ABDC: Is This The End?


I have such a knot in my stomach right now, Gasmi.  For weeks I’ve wanted the Boyz gone and week after week tween fandom has won the day.  Now I’m sitting here sick to my stomach, knowing they’re probably gonna win it all tonight and I could just puke.  If that happens, I am done with this show.  Like DUN, done.  For real done.  I am not joking you.  And that makes me sad.

ABDC20110605aThere, there Doucheface.  I promise to still make fun of you.

So before we start talking about this finale of America’s Best Dance Crew we have to deal with the issue of the movie award red carpet bullshit being sprinkled in throughout the show.  WHAT THE FUCK, MTV?  Whose brilliant idea was that one because they should be fired?

ABDC20110605bIt was our idea.

Perfect.  There was no need at all for this finale to be 90 minutes.  At least half of it (if not more) was spent on this red carpet crap.  So here’s the deal: I am not recapping any of that shit.  Zero, zilch, nada.  Any objections?  Too bad!!

So let’s fast forward through and try to find where Mario is hiding……

ABDC20110605cThere you are, Dimples.

Let’s start out with another group number so it will be clear YET AGAIN that the Boyz are waaaaaaaaaay out of their league.  I know you were unsure about that, so it’s probably good that they decided to show us again.

ABDC20110605dA couple of the Boyz even try to throw themselves in the garbage!

Even they know they shouldn’t be there.

Mario tells us that there were over 50 million votes and now I just know that the lollipop guild is going to take the championship.  I’m so pissed right now I could cry.  ARGH!!!!! Dammit!!  He also points out that for the first time in ABDC history the trophy will be headed away from the West Coast.  Whatever, Mario.  Don’t try to make me feel better because it won’t work.

All the past champions are here tonight to bring us brand new routines.  Ready for the first one?  We’re starting from five (I’m guessing so that they can save Jabba for last), so Poreotix is up first.  After hearing from each of the final two what they liked about Poreotix and revisiting clips from their season, we’re ready to see their performance.


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This was better than I remember them being but I still don’t like them.  As you know, I never liked them and it wasn’t just their dancing.  I think they’re annoying.  And I still feel that way.  That said, I’d rather watch them dance than the Boyz, so I guess…….hooray?

I’d still rather watch Blueprint Cru, would you?

Blueprint Cru

I’m still annoyed that Poreotix won over these guys.

Back to reality.  JC says it’s good to see them and they haven’t lost their sense of humor, that’s for sure.  Going from Rebecca Black’s “Friday” to Jason Friday was great.  He congratulates them on touring around the world, mentioning that they opened for Bieber.

ABDC20110605gI mean, he’s no Timberlake, but still.

He thinks with them it’s all about the personality in their performances.  To him they captured America with their mix of intricate things and then power moves as well as their humor.  Great job.

After we ignore more red carpet time wasting, it’s time for We Are Heroes to perform.


ABDC20110605h


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I really liked this routine even though I think there were a couple during their season that were actually stronger than this.  Does that make sense?  This was a fun, strong number and I think they showed themselves off well.

Lil Mama gets to talk about them, but first we need to talk about her.  Again.

ABDC20110605jPlease buy some friends so someone will tell you how ridiculous you look.

Remember back in the day when her craziest accessory was her bedazzled baseball cap?  I miss that.  Her pathetic attempts at attention garnering are really sad.

Anyway, she tells them that every time they perform it’s with passion and they put their hearts into every performance.  They represent.  She gives it up for Nichelle and Ally doing back hand springs across the stage in heels.  Yeah, I gotta give it up for that.

She also commends them on their charity work, We Are Heroes and Pray and Hope for Japan.  She loves it because we are going through so much devastation and we need some positivity in entertainment.

ABDC20110605kI positively think you’re a loon.  Happy?

****Ignore red carpet bullshit here****

Ready for Quest Crew?  For those of us that were wondering, it looks like Doucheface is NOT performing with them.  In fact, in his intro Mario makes a point to say that the CURRENT members of Quest will be performing.


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LOVE THESE GUYS.  Who else but this group could represent while wearing purple onesies?  I mean, come on now!

I think this one deserves another look, don’t you?

QUEST CREW

Soooooooo good to see these guys on my TV again.  So.  As you’ve probably already figured out, Doucheface will be talking to Quest and awwwwwww, look.  He’s already all teary eyed about it.

ABDC20110605n**sniffle**Guys, won’t you please tell me why I can’t dance with you anymore? **sniffle**sob**choke**

ABDC20110605oBecause you’re a Doucheface

Okay, you caught me.  Obviously that didn’t happen.  But Doucheface is crying and you know he wishes he could be out there with them.  Anyone know the scoop on what happened there?

Doucheface tells them not that he’s biased at all, but they’re his favorite dance crew.  Period.  He says what everyone has to understand is that it’s beyond the title, the trophy and the $100,000.  It’s about brotherhood and some of the greatest times of his life were spent with them.

ABDC20110605pUmmmmm……awkward.

He wants them to know no matter what happens, whatever route they take, always keep that brotherhood because that is why they won America’s Best Dance Crew.  And that’s why they produced the routines they did, and that’s why tonight they were so absolutely amazing.

ABDC20110605qNow, will ONE of you return my calls?

ABDC20110605rNotGonna.  Happen.

After a slo-mo of Stevie’s twisting jumping awesomeness, he tells them he loves them, they’re his biggest inspiration in dance when it comes to his life.  He loves them, he misses them, and congrats on everything.  He can’t wait to see the future for Quest Crew.

ABDC20110605sWho else thinks that Doucheface needs to man up a little over there?

Oh Mario, shut up.

ABDC20110605tOh sure.  You can make fun of him but I can’t?

YUP.  He’s so sensitive sometimes.

Time for my second least favorite winners to perform.  You guessed it, it’s Super Cr3w.


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The best part of their routine was when they disappeared.  Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but I remain as unimpressed as ever with these guys.  I mean, they took forever to set up their first stunt. They do have some cool b-boy tricks in there, but nothing that they do blows me away.

Should we take a look at who SHOULD HAVE won season two?

Fanny Pak

I know you’ve seen this clip in my recaps before, but I fucking love that dance SOOOOOOOOOO much.  Fanny Pak was robbed and I continue to be mucho bitter about that.

Lil Mama thinks disappearing ninjas are just so cool and this show is so amazing.  She tells them that they inspire so many including herself, and that’s why they are champions.  Oh, I thought it’s because moronic Americans voted for them.

ABDC20110605wLike me!

Exactly.

Now we’re ready to revisit our first ever champions of this show.  Truly they are America’s Best Dance Crew………Gasmi, let’s give it up for JABBAWOCKEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


ABDC20110605x


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I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS SO MUCH I CAN”T STAND IT!!!!!!!!! Sorry to shout at y’all, but come on!  No one compares to these guys.  Am I right or am I right?  These guys have always been and will always be my favorite crew EVER on this show.  I can’t even imagine that there’s anyone out there that could top them for me.

I gotta see this again.

JABBAWOCKEEZ FOREVAH

I think my panties may have gotten a little moist when they came out on stage.  TMI?

Okay, not only did they incorporate some of the eliminated crews from the season (west coast crews only), BUT they have a little Jabba that schools us all and proves that little ones CAN dance as well (sometimes better than) as grown ups.

ABDC20110605zI’m talking to you

I mean, could it BE any fucking clearer that it would be a HUGE fucking travesty if the Boyz take home the trophy.  Shit, even the two crews I like the least dance better than them.  I am going to e so pissed off if they win.  Have I said that already this evening?

JC gets to talk to them and I am so glad since he’s the only judge I actually enjoy listening to anymore.  He says they are so captivating as the little Jabba removes his….wait…..HER mask!  Holy Shit!  It’s a little girl.

ABDC20110605aaWho runs the world?  Mother fucking GIRLS!!!

He says it is so good to have them back on the stage.  He gives a shout out to the baby Wockee, telling her she is wonderful.

ABDC20110605abI have not seen JC this happy in a long time.

He says that since they won the first season they have inspired dancers everywhere to pursue their dreams.  They have been wonderful ambassadors for ABDC and are true professionals.  Their precision, their artistry, they are superstars.  When a JabbaWockee is onstage the body language is like no one else.

ABDC20110605acJabbaWockeeZ Forevah!!!

Before we go to a break, Mario tells everyone that the JabbaWockeeZ have a hit show in Vegas.  I wish I could go see that; I bet it’s fucking amazing.

Time for one last performance from each of the top two.  You know, just so we can see YET AGAIN how much better IaMmE is than the Boyz.  Just to further piss me off when the inevitable happens.


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Mario turns it over to the judges for some final thoughts.

ABDC20110605afCan y’all talk to Quest Crew for me?  Anyone?  Pleeeeeease????

ABDC20110605agIt’s the troof, I love the yoof.

ABDC20110605ahI might have to quit after this season.

Of course they all talk about how great both crews are, blah, blah, blah.  We all know the truth.

Moment of truth time.  I’m going to throw up.  Ughican’tfuckingstandthis………….And the winner of season six and America’s Best Dance Crew (for the sixth time) is……………..

ABDC20110605aiWoofuckinghoo!  BOOYAH!  YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so fucking happy right now.  I’m not even going to lie to you Gasmi, I am fucking crying at this very moment like a little bitch.  That’s right.  Thank you adult Americans for taking to the phones this week!

The crowd goes wild, I go wild, IaMmE cry and hug each other.

ABDC20110605ajWhile some dude goes in for a kiss on Moon’s dad.

The kids hug IaMmE and then hang around awkwardly to the side while Randy comes out with the trophy.

ABDC20110605akYo Dawgs, thank god you won.  I think America was getting ready to lynch me.

Mario tells the Boyz they should hold their heads high; they made everyone very proud.  He asks Nick if he has any last words.

ABDC20110605al

He thinks they had a lot of good competition and is glad they made it this far.  There’s more to come from them and they are proud of themselves.

Mario asks Phillip what it feels like to win.

ABDC20110605amSO Fucking great.

And now it’s time for IaMmE’s victory performance.


ABDC20110605an


ABDC20110605ao

And there you have it, Gasmi.  IaMmE takes the championship!  I honestly did not think it was going to go that way and spent the entire show feeling like I was going to throw up.  I am so happy that these guys won I cannot even say it enough.

What did you think, Gasmi?  Were you as surprised as I was by the outcome?  What about the previous champs?  Did Jabba blow your mind?  What IS the deal between Doucheface and Quest?

I hope you will join me over at the So You Think You Can Dance recaps for the rest of the summer, but if not, I’ll surely see you back here next season.  Until then…..

SWAK, PottyMouth



PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

20 Comments

  1. 1
    Anon
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Wikipedia cites D-trix left the crew because he was doing the SYTYCD tours.

  2. 2
    LP
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Actually, I thought the opposite. As soon as Mario said over 50 million votes were cast, I knew IAMME had won. I knew that America would not stand for the injustice in letting those little brats win. I knew that people who normally never vote, such as myself, voted just so the deserving crew could win. So happy IAMME won!

  3. 3
    blazergirl
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    I had the same thought, LP, about the votes. I had a strong feeling IamMe would take it as well once he announced it. I know a few weeks ago I predicted Iconic Boyz would win and I couldn’t be happier to be wrong!

    As far as Dominic and Quest Crew, he left last summer to be a part of So You Think You Can Dance. As far as I know, there wasn’t any bad blood. I’m thinking that between SYTYCD and ABDC he figured he could probably get paid much more to stay in LA and not have to travel all the time. I also loved Quest Crew’s performance and watched it several times; they are so much fun to watch! For any of you who didn’t see when they were on, search around and find their old performances. Both IamMe and Iconic Boyz talked about Quest Crew performances from the final episode. The hip hop decathalon was amazing; that was the one with Dominic doing air flares on his elbows and the amazing tutting section. Their second performance that night was with the push flip in the air and also Dominic did head spins on a piano while the rest acted like the were pulling with ropes to make him speed up and slow down. Amazing! I know they only bring back winners, but I would love to see Beat Freaks again who lost out to Quest Crew but are better than 95% of the crews that have ever been on this show.

  4. 4
    whattafan
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    I still am not sure I can come back for another season of this trainwreck. Quality dancing is not acknowledged and the voters are too American Idol indoctrinated to be objective. I think I will probably utilize NetFlix instead of wasting my time with whatever P.O.S. they bring in to sit on L’il Mama’s right and the crap that ends up on stage.

  5. 5
    beebs
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Here’s hoping they fire all their camera crew and hire some that will actually let me watch the dancing.

  6. 6
    lalalilo
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    “It’s the troof, I love the yoof.” That had me in stitches lol. I had the results ruined for me before I could watch the show, but I was so happy that I didn’t really mind. Now that we are safe from a possible Iconic boyz win I feel a bit bad about being so harsh on them. But that’s the price they pay for being on a big people show; be prepared to be judged like the adults (by us anyways, the judges definitely graded on a kiddy curve.)

    Loved loved loved Jabba, and the gasp that went up in the audience when the baby wockee revealed herself was priceless.

    Didn’t really expect much from Super crew but didn’t they already do the ninja thing before? (Quietly mourns the elimination of Fanny Pak yet again)

    Feeling really happy for iamme right now. Great recaps this whole season :)

  7. 7
    itsreal
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    Baby jabba KILLED it! I lovelovelovelovelove jabbawockeeZ but, that little girl made the whole performance. If I had been any of the Iconic Boys, i would have just left. Haha. They’re ok kid dancers, but She was an AMAZING kid dancer.

  8. 8
    (J)ustPeachy
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 6:50 pm

    WOOHOOO! TAKE THAT YOU TWEENERS!!!!!

    Lol, I also felt a little bad after they lost, but then I just blame Randy for letting them on the show and the people who voted for them that set them up for failure.
    Also, I was ready to give up on this show as well, but they made it alllll better with the finale show and now I’m ready for next season. :0)
    I also thought Poreotix did better than during their season and I literally busted out laughing when they played “Friday.”
    I thought We are Heroes were worse than their season.
    I could watch Jabbawockee’s all night. Not sure on spelling.
    That little girl was the icing on the cake. It was funny because during Tight Eyez “solo” I was like “okay, that’s lame… that doesn’t seem like the jabbas I know.” And then when it was revealed at the end I was like, “ohhhhhh, okay, now I get it.” LOL.
    The movie award filler was horrible except for Jim Carrey tearing up the microphone, and even that was a little boring.
    Yay! I AM ME!!!!!

    Sorry I wrote so much, but I’ve been waiting for you to put up the recap since Sunday night and you never cease to amaze me. <—-HAHAHAHAHA

  9. 9
    TheMiki themiki
    Posted June 8, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    It’s funny, but when I went to watch this and saw all that redcarpet crap my first thought was, “I hope Pottymouth rips them apart for this nonsense.” And ya did. So thanks.

    Qwest Crew and Jabba did nothing but remind us all how far downhill this show has gone. We Are Heroes reminded me that Beat Freaks would have won the hell out of any season except one or three, and it’s a damn shame they lost. I think Qwest was a better crew, but Beat Freaks were better than Supercrew, Poreotix, or We Are Heroes by a long shot. I wanna see them again, dammit! With the magic ball thing.

    I think it goes without saying that I would have probably thrown something at my TV if those Boyz had beat out IaMmE. So happy about the outcome.

  10. 10
    nashuaf
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 2:31 am

    My friend tells me that Doucheface was never really part of Quest, that he was a coreographer for SYTYCD, and that Hawk brought him in as a ringer for their season and he left soon thereafter. But again, that’s just word of mouth.

    I was completely relieved that IME won (it’s embarrassing that I’m a 33 year old male saying that), and have re-watched the Jabba performance I don’t know how many times.

    And thank god for DVR allowing me to skip past the movie award garbage.

  11. 11
    RazzBeth
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 5:11 am

    Thank whatever deity you believe in that the right crew won!

    And to Randy: unless you find a whole crew of Baby Wockeez (she was absolutely wonderful!), then DO NOT ever put a group of children on again. I do mostly blame Randy for this fiasco and I was feeling bad for the kids, but then I thought, “Well, they obviously thought they were good enough and auditioned for the show in the first place, so no, I don’t really feel bad for them.” And then I thought, “But the parents probably put them up to it.” So then I felt bad again. And then I thought, “Mark lost his house in the tornado, so there are more important things in life to worry about.” With practice and a few years, those kids may be a great crew, but I don’t want to see them again until that happens.

    Congratulations IaMmE (or however you capitalize it)!!!

  12. 12
    Lizbot
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    Haven’t seen the show yet and I’m just half-way through reading the recap but…omg I totally forgot about Supercrew winning that season over Fannypak and the other crew (I can’t remember who they were, but they were better than Supercrew).

    Crap…I hope I don’t get to the end and find out that my misanalysis of the trends resulted in another misprediction….reading on…

  13. 13
    Lizbot
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Whew! I wasn’t wrong! So glad IME got the win and we hopefully get to keep you as our official ABDC recapper!

    I do have to disagree with you on one thing, though – Jabba is only my second favourite set of champions. I still think Quest had some of the most imaginative and powerful routines out there. But IME, Jabbawokeez, and Quest could all compete for the title of the best of the best.

    Wouldn’t that be awesome if they had a season of champions? Then we could finally see crap winners like Poreotix and Supercrew go down in flames? Ooh, and maybe they could bring back some of the 3rd and 2nd place teams who were robbed and hopefully those wrongs could be righted? One can only dream….

  14. 14
    Hm21
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    So I have to admit, I’m kind of obsessed with Quest Crew, ever since the beginning. D-Trix was a founding member of it, along with Ryanimay and Victor I think (not sure though). They knew each other from being in a Sacramento Crew together though I can’t remember its name. They knew everybody else so they all came together to from Quest Crew. After they won ABDC S3, they did all the performances around the country and world. Last year, when D-Trix was an All-Star for SYTYCD, he couldn’t rehearse or perform with Quest so Aris took his spot in their performances. With SYTYCD, D-Trix had to do the live shows tour and all that rehearsal so he never really did any rehearsals with Quest. They asked that he leave the crew because he was so busy with SYTYCD and other things, like ABDC. He just was never able to rehearse and perform with them so Aris was kind of officially in the group that would perform. There’s not really any bad blood between them because D-Trix understood where they were coming from and agreed to leave. Even though he’s not in the crew anymore, they all still hang out and talk, maybe not as much though. As you know, D-Trix is now in NigaHiga’s videos (and his roommate) and in YTF with all the other YouTubers. Victor Kim is actually also in it so they’re still close. Even though he’s not part of the crew, I really wished he had performed with Quest on the show. I know he can be annoying, but he’s still an amazing breaker and dancer and it would have allowed for an even more stunning routine. Needless to say, I LOVED their performance!! And now I’m done with that topic.

    I’M SO FLIPPING HAPPY THAT IAMME WON!!! I knew that when Pacman and Moon announced they were holding auditions to form a crew to compete on ABDC they would win. I couldn’t be more happy for them, they by far were the best crew this season. They better perform on SYTYCD sometime this season!!!

    And lastly, I’m pissed that the end of the show wasn’t live. On Thursday when they taped the finale, they recorded two endings: one where iConic Boyz won and performed their celebratory dance to Yeah 3x and the one we saw with IaMmE winning. So the reactions that IaMme had were a little fake. They didn’t actually know they had won. They only found out they won on Sunday when they saw which ending aired. This just pissed me off cuz you couldn’t see the raw emotion from them winning. I know with Quest, they were absolutely crazy and there was so much joy. And they also had the crews of the season come out and congratulate with them. I guess it was good because they didn’t have to act as calm to be respectful to iConic Boyz. Not too big of a deal cuz at least IaMmE won!! Anywayzz, off my soapbox there.

    Thanks you so much for an amazing season of recaps PottyMouth!! I loved them all. And I’m so stoked that you’re recapping SYTYCD this season!! It’s gonna be amazing :)

  15. 15
    chaosbutterfly
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    HAHAHAHA I had to bust out a couple of Dave Chapelle-style BYAHs at that result. I’m sooo happy, because I was so scared as hell that Iconic Boyz would win too.

    As for the performances, Jabawockeez, Quest Crew (with their tinkie winkie selves) and Poreotix (SURPRISINGLY) brought forth the best shit. Baby Jaba was so good!! And she had the nerve to be super adorable on top of it all. Idk what We Are Heroes were doing..maybe they should have put on some sneakers so they could break it down forreal. Although the backhand springs into a split had my mouth hanging. And when one of them went into a split from the ropes, my mouth was also open. Splits in general just excite me, mostly because the one time I tried one, I busted a hamstring. True story.
    And Supercrew? Fuck their shit, that was WACK!!

    I was making fun of Dominic for crying (like a little BITCH) when he was talking about Quest Crew, but I felt bad later. I know he must feel sad to see them up there without him AND they were not even emotional about it. He was crying, and they were up there playing with Ryan’s hair. Burn.

    P.S. Am I the only one who thinks that Lil Mama is Bow Wow in a wig? Someone tell me she doesn’t look just like Lil Bow Wow. I call her Lil Bow Ma.
    P.P.S. Thank you for the awesome recaps!! They made a season of tragedy and rage sooo much easier to swallow. n_n

  16. 16
    Moli Moli
    Posted June 10, 2011 at 10:42 am

    There is a Bob!!!!!! PM, I enlisted my co-workers again with the voting process(nowhere near as hard as the Robert*w* fiasco). Since the first season I haven’t had cable(to punish Comcast) so I had no idea who the groups you spoke of. Eh, glad I missed those crap fests. DVR is my bestest friend in all the land……once i saw that red carpet crap I changed the channel. I fast forwarded through all that nonesense. PM……see you on the other side SYTYCD…..dance dance:)

  17. 17
    TheMiki themiki
    Posted June 10, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    @Hm21 — Do you think maybe they did the two endings thing to avoid a “Hayley Joel Osment at the Golden Globes” moment? Were they worried that Iconic Boyz would break into hysterical weeping and not even pretend to be gracious losers? Cause I would have LOVED to have seen that.

  18. 18
    (J)ustPeachy
    Posted June 10, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    @Hm21 Thanks for the info!

  19. 19
    Dylan
    Posted June 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    I want ABDC to have a All stars season next, get all the crews that almost made it and have them battle it out one more time… if anything to see BeatFreaks kick some serious ass, would be more than awesome with FannyPak and Bluprint also in the rooster. Make it happen Mtv!! Stat!!

    Agree with everyone’s comments, best crew won, so happy, Jabba ROCKS, luv u all, and thank u Potty, great recaps every week look forward of u doin it again for next season, hopefully there won’t be any more kidz crews so u don’t have to have a seizure every week : )

  20. 20
    Kees
    Posted January 20, 2013 at 4:28 am

    Dear sir or madame,

    after reading this blog/article I feel the need to say that you are a douchebag. You lack total respect of the dance community and I wonder if you even dance yourself. There are countless arguments that can totally break your whole view of dance apart, but I don’t really think you are worth it. People like you make Jabbawockeez fans look bad. I hope you grow up soon.

    Regards,
    random citizen

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