BH Fabulous: A Hot Comb and a Dream

Last week, we learned that Elgin dances for Jesus. This week, we learned he’s no sissy; he’s a millionaire.

He’s also a do-gooder. He and Katrina—a stylist in The Elgin Charles Salon—volunteer for the day at a community center located in South Central, Los Angeles. To get the crowd, Elgin shows the group his spinning gold ring. Crickets. Then, he talks about his craft. More Crickets. Ungrateful little brats.

Is this fool trying to hypnotize us? Where’s social services when you need ‘em?

Elgin could’ve of just whipped out a hot comb and some hair gel. Instead, he had a few friends construct a mini salon on a makeshift stage draped in curtains right in the alley. He finally won them over. He went all out to help the young girls at the Center feel pampered and cared for. Growing up with a curling iron in one hand, a blow dryer in the other, and doll sitting in his lap, Elgin struggled to feel good about himself. His brother calling him “sissy” every day may have had something to do with it too.

Back at the salon, Sean is working a piece of gum like a hooker works a longshoremen while Lolita waits on her next client, a bride-to-be. Knowing that brides travel in packs like she-wolves, Sean bets Lolita lunch that her client isn’t rolling dolo (coming alone, for those whose knowledge of slang goes no further than Randy’s use of the word “dawg” on “American Idol”). Moments later, the bride walks through the door by herself, but her diva crew follows a few footsteps behind. Their feedback causes Lolita to snap. “Google me,” she confidently tells the doubting divas.

Google search keywords: bitchy stylist

Eventually, Lolita shoos them away long enough to finish the transformation, making a grown ass bride look like the latest brat on MTV’s “My Sweet 16″ by placing a ponytail smack dab in the middle of her damn head. My expectations of seeing a fabulous hair style come out of this salon ain’t the only thing going down. Drama lurks right around the corner.

She’ll have to show I.D. to get a drink at her own wedding reception.

Nothing good can come of a middle-aged, balding white man intentionally walking into a black beauty salon. With the “big body girls swinging asses” (Sean’s kind words for the bridal party), the last thing the Salon needs is an unexpected visit from the health inspector also known as Uncle Fester.

Neat. Sweet. Petite. (snap, snap)

But Sean saves the day, springing into action like a bleach blond Wonder Woman. Who would’ve ever thought Sean could work and chew gum at the same time? He steers the inspector to Elgin’s side of the salon, which Sean knows is white-glove ready.Then, he skips back to his and Lolita’s side where he shuts down the pizza and champagne party. Not only does Lolita refuse to help, she leaves with the bridal foursome to score more food and drink.

“I’m wearing this to work tomorrow”

Elgin catches word of the inspection, twirls his luxurious mane (his ruby red slippers were at the shoe shop), and then, magically appears at the salon. Sean feels undermined, betrayed and bratty. Before Elgin can say thank you for helping the salon pass inspection, Sean hisses at him. Elgin explains that the shop is his livelihood, and he had to come and make sure the inspection went well. Channeling his inner three-year old, Sean twists his lips and sticks his nose in the air. Every time Elgin’s voice rises an octave his eyes get wider. Now, they’re bulging and I’m frightened.

“Sean’s gonna make me bust a blood vessel in my eye.”

The intensity of the argument dies right along with my patience. Thank goodness, the end is here. Elgin tells the cameras that Sean needs to do some soul searching. Sean leaves the salon in search of a fresh pack of Bubblicious to take the edge off.

“I have thoroughly yanked Elgin’s chain today. My work here is done.”

I began to wonder if Elgin’s early departure from the community center means that there are a gang of little girls roaming the streets of South Central only HALF Elginized! Oh my.