and worries Jack will never get the chance for a day in court. Morris kinda fondles his beard, realizing his wife is super pissed, and wonders if he’ll ever get laid again.

nobabu

Look on the bright side, Morris! No more sex with your wife means no more children…which in turn means no more Professor Babus!

Back at the Senator’s mansion, Jack is working away. Not content to let Jack work, Mayer interrupts and wants to talk about feelings! He says that Jack mentioned at the hearing that he had no regrets, but it looked like he was full of regret. Jack goes into a little mini-monologue about how he regrets losing his family in the line of duty (wife dead, daughter hates him)…he also regrets that the people around him might be deemed expendable. He regrets the loss of any innocent life. But most of all, he regrets that the world even needs people like him. He also regrets a few fashion choices made in the 70′s, but that’s neither here nor there. The Senator asks Jack if he thinks he’s naive to believe in a higher standard of conduct. Jack says it’s irrelevant…just that the Senator should know that “where I work, things get a lot messier than on the hill.” Haha.

tryingtowork

“Senator, I’m trying to work. Could we maybe have this deeply personal and philosophical debate at a later time…say, AFTER I’ve saved the world?”

Mayer goes into paternal mode and tells Jack his losses are all sorts of tragic, but pontificates about how sometimes the loss of innocent life upholding ideals is necessary. Blah Blah, let’s be the pansy-pants shining beacon of freedom and high ideals. jack smirks and says he makes it sound simple, the Senator says “maybe it is.”

Just then, Jack manages to find something interesting (so I guess he wasn’t all that distracted). A Starkwood whistle blower was killed in a car accident, and Dr. Quinn was on the scene…meaning Starkwood probably shut him up to keep him from spilling the beans ALA Burnett. The senator: suddenly interested! He tells Jack the whistle blower made claims about bribing pentagon officials, assassination attempts world-wide, and Starkwood trying to obtain their own WMDs! Jack looks at the whistle-blowers interview transcripts, alleging Starkwood was looking for a bio-weapon, and connects the dots! Juma had used a bio-weapon during his genocidal rampage and taken out whole villages. Starkwood must’ve partnered w/ the Juma regime to test their stuff! The Senator is skeptical, but ultimately comes around! He and Jack are suddenly partners and buddies!

letsbeefriends

A new bromance blossoms!

Just then, a knock on the front door! A man identifying himself as “metro PD” demands they open up. Jack gets into defensive mode, but Mayer appeals to him. He is now a Bauer believer and it’s obvious Jack is onto something. However, he wants Jack to deal with the authorities and tell them what’s up. Jack, being wanted for Burnett’s murder and having lived through seasons 1-6, is skeptical. But the Senator assures him he has the authority and clout to demand the cops and Feds help him out and tells Jack it’s time to start trusting in the authority and institutions he’s sacrificed so much trying to protect. Jack asks Senator Mayer if he really thinks he can do this. The Senator says “son, I know I can.” Jack, hearing the sound of angels calling from heaven and happy children living in peace all over the world, agrees to stop being such a pessimist. The Senator answers the door, and it’s Dr. Quinn! Oh no! He shoots the Senator dead dead dead…which would have been welcome in the last episode, but stings now that he and Jack are besties!

shortestbromance

Shortest. 24. Bromance. Ever!

Jack screams “No!” Quinn comes into the house and Jack exits via a glass veranda door without bothering to open it first. Quinn follows and we are treated to a chase sequence in a residential neighborhood with Jack running away and Quinn chasing with a semi-automatic weapon whilst hiding from the swarming police cars that are soon to arrive at the Senator’s place.

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Just Sayin’!

Back in the White House, Olivia is called into the principal’s Oval Office. Her Mom is sitting there with Ethan standing next to her sternly. Madame Prez says Ethan just presented her with something “disturbing.” Olivia’s all: Oh, you mean the Bauer leak business? The Prez confronts her with Ethan thinking she’s the leak, and Olivia asks her Mom “What do YOU think?” The Prez, given Olivia’s track record, wants to hear what she has to say. Olivia goes into full-on smug bitch mode and says she spoke to a segment producer at CNB who will confirm the leak came from the US Marshall’s office and not from her. Notice, she didn’t say the leak didn’t come from me…she said I’ve got some dude at CNB who will claim it didn’t. Ethan is skeptical. Olivia gets a pissy look on her face and hands him the card of Charlie Isakson at CNB, telling him to call and confirm it herself. She goes on to tell Mama that in exchange for an exclusive interview with the Prez, she got CNB to kill the story.

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“Why am I such a bratty pain in the ass? Hmm…let me think about that and get back to you.”

The Prez, filled with a Mama’s pride for her ball-busting daughter is satisfied. She asks Ethan if he is, as well? He says yes, but his expression betrays otherwise. He apologizes to Olivia for misjudging the situation and her as a person. She smugly smiles at him like a smugly smiling bitch.

Madame Prez tells Ethan she wants him to keep appraised of the Bauer situation and update her before dismissing him. When he leaves, she apologizes to Olivia (Mama’s wrapped around her baby’s little finger)! Olivia insincerely says it’s all OK…she just hopes they find Bauer soon, too!

Speaking of Jack, he’s still running for his life from Dr. Psycho Quinn. He find a construction site and scales the fence using his suit jacket to lessen the barbed wire sting.

Meanwhile, Quinn picks up a trail of Jack’s blood and follows it straight to the fence Jack just jumped. Rather than scale the fence like Jack, he shoots the lock and enters the site! He goes into an office trailer and starts shooting the heck out of it and looking around…but no Jack.

shazam

Shazam!

From outside, we hear the sounds of an ignition while Quinn looks concerned! It’s totally freakin’ Jack in a frickin’ bulldozer, which he uses to upend the trailer! Whoa!

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Bauer the Builder!

As Quinn exits through a window that is now on the “roof” of the trailer, Jack jumps him from the shovel of the bulldozer and they fight as only two ex-special-forces types can! Lots of chops, leg moves, leaps, “arghs!”, etc. Just when it looks like Quinn has the upper hand, Jack finds screwdriver that he flings like a knife into Quinn’s chest, and then drives it home with a two by 4! Holy crap!

Jack flips Quinn over on his back, and tells him “you’re dying…tell me when the weapons are getting here!” Quinn tells him they are “already here” before shuffling off to the Big Baddie den in the sky. Jack pulls Quinn’s cell phone from his pocket and immediately sees a text message saying “Port of Alexandria. Yard C. 2230.” Quinn has learned nothing from the Chris Brown/Rihanna fiasco. Always delete sensitive texts! Always!

cirquedusoleil

I saw something like this at Cirque Du Soleil

We go to a split screen showing everyone…including Larry finding Senator Mayer’s body. He calls in to Janis and informs her that Bauer killed the Senator and they need to update their little APB thingy to “shoot on sight!” Janis says copy that.

Meanwhile, across town, at a romantic little curbside outdoor cafe at “3rd and B”…Tony is enjoying a latte at 10pm when he gets a call from Jack. Jack tells Tony to meet him at the Port of Alexandria with a weapons and surveillance package. Tony wants to know what’s up and keeps saying things like “wait”. But Jack says he can’t wait and that he needs Tony’s help before hanging up. He pulls the screwdriver from Quinn’s chest and uses it to start a truck at the construction site and crashes through a chain link fence!
tip

Tony’s trying to figure out what 15% of $1.75 is.

Ba-Bum-Ba-Bum-Ba-Bum-Ba-Bum!

There you have it Gasmii! I thought this week’s episode was a welcome change of pace from the all the whiz-bang action of the last few weeks. I think they are setting up the final showdown nicely, although I would’ve preferred the mystery of Starkwood’s involvement to have played out a little more slowly. What did you guys think? How about the preview for next week and the seemingly tender moment between M.Prez and Kanin?! Is that why Olivia hates him? See you next week!

About

5 Comments

  1. 1
    pixielated
    Posted March 21, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    Wow, this show is BACK! The fight between Jack and Quinn was awesome!

    This season has had more plots and more action so far than the last season did for the entire 24 episodes. The characters are great, too.

    The pres’s daughter is one scheming, hateful BITCH. Having been a lobbyist, she is probably on Swampwater’s side. I mean Starkweather. Oh, whatever. It makes me wonder what that whole weird exchange with Aaron was about.

    Thanks for the great recap, dogsnaxx.

  2. 2
    Anonymous
    Posted March 21, 2009 at 7:29 pm

    Yeah, that was a great episode! Loved the recap as usual! Your screencaps are always dead on! And a special thanks for giving me something else with which to torture my 4 year old daughter. She gets so pissed when I sing “Bauer the Builder”. lol. I about died when I saw the bulldozer or whatever it was turning over that trailer.

    I hate Olivia more each episode. I’ll see that BITCH and raise it to a See You Next Tuesday. Good lord. Even if her mom is nailing Kanin – get over it. I guess if they are bumping uglies, that would explain why Taylor didn’t go apeshit on Kanin when he ‘fessed up to what happened with Burnett.

    Too bad about Mayer too. I didn’t expect him to come around, and was disappointed to see him killed. Jack’s had people help him before, but I’ve rarely seen someone reach out like Mayer did – it’s a shame.

    I wonder how Renee is going to get out of her suspension/detainment. I can’t imagine they’ll just phase her character out at this point?

  3. 3
    jjnoza
    Posted March 21, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    Weird, Anonymous is me – jjnoza in case the name gets screwed up again when I send this. Not that it matters really, I guess.

  4. 4
    Dogsnaxx
    Posted March 21, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    @ pixielated

    Very interesting theory! I hadn’t considered a link between Ol’-Evil-ia and Starkwood. I was seeing more of a “misguided youth who will have a redemption story arc down the line when she realizes her elders brought wisdom and experience to the table” thing. Either that, or some terrorist would shut her up for good. Whichever way her story arc is going, the sooner they get there, the better! I’m tired of the smug act! Maybe Aaron will “knock” some sense into her?

    @ jjnoza

    I’ve double posted on the comments section myself…know how that goes. Incidentally, I get an email update every time someone comments on one of my posts. The email update told me you posted a comment, but it showed up as anonymous here on the site. Weird!

    The pictures and screen caps are seriously the most fun part about creating these recaps! How could you not love the faces Plum Puddin’ and everyone else make?

    Also…don’t torture your daughter with “Bauer the Builder”! Think about what the late Senator Pansy-Pants Dick Head Blaine Mayer would say about torture! Peace, love, and brotherhood! That’s the answer!

  5. 5
    jjnoza
    Posted March 22, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    Good point on the torture… Not to mention, I could wind up creating a little Olivia of my own. Aaaaah! Perish the thought!

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