To whom it may concern,
It seems like only a year three months and one week ago that I wrote my my first TVgasm post. 141 posts later, and I find myself writing my final post. Some good, some bad, some clever, some sad. And lord knows, I am going to miss coming up with headlines, which was always my favorite part of the process.
How did TVgasm and I find one another? Funny story…well not really, so I may lie a little at times to spice it up.
I first met J-Unit & B-Side a few years back when I was coerced into going to a party where I was told there would be cheap booze and even cheaper women. It was one of their famed Scorpion Bowl Parties. I remember I was introduced to these two college frat guys and immediately knew I would have nothing in common with them. Initially, I was trying to avoid new people and just talk to the people at the party I knew, but when the head count was done, and the head count of those I knew totaled a depressing “1,” it became clear to me I was going to have to mingle with, eh hem, frat guys.
The first one I conversed with was J-Unit, as he was the man guarding the booze, and as we know, the man who controls the booze, is the man who controls my heart….only in a non-really-gay sounding way. He seemed nice enough, laughed at things I said, which had he a vagina to go with his bitch tits, would have probably gotten a flirtatious smile out of me. But alas, he hadn’t anything to offer but booze and conversation. Quite frankly, that ain’t bad. The conversation evolved from “How do you know so-and-so?” to “So…Purple…That’s an interesting colour…Is this Kanye West?….Hey, what do you think air would taste like if you could taste it?”
Then along sauntered in an as yet unnamed, B-Side. Had I known then that he would one day be the Justin Timberlake of the blogworld, I probably wouldn’t have pee’d on his toilet seat. Yes, it was me. Conversation was fine, party was great and these two won me over when I asked to throw some money in for the booze and J-Unit said, “It’s the people who offer who donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t need to pay, its those other bastards who need to shell it out.” The three of us became fast acquaintances who kinda saw each other from time to time and more often than not, remembered one anotherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s names.
One day B-Side and I were chatting, most likely about something completely superficial and benign, and then we got on the topic of reality TV. Suddenly the two of us were gabbing like a couple of pre-coked Lohans. I had no clue he was as big a tv whore as I. He then told me about some little blog he and J-Unit had if ever I wanted to add to it. I think at the time a good day was 100 hits. I thought,” Sure, why not.”
Initially, I tried the conventional recaps, and quickly discovered that just wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t my jive. A former stand-up comic, my humor is better in short form and TVgasm needed something different. I had fun being more of a creative guy on the site than a recapper. Weather it was Letters from Jesus, the story of a pig, or getting our first cease and desist order, I always had fun coming up with new things to say, new ways to say them and of course having a forum to put them out there.
With Lohan boobs, Cruise wooh’s, Pat O’Brien hard and Rosie Retard along with the best written recaps, reviews and snark online, in a little over a years time, TVgasm has catapulted into the number one television weblog and I am proud to have been a part of it from the ground floor. TVgasm was always about bringing the readers into our living rooms as we watch the shows. Much of what you read on here is just a written echo of the things we say while watching the shows in the TVgasm office. Never was this more true than with our live blogging of Sping Break Shark Attack and of course, the craptastic Locusts. The ‘gasm was my cyber couch, and you were all welcome to sit down and watch the shows at anytime.
I was hoping to make it through the end of Big Brother this season, but J-Unit tells me they need the parking spot for sg-dub.
Though I leave the ‘gasm, I leave for good reasons for my career, and may still pop in from time to time to join B & J for a live blogging of a show or perhaps an annual Reality Double Take
Until then, thank you all for reading and much love to the ‘gasm.
P.S. Since I am leaving, I guess there is no harm in finally showing my face, sans blur. Here you go, hope it was worth the wait.