Love’s A Bitch

24

By B-Side | Monday, March 20, 2006 | 11:40 pm | 31 Comments

jack_audrey3-20-06Women couldn’t do anything right on tonight’s episode of 24. They were bitchy, hard-headed, slutty, dangerous, and even, perhaps, traitorous. I guess that’s the way it always goes down in the world of 24, where the only thing worse than being a woman is, well, being dead (or on the receiving end of a mean cup of coffee). Nevertheless, the action calmed down a bit this week as the show focused more on deal-brokering and negotiations instead of the typical gunfire and casualties. That’s not to say there weren’t any bullets whizzing through the air — there were — but just not as many. In fact, I’m not sure if anyone even died this week. Crazy, right? Does that count as jumping the shark?The show opened up with the sad image of Tony’s face being cover in a cloth. Poor Tony. Poor, stupid Tony. Even the bad guy from The Incredibles knows that you don’t rant before you kill someone. You just do it. Alas, last week, Tony waited too long to kill Christopher Henderson, and as a result, he was unceremoniously slain. To be honest, I really thought that he wasn’t dead. It wasn’t until the New York Times revealed that yes, Mr. Almeida’s time had truly come to pass. You’d think with his ability to recover from bullet wounds to the neck and wife-shrapnel to the head that a little shot of torture juice would cause only some minor agita, but the big guy was dead as a doorknob, survived only by a lonely Chicago Cubs mug. The curse continues.

Before we could really soak in the momentous sight of Tony’s dead body, we then learned that somehow, Robocop had gotten away. Yes, Christopher — despite being in a coma only, I don’t know, three minutes prior had slipped out of the building and back into society. Mad props to the CTU perimeter for that one. But who cares about Christopher. We have other leads, like that hottie woman in the hotel room that we saw for two seconds last week. Her name was Colette Stenger, and her name was found on Robocop’s computer. Turns out she was staying at a hotel in town; so you know what that means. Everyone get into the CTUmobile. We’re going on a raid!

Meanwhile, over at the Oval Office West, President Pussy’s sassy redheaded press secretary was back and readying the media for Logan’s big announcement. For those of you who may have forgotten, the evil Vice President had persuaded Charles that the best plan would be to call martial law for Los Angeles. Martha, however, was not for this plan at all. It was just a ploy, she believed, to make the President look awful so that next year, the party’s nomination would go to Hal instead. Well, who the hell’s gonna listen to a crazy old bat like Martha? So what if she’s been right at every impasse? Send that bitch back to Vermont!

Charles gave his wife the “Don’t question me. I might just cry” look and headed out to his press conference where, for just one moment, it seemed like he might go off script. The cameras cut to a teleprompter, and we all know directors only show us teleprompters when someone’s about to ignore what’s actually on the teleprompter. Well, no such luck this time. Logan indeed called for a curfew that would be enforced by the military. Man, this sucks! Why does it always have to come to martial law? Martial! Martial! Martial!

Over at CTU, Bill Buchanan had his Very Concerned face on. It had been a terrible day, and it was only going to get worse. The DOD wanted a list of all CTU casualties, but Bill wasn’t going to hand the names over until all the next-of-kin had been notified. Poor Edgar. His next-of-kin died in a nuclear meltdown 18 months ago. What a family legacy. Meltdown, nerve gas — he probably has a cousin who died of Ebola while getting eaten by a crocodile. Sadly, we didn’t get to see Edgar’s lifeless corpse one last time. Perhaps the SeaWorld crane already hauled him out of the building. Somewhere a donut is weeping.

As cadavers rolled out of the building, fresh blood came in — specifically, Karen Hayes and her main gay, Miles. They were both from Homeland Security, and I’m happy to report that Miles was carrying Edgar’s lisping torch proudly. His lisp wasn’t as severe as Edgar’s, but it was there, and I welcomed it.

Anyway, Karen quickly made herself at home in Bill’s office while Miles took up that most hallowed tradition: gettin’ into it with Chloe.

“Who are you?” she asked angrily (she HATES takevoers!)

“Homeland Security,” Miles responded.

“I asked your name, not who you work for,” Chloe lashed back. Ah, classic O’Brien. Well, after a few more angry interactions, Miles stated what he was really there for: “We’re here on a priority admin directive!” Wow! A priority admin directive! That’s almost as important as a socket… or even a perimeter! This guy means business, folks.

Meanwhile, out on the road, Wayne Palmer was driving around, all shifty-eyed and nervous. He was even wearing a trench coat, and if there’s anything we know about the Palmers, it’s that bad things happen when they wear trench coats (Sherry Palmer, anyone?). Well, Wayne called up Secret Service Agent Aaron to say that he needed to give him something. Something important! Something that could only be discussed in person! Great. So I guess this means Wayne will be dying too. Or he’ll get stuck in a curfew bureaucracy. Or both.

shifty_wayne
The definition of “Shifty Eyes.”

A few scenes later, we cut to Colette Stenger getting dressed (zipping up her big boots, the preferred footwear for all 24 femme fatales). Surprisingly, she did not then kill her boyfriend (as is often the case when we see people getting dressed on 24). She let him hang out naked in bed and even said, “I’ll see you at the airport, okay? In 45 minutes.” Suuure. We’ll see how this goes awry.

Back at CTU, Bill began to sense that something was up with Karen. A little reading between the lines, and he realized that she was shutting down the place. Yup, that was the plan. Karen admitted that the plan was for “Homeland” to absorb CTU, something that truly pissed off Bill. He was so angry that I fully expected him to wipe everything off his desk and engage in Hate Sex right there. But it didn’t happen. Instead, he headed back out onto the floor where an upset Audrey said, “Bill, Homeland is being overly aggressive with their survey.” No shit, Sherlock. Another brilliant observation from Raines. Somebody should give her a cookie.

Meanwhile, Jack and Curtis had arrived at Colette’s hotel and were breaking into her room. One problem. No one was there! After gaping at an open window, the team deduced that she had headed up to the roof, and so everyone headed on up the staircase. As they neared the roof, Curtis split off to follow some hot trail. He was getting closer… and closer… and OH MY GOD! It’s CAT WOMAN!! Oh, no, never mind. It was just Colette’s boyfriend jumping down from a roof. Nevertheless, he stole Curtis’s gun, leaving the our man with nothing to do but adopt a karate stance. Like that was really going to do any good. Luckily, Jack was around to save the day. After some yelling and whatnot, we learned that the boyfriend wasn’t really a boyfriend but actually an agent with the German intelligence service. Ah, very interesting. An international twist. Unfortunately for the gang, this guy — Theo — didn’t want to reveal anything about Colette because she was too valuable to various German operations. Yeah, well, sucks for you, Theo. You’re in Jack’s domain now. Sure enough, Bauer hauled Theo back down to the hotel room for questioning… and just at that very moment, Colette arrived at Bierko’s in her stylish Lexus sports car. Just once, I’d like to see a terrorist drive a Honda.

While Colette was frisked by Bierko’s men, Audrey let Jack and Bill know that Germany was not willing to cooperate and compromise Theo’s own operation. Well, what else was Jack to do but shoo everyone out of the room and settle this man to man. Surely it was torture time! But no. Jack actually had a deal to make. In exchange for Colette, Jack would give Theo a list of every terrorist the U.S. government had been monitoring. A list they called “the wet list.” Here’s the problem with the wet list. It was highly confidential, and if Jack were to give it away, it would compromise all of CTU’s cases. But did Jack really care? Nope. Because he didn’t work for CTU anymore. This was enough for Theo, and he agreed to cooperate in exchange for some Wet-Naps. I’m sorry, I meant “wet list.”

Now all Jack needed was for Chloe to break into the NSA server and upload the list to his PDA. Unfortunately, Chloe didn’t have her key card anymore, thanks to jackass Miles who was not only totally getting in the way but was using Edgar’s work station! That’s like taking a crap on Lincoln’s grave! Well, Chloe’s keycard was located in a little box by Miles’ computer. There was no way she could get to it… unless she somehow created a diversion for Miles. Sure enough, a plucky assistant brought the jerk a cup of coffee, and Chloe suddenly saw her chance. She marched up to him and blatantly knocked the coffee onto his lap, causing him to huff, “What is wrong with you??” I thought he might bitch slap her and swivel his head, but instead, he merely walked off to the bathroom to attend to his new stains. With him out of the picture, Chloe hopped onto his computer and accessed the wet list, uploading it to Jack’s PDA in the process. She managed to hustle out of there before Miles returned, but when he got back, he somehow sensed that something was amiss. Don’t know how, but those bureaucrats can always sniff out trouble.

Well, Jack showed the list on his PDA to Theo, but then he kept the memory card for himself, saying he’d only give it over once he had Colette. And so the two as well as Curtis and his field teams headed to the Van Nuys airport where Theo was due to meet his “girlfriend.” As for Colette, she was now with Bierko, babbling on the phone. “When you receive the funds…” she said, but the way I heard it, she’d said “When you receive the fonts,” which had me thinking that maybe she was running some illicit operation involving Helvetica and Verdana. Anyway, I soon realized she was actually talking about funds, and after some money was exchanged, she gave Bierko a decryption key and some schematics. They then said adios, and Bierko ordered his cronies to torch the place. Damn, they’ll never find this dude!

Meanwhile, Wayne Palmer had finally reached the outer environs of the Presidential retreat, but he’d been stopped by a roadblock. Not to worry. The VP ominously gave the order to let him through, which could only mean bad things. By the way, we here at the TVgasm offices were really amused that the roadblock consisted of a big HUM-V… and an orange traffic cone. As if that cone were going to stop something that the Hummer simply could not. Maybe they’ll throw down some banana peels too. Or a few mouse traps.

Back at CTU, Chloe was called into the Situation Room where Karen, Bill, and Miles told her they had, well, a situation. They knew that she had hacked into the system and uploaded something to Jack’s PDA. But what? Gosh, you’d think they’d be able to figure out it was the Wet List. Don’t they keep records as to who accesses it? Anyway, everyone was all pissed at Chloe, especially when she revealed, “Jack needed the wet list.”

“WHAT?!?!???!?!” Karen yelled, her eyeballs nearly popping out. Even Bill was majorly pissed off as he yelled, “NO! NO! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!” Be careful guys. Chloe’s liable to spill coffee on you, too.

angrykaren
Arrgh!!

Well, Karen immediately called up Jack, who apparently was not a fan of turning his cell on vibrate in the middle of his operation (he was presently hiding in Theo’s back seat at the airport). Anyway, Karen yelled at Jack and said there’d be repercussions and blah blah blah, she reluctantly let him continue his operation. A few seconds after the phone call ended, Colette pulled up, and as Theo went to greet her, the CTU field teams surrounded the area. I was really hoping that Colette would kill Theo and this whole wet-list issue would then go away, but we later found out that she really had feelings for him (as he did for her). That could only lead to bad things.

Anyway, Jack apprehended Colette, and as Theo drove away with his handy-dandy memory card, he called his peeps and basically said “One wet-list, coming right up!” He then loaded the memory card into his PDA and… uh oh! Sparks! Smoke! The darned chip self-destructed! Clever, Jack! Just about this time, Jack called up Theo to apologize for duping him and offered to help recover his operation in every possible way after the crisis passed. Theo wasn’t convinced, however, and I had a bad feeling that he might go back to save his undercover lover.

Meanwhile, Colette began babbling about how she really had feelings for Theo too (which all but solidified my beliefs that he would be returning). She then said how she didn’t know anything about what she gave Bierko. All she knew was that they were schematics. She would, however, offer up the contact from whom she bought those schematics — but only if she were granted immunity. That meant a signed document that would be transmitted to her lawyers in Europe and Tripoli. How exotic!

colette_cuffs
If Salma Hayek and Mischa Barton had a love child…

Well, Karen was not crazy about this. For all she knew, this Colette woman didn’t have any worthwhile information, and they were about to let her walk Scot free. But if it was any consolation, Jack told her that the Wet List was safe — he had programmed the memory chip to self-destruct (How? I don’t know. Just let accept it and move on). Well, now Karen was pissed AGAIN, this time wanting to know why Jack hadn’t said anything before. Because he was in front of the guy he was duping, you dumb bitch! Get it together!!

Bill, of course, took this as his chance to stick it to her by saying, “CTU was hit — we’re still doing our job.” Take that, KAREN! A little told-you-so action from the big man. You know that she and Miles are soo going to Starbucks and bitching over Caramel Machiatos.

Hey, remember Wayne Palmer? Well, he was still driving up apparently the world’s longest access road. It was totally dark and empty, and wouldn’t you know it? A dark van suddenly appeared behind him. This couldn’t be good. All signs point to “Time to get run off the road!” And yup, two seconds later, that’s exactly what happened. Wayne’s car wound up tumbling down a slope, and no sooner had he crawled out of his car than men with guns were already coming after him. Luckily, there conveniently was a random tunnel nearby, and so Wayne ran down it, hopefully away from death. Eh, he’ll probably be murdered, which I would not be a fan of. We don’t need to kill off every good character. I personally was hoping he’d get on his damn cell phone, call Aaron, and just TELL him what was so important.

As the hour wound down, Colette finally received her immunity, and it was time for her to spill the beans. Surely, I expected Theo to barge in, interrupt, and ruin everything, but no. She told us her contact. Boy, did she tell us. It was someone at the DOD. Someone named… Audrey Raines. WTF???? Jack was NOT happy about that! He did his standard hand-around-the-neck bit and banged Colette’s head against the wall. You best not be joking, bitch! But she wasn’t. Audrey was her contact, and with that, we got the ticking clock.

Could it be? Jack screwed over by a lover again? Was Audrey bought out? I don’t believe it. She comes from money. She’s got ethics. She wouldn’t do that. I think someone’s framing Audrey. I think someone’s pretending to be her. But who? What do you think?

About

31 Comments

  1. 1
    Firecat
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 12:00 am

    WoW…So many things to say (Against my better judgement, I watched the preview for next week….LOL, gonna be funny).

    1.) That immunity chick is hot. So So hot.
    2.) Audrey being guilty would be sweet. But it might be a case of somebody using her identity, claiming to be her.
    3.) I’ve approved of a lot of things Jack has done (including shooting hendersons wife in the leg). However, what he did to the German intelligence guy was dirty, I didn’t like that (and it’s not because i’m told i kinda look like the guy lol). I really felt bad for him, and his hot terrorist girlfriend.

  2. 2
    pikepike
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 12:39 am

    Speaking of the NYTimes, that huge graphic and article about dead Tony was on the front page of last Tuesday’s Arts section- was I the only one who put off watching 24 for a day only to be delivered the Spoiler of All Spoilers by that bitch writer? No wonder people like blogs better.

  3. 3
    joyfulchicken
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 1:51 am

    Holy crap! Audrey Raines is what!? Never saw that coming. The next episode is gonna be fun whether she turns out to be innocent or not.

    And I agree with Firecat’s comment except for the 3rd point. I didn’t feel bad for the German dude at all. Fire coming out of the PDA… that was hilarious.

  4. 4
    mtrox
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 4:10 am

    Who is impersonating Audrey Raines? It has to be Vice President Hal Gardner in drag.

  5. 5
    RealityTV4Me
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 5:36 am

    I think Audrey was set up, too. But I am looking forward to a little Audrey torture next week. I think Jack ought to just stick with hookers. This love life of his just isn’t working out.

    And for those who thought the Russian girl was going to factor in on a huge plot, she did make a cameo last night. Did you catch her in that first commercial? Weird, huh?

    And how about the reappearance of Abruzzi on PB. Not what I expected to see on the premiere night of the return of PB. Abruzzi in a bright white suit hawking V-dubs. Ewwwwww!!!

  6. 6
    JohnGalt
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 6:10 am

    Not sure how Audrey could have gotten away with all this, especially since there was a good probability she would have died at CTU in the VX gas attack. It would be silly for Bierko to kill off the source of intel for the big attack.
    Also, I loved the fact that the German dude was Desmond from “Lost.”

  7. 7
    AJ
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 6:30 am

    pikepike, I too read that spoiler in the NY Times and am still bitter about it!

    Aaron the Secret Service guy is getting a pretty big part this season. That can only mean one thing: Death by the end of the season.

  8. 8
    BigTeebo
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 6:40 am

    I had no idea Felicity Huffman joined the cast of 24. Wow, they have her and Desmond from 24. Everyone’s on this show!

  9. 9
    megan
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 6:40 am

    Maybe after a little Jack torturing it’ll come out that Audrey exchanged the information to save him in some way…he was going to die, blah blah she gave info to save him when he was unaware of danger blah blah… and Jack can’t tell on Audrey cuz it would indite him in some way…
    pulling that from my ass but it would make things interesting!

    Desmond is foxy and Mischa Barton in 10 yrs doesn’t look so bad

  10. 10
    cruella_deville
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 8:00 am

    A couple things….

    Distribution center?? What? Where? Our best guess is that it is a FedEx center at LAX….when your centox absolutely, positively has to be there overnight….

    Where in Staples do you find the self-destructing memory cards?

    I FORGOT that was Desmond!!! That’s great! And, who noticed the look of Death that Chloe gave Miles when he even DARED mention Edgar’s name? He is not fit to lick the Krispy Kreme krumbs from Edgar’s boots!!!!

    Finally…..RUN WAYNE RUN

  11. 11
    dumbanddumber
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 8:13 am

    OK, so I guess that Tony really is dead. RIP; I’ll raise a toast in my metaphorical Cubs mug in memory of Almeida.

    The relevation that Audrey might be the mole was a jaw-dropper for me. I don’t know if I’ll buy it if it’s true; she doesn’t seem nearly clever enough, and there’s been nothing in her activities to raise suspiscions.

    And why do I have a feeling that last night wasn’t the first time that some food product has been spilled at Edgar’s station?

  12. 12
    Court_Love
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 8:33 am

    cruella_deville (#10):

    I was thinking the exact same thing about exploding memory cards. And Jack just happened to have one on him.

    I was oddly attracted to Mr. German intelligence, but sadly I don’t own any femme fatale boots. There goes our white picket fence.

  13. 13
    j.packhouse
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 8:40 am

    I was also violently pissed about that NY Times article, which not only ruined my Tivo’d 24, but also my Tivo’d L Word. And I didn’t even have to read the article! One unhappy Times reader was I.

  14. 14
    pbjunkie
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 9:28 am

    Didn’t Jack tell Curtis like 3 times last night to wait in the hallway while the grown-ups talk? They need to give my man more to do if they expect him to be the new Tony.

  15. 15
    cruella_deville
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 9:53 am

    pbjunkie…absolutely he did. When Jack asked everyone to step out in the hall while he “spoke” to Theo and Curtis asked him if he was sure, I thought, “Curtis asked him that because there are too damn many lamps in this room!” I thought we were in for some more Paul Raines action!

  16. 16
    HicksPub
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 11:08 am

    Oh Jesus, now we’re going to have Audrey The Victim AGAIN…I’m just going to go ahead and throw up now to get it over with. The only saving grace in that plotline is the gentle, sweet caresses of Bauer torture.

    Oh and Wayne, when your car has been run off the road, don’t run into the drain pipe. The only thing missing from the entrance was a chase-light marquee arrow.

  17. 17
    copygodd
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 11:15 am

    martial! martial! martial!

    that’s classic. i wonder if pork chops and applesauce are on the menu at the presidential retreat?

  18. 18
    AbbyAnn
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 11:42 am

    cruella_deville and Court_Love, Jack has room for anything he needs in the hoodie. The hoodie is always prepared.

  19. 19
    brilliantmistake
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    “He was so angry that I fully expected him to wipe everything off his desk and engage in Hate Sex right there.” Very funny.

    I’m really enjoying this season. I confess, it’s usually around this point in the season where I start channel surfing during the subplots I find boring or annoying (I’m looking at you, Kim). But not this time.

    Was this episode really death free? Perhaps they felt they could coast on the CTU carnage of the previous 2 eps. Better get crackin’ next week though.

    I’m thinking Desmond/Theo will return to try and get with his terrorist honey.

  20. 20
    hoobiestank
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 2:53 pm

    Man c’mon now….the poop is getting about 24 feet deep around here. Are you telling me this thing reaches all the way to the Veep? And how can a black van (unless it belongs to the A-team) chase down Wayne Palmer in his uber sweet ride?

    Jack should just run off with the new little vixen and save me the pains of watching the rest of the season.

  21. 21
    CapoSTAT
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 3:27 pm

    Desmond!!

    it’s amazing he wasn’t recognizable in the previous episode.

    2 funny things about Theo/Desmond’s appearance in the show.

    1. he has someone at gunpoint, while a Jack is pointing a gun at him as they try to figure out the othr person’s identity.

    2. he has an object self-destruct (memory card)/short-curcuit (hatch computer) on him

    lol… Lost plot sneaking into 24!

  22. 22
    Firecat
    Posted March 21, 2006 at 3:46 pm

    I wouldn’t mind seeing jack use those lamp wires on Audrey’s nipples….like he did with her husband

  23. 23
    DelRay
    Posted March 22, 2006 at 1:57 am

    Wayney go down da hoooole.

    “See ya in another life, yeah Collie?”

  24. 24
    jack
    Posted March 22, 2006 at 5:09 am

    AAARGHHH!!!
    the perimeter breaks down yet again. i suppose it’s understandable that henderson could slip away, given that everyone in the building who wasn’t in the lockdown area was lying on the floor drooling as if they just washed down a handful of pop rocks with a tasty carbonated beverage, but i was a little surprised that jack would just instantly forget about the guy who whacked his boy tony, and that the writers would just let robocop go off the reservation for the whole hour. surely we have not seen the last of him.
    as for the shifty eyes, well, our man theo clearly perfected the technique while he was stuck on that island listening to old cass elliot and lovin’ spoonful records, chowing down on dharma peanut butter, and punching numbers into his commodore 64. you know what they say–two years in a bomb shelter, and a guy will fall for the first girl who comes walking along in spike-heeled knee-high boots. needless to say, the auto-self-destruct blackberry chip must have been invented while theo was sailing around the world. drat!! we have not the seen the last of our intrepid german spy.
    as for snazzy lexus sport cars, wasn’t wayne driving one too? which begs the question–can a finely engineered luxury sports car really be outrun by a big black molester-panel van carrying five big guys and a bunch of heavy artillery, or was wayne’s car really just a chromed-up ’94 camry?
    as for audrey, well, i suppose it’s possible that she was set up, but i’m starting to wonder if she’s not unwittingly implicated in the vast conspiracy which no doubt leads back to the sinister vice president and his evil cabal of arch-conservative types who saw ‘crash’ and decided the best way to create harmony in los angeles was to make all the white people go home by 9 pm and then give the soda-n-pop-rocks treatment to as many mexicans, iranians, and blacks as possible. remember, henderson kept moaning to jack about how he didn’t really grasp what was going on, and audrey’s daddy was appointed by the POTUS who went down in air force one last season, not president pussy, so it may be the case that the DoD is in on gardner’s scam to expose pres. pussy’s abject incompetence and then TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!

  25. 25
    TheYak
    Posted March 22, 2006 at 10:16 am

    Great recap. I discovered this site not long ago, and I’m here every Tuesday morning/afternoon, ready to read. I thoroughly enjoy it.

    I enjoyed this episode. It was interesting to see how the writers can dust off an old character (Wayne), highlight a recurring theme throughout the entire show’s run (Aaron’s loyalty to David Palmer), and basically make both characters mega-interesting in 60 minutes. The split-screen at the end was effective as well, with the screen pulling back on Wayne running for his life, while Aaron nervously checked his watch. Like many others, I like Aaron, and I am glad to see him getting a bigger role this season. Wayne was always a good hybrid of David and Sherry, but he was portrayed pretty badly in Season 3. If you watch the previews, it looks like he was able to overcome at least one gunman, so we’ll how Wayne is on the badass scale. Of course, if he bumps into Kevin Dillon out there, I may tune out.

    “He was so angry that I fully expected him to wipe everything off his desk and engage in Hate Sex right there.”

    I could actually see these two crazy kids hooking up, although I bet Bill could do much better. He had Michelle, for crying out loud. By the way, since I’m on the subject, every time I recall the chatter (another favorite 24ism) about Bill and Michelle being involved, I can’t help but think of that “old balls” joke from “Big Daddy.” I like Bill and all, but him and Michelle….I’m just glad it happened off-camera.

    This Miles guy may very well be the biggest douchebag in the entire history of 24. And when you consider that this show had Rick the kidnapper, Adam Kaufman, and Barry Landis, that’s really saying something. In fact, if Miles and Barry were in room 4 last week, I bet the mood wouldn’t have been so solemn during the ultimate sacrifice. I’m just waiting for Chloe to have to go around his back again for something, and her telling him that Streisand is in concert across town or something to distract him. This guy is just thoroughly and completely unlikable. It is weird, though, because last week Karen said that some CTU personnel were going to have some sort of PTSD and will need to be sent home….that being said, I’d expect Miles to go about things with a little more sensitivity than he has been (somehow, I suspect he’s capable of it). I mean, what’s up with his whole attitude of “Oh, let me take this dead guy’s desk…he wasn’t a friend of your’s, was he? And while I’m at it, I’ll need your keycard (like that’s something people will be ready to part with after the Samgee deal).”

    Finally, has anyone noticed the recurring theme of the possible destruction of foreign relations here? It’s almost ironic that the Chinese haven’t (apparently) found out about Jack yet, while the danger exists of collapsing relations with Russia (due to the Suvarov setup) and Germany (due to Jack’s stunt…which was low, but I did laugh).

    Like I said…great recap and comments. :)

  26. 26
    Weston
    Posted March 22, 2006 at 9:15 pm

    This was a pretty good episode, and I look forward to Jack giving Audrey the lamp wire treatment. Wayne definitely should have been able to outrun a freakin’ full size Dodge Van with is Lexus LS430. He needs to learn to drive it like he stole it. Let’s hope that Chloe breaks out her machine gun skills to handle Miles.

  27. 27
    Court_Love
    Posted March 23, 2006 at 5:07 am

    If the hoodie of inflitration and the avaitor glasses of badness got into a fight, who would win?

  28. 28
    erms
    Posted March 23, 2006 at 7:59 am

    What? No screenshot of Desmond (from Lost)??? Come on!!

  29. 29
    Deb
    Posted March 23, 2006 at 9:23 am

    Soooooooo…. Audrey fills Jack in on Colette, knowing it would lead right back to her? I don’t buy it. And wouldn’t this occur to Jack as well?

  30. 30
    Delance
    Posted March 23, 2006 at 9:32 pm

    Audrey tells Jack about Collete, but we never actually see Chloe decoding any files. Did she really?

    Either Audrey tipped CTU about collet, or to the very least knew CTU was about to aquire her – she breaks the news to Jack – and was aware she would be exposed. If she’s a traitor, she’s very, very dumb. Anyone else would be freaking out and trying to leave the place.

    Besides, we know DOD is into the plot because Nathansons memory card had a DOD encryption, and Chloe had to open a socked to Audrey to decode it. So, who’s into it? She or Secretary Heller?

  31. 31
    DickeyD
    Posted March 24, 2006 at 6:19 pm

    Okay, let me just say, when I heard Audrey Raines name come from Colette on Monday, I jumped for joy. I predicted that she was a traitor/mole since episode 2 of this season. Like, when that happened I told everyone I knew that I was right, even if they didn’t watch the show… I’ve never been right with 24 before lol. Why did I think she traited? Well you guys probably don’t care… but I’m telling you anyway.

    Last season, Audrey was upset that Jack died, obviously. Even moreso, she was upset at her government because they killed Jack to cover up bad ties with the Chinese. She was so upset that she used her inside-ness at DOD to help terrorists get back at the government. Well, this was all until she realized that Jack didn’t die. When she found that out, she devoted her day to helping CTU stop the terrorist attack, but for good reason not wanting to expose herself as an accomplise.

    Well that’s my theory… if I’m right I’m going to brag some more… yet I’m just happy with this.

    And if I’m wrong… I dunno, you guys can throw balogna at me.

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