Hope all you east coasters are doing okay after that whore Sandy came through and had her way with us. I’m in NYC and it’s crazy around here. Sorry that this is late and will be shorter than usual. I work in news and I’ve had to do actual work this week. F you, Sandy!
Previously: Henry saved his boss from a bullet. Alexis stalked Brian. Jane looked into the Drake’s sinister™ past. Jane and Henry had an infestation of ghost brats and smoke men.
Henry has become a minor celebrity since saving Commissioner Pike’s life and is even doing interviews on local TV. He is approached by a sexy Los Angeles “media consultant” named Laurel who wants to turn his fifteen minutes of fame into a lifetime of fame. She agrees with the TV interviewer that Henry is too modest and also that his story would be more compelling if he were single. She stalks Henry at the Drake Halloween party and interrogates about why he and Jane aren’t married. It turns out that Jane is the one with cold feet.
Louise has made a new friend in the building – a sexy doctor named Scott. He’s been examining her because she’s still supposedly in pain from the elevator attack but it’s really just a ruse to get prescription meds. Brian is upset because he thinks they are fooling around. His suspicions are exacerbated when Alexis steals the doctor’s cell phone while they’re making out at the Halloween party and sends a fake text purportedly from the doctor to Louise’s phone.
Winky, winky, I need a drinky
Louise and Dr. Sexy get stuck in the elevator during a masked-madmen induced power outage and Louise freaks out because a) she still thinks the elevator is trying to kill her and b) she’s jonesing for some pills. She confesses to Dr. Sexy that she used to be a club kid hooked on speed but she went to rehab and got clean and Brian knows nothing about it. She tells Dr. Sexy that she realizes now that’s she’s relapsing not just because the elevator has it in for her, but because her life is not perfect and she’s self-medicating. Dr. Sexy says he understands and he’s always there for her if she wants to “talk.” Then he makes a pass at her and Louise says he’s more screwed up than she is. They are finally rescued, but Brian has found the fake text and still thinks they are having an affair. He punches Dr. Sexy in the face.
Meanwhile, Brian and Alexis have come to an understanding – he tells her he’s sorry he kissed her that time and she promises not to walk in on him while he’s naked anymore. She even gives him back the keys to his apartment. Of course, she is still a crazy beyotch and it’s clear from the way she intensely stares at him that Brian’s Alexis troubles are NOT over.