Rudie, The Reindeer Who Goes Down… In History

Recaps

By O. Snapp | Sunday, December 23, 2012 | 10:00 am | 11 Comments
Posted in: Christmas Specials, Featured, Recaps

The other elves look on, and at least one of them is really enjoying this display of office harassment. Maybe a little too much.

121607_9slaphimlikebadboy.jpg

 

 

 

“Oh yeah…. now slap him like the bad little boy that he is…”

 

 

 

 

Gay Emo Kid admits that toys just don’t turn him on that much. That’s fine, honey, sometimes all you need is a good imagination and two strong fingers. Alchie Abusive Elf flips out and ridicules him in front of all the other elves, who you just KNOW have been waiting for any excuse to make fun of that homo.

But wait, it gets better. Turns out that Hermie would rather be a dentist. Call me crazy, but I’m positive that I’ve never heard of anyone dreaming of practicing dentistry. Dreaming about the money from dentistry, maybe, but never fantasizing about decades of competent molar removal. They couldn’t think of something more fitting, like… I dunno, ice dancing? Well, whatever paints your wagon. As the other elves take a smoke break, Emo Dentist buries his tears in his dentistry textbook and follows it up with a song. We get it, we get it. I won’t try to fix you up with any of my girlfriends or anything, okay?

Meanwhile, in a cave across town, FemDeer stands docilely by while Donner continues to deny Rudie’s inner beauty and tries to make him into something he’s not. He brusquely informs the little one that self-respect is more important than comfort. Tell that to Michael Moore.

121607_33moore2.jpg

 

 

 

The tie doesn’t solve the problem, man.

 

 

 

 

Time flies, and before you know it it’s next April, and all the young bucks ‘n’ does are flirting while they wait for their chance to impress Coach Santa. Rudie wears his pile-o-mud muzzle and instantly makes a friend, whose name is Fireball (which, coincidentally, may have been a more apt name for Rudolph himself).

Inside the castle, the elves are singing a song for Santa, music and lyrics written by Abusive Alchie.

121607_10antarticharmonic.jpg

 

 

 

Antarctic Harmonic

 

 

 

 

Looks like Hermie isn’t the only one who had to give up a silly dream to be an elf. Santa, however, is unimpressed, slumping in his seat, rolling his eyes and rubbing his temples.

121607_11ineedadvil.jpg

 

 

 

“Damn, I shouldn’t have had that last martini last night.”

 

 

 

 

Abusive Alchie Elf blames the tenor section for sucking, who then blame Gay Dentist for not showing. It’s a blamefest, and we’re all invited! It wouldn’t be Christmas without one. Gay Emo Kid is in the work room, role-playing with dollies when, true to form, Abusive Alchie Elf storms in and tells Hermie he’ll never fit in. Doesn’t he want to learn the important things, like how to wiggle his ears and chuckle warmly? Guess not.

121607_12hammerdonthurtem.jpg

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
About

11 Comments

  1. 1
    RLR123
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 7:44 am

    This was the funniest recap I have ever read. I had to stop and compose myself at least 4 times since I am working. Very funny, thanks for the entertainment!

  2. 2
    lexxi1129
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 9:02 am

    OMG! I will never look at Rudolph the same again – so funny!

    Thanks for making my day, O.Snapp!

  3. 3
    fire@will
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 9:41 am

    Another traditional movie I’ll never have to watch again!

    Ho, ho, hilarious!

    Thanks!

  4. 4
    MargotTenenbaum
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 10:59 am

    O. Snapp – awesome. Just plain awesome.

    I’m snorting and guffawing to beat the band here at my desk.

  5. 5
    weejie
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 2:18 pm

    That was just awesome! Laugh out loud funny. Thanks O. Snapp!

  6. 6
    trey
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 4:31 pm

    they have actually been playing this movie over and over again in the mall’s foodcourt where I work. 8D; And I sat down and watched a bit when I was on break the other day. Ah, my childhood. O. Snapp, thanks for killing it!

    I kid. I laughed many-a times.

    Though, I always wonder who, in their right mind, would want to be a dentist… want to look down childrens’ (and adults’) throats when they have decay or bad breath. WRY. I always ask my dentist or his assistants what possessed them. It turns out it was their dream to love oral hygiene. So, some people do like that shit. But not me.

  7. 7
    ItsLikeKissingAPeanut
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    That was Crantastic. Totally the best. Thanks so much!

  8. 8
    VolGirl
    Posted December 19, 2007 at 5:44 am

    I was really dreading coming into work today; but I decided to check out the ‘gasm since I hadn’t in a couple of days. Good gracious I’m glad I did! That had to be the funniest crap I’ve read in a long time.

    However, trying to stifle laughs while drinking cappucino with a stuffed up nose is not recommended. Especially if your assistant already thinks youre a nutball to begin with.

    Thanks, O. Snapp! You made my Wednesday. Probably the rest of the week, too.

  9. 9
    MandaMo
    Posted December 26, 2008 at 8:48 am

    omg! I am SO glad that this recap was dug up and re-published! I remember DYING the first time I read it last year, and it still kills me!

  10. 10
    Reiray
    Posted December 30, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    Thank you for reposting this! I still remembered this recap from last year but got to laugh at it all over again! The pictures made it all the more funny! Thanks again!

  11. 11
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted December 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

    This shit is so freakin funny…I am doubled over but I can’t tell my overly religious mom that I’m laughing at a story about Christmas with cussing in it.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.