This just in! TVgasm has obtained an exclusive look at the new 24 spin-off series. The show centers on the ongoing perils of Kim Bauer as she struggles to leave the world of CTU behind her. Oh Kim, you know better than that. How many beards must your father grow before you realize that you can never leave CTU behind. The world always needs the Bauers!
We have to admit, it took a while to get used to this new Kim-centered series, but at the end of the day, we really liked it. So for everyone waiting on pins and needles for the next season of 24, Christmas comes two days early…
The show opens with Kim freshly divorced from Chase and embracing her newfound independence by fronting a rock band!
Kim’s new boyfriend, Manuel. He’ll later lose a hand, a leg, and an ear.
Life is good for Kim, but she’s still tortured by memories of her mom’s death.
One day, Kim makes a terrifying discovery.
Kim’s band is actually a terrorist cell named “Weeze”!
Panicked, Kim reaches for the M&Ms…
But discovers a cyanide pill hidden inside! The band members — or should I say TERRORISTS — ARE TRYING TO KILL HER!!
Kim fights back the only way she knows how: trashing the buffet!!!
The rarely-used orange punch tactic!
But it’s too late. The bad guys have already drugged Kim with a light horse tranquilizer.
Kim’s “boyfriend” (we should have known) abducts her to a secret bunker…
Target Aspirin: the preferred drug of terrorists.
The bad guys wonder how long ’till Kim’s bear-trap arrives in the mail.
Kim miraculously fights through the Aspirin haze and charges her abductors!
The leader of the pack threatens to take Kim down with his all-powerful finger gun! A poke as strong as death itself!
“NOT THE FINGER GUN!”
Kim flees to the “star door,” but…
…behind the star door is a gas chamber. Classic Kim move.
“She’s dead,” proclaims Manuel. But for some reason, I don’t believe him…
Hours later, Kim emerges from the death trap. Manuel had secretly turned off the gas! He still loves her! But… where is everybody?
Kim hears music!
The terrorists are performing! This is her chance to escape!
A low-level guard tries to stop her, but Kim just shoves him out of the way!
Kim’s free! As she runs into the sunrise, Kim realizes that now she must start her life over. Will she ever be able to lead a normal life? We’ll have to find out next season!