ABDC: Minaj a Quatre

We’re down to the top four crews; you know what that means, right?  Group number!

Well.  That was disappointing.  Usually I love the group numbers but this one was pretty weak overall.  There were some good moments, but I think it’s very telling when almost an entire crew is hidden in the back for 98.5% of the number.  And it’s not just because they’re short.

I hate starting out the night already disappointed.  Let’s hope Mario’s news can cheer me up.  He’s going over to IaMmE and Street Kingdom.  One of them will be moving on to the top three; the other will be in the bottom two.  I’m thinking this is going to be really easy to call, but I guess you never really know for sure.

BOO YAH!!!!

I love how Chbeeb always looks so surprised.  Acting is not his forte.  Anyway, I’m super happy that the voting went my way this time around.

Before we get into IaMmE’s details, Mario wants us to see what happened when Lil Mama told them this week’s superstar is Nicki Minaj.  For once when we’re told she’s delivering the challenges she is actually THERE, like in person!  Write it down; that doesn’t happen very often.

That’s a whole lotta crazy on one stage!

What the fuck is up with those outfits?  Dayum.

Nicki’s going to be delivering the challenges to each crew personally.  For IaMmE, their song is going to be “Moment 4 Life” and Nicki challenges them to recreate a childhood game.

They take a field trip to a playground to get some ideas, one of which seems to involve a chicken’s mom.  Ummm…..has anyone ever heard of a kid’s game involving a chicken’s mom cause I sure as chicken shit haven’t.

LOVE them.  I mean, this is nothing new to you guys; you all know how I feel about this crew.  I’ve loved them since I first saw them and I continue my love affair with them.  They are simply awesome.

JC calls them professionals, saying they analyze their tasks and then attack them.

Just don’t attack me like that, ok?

He talks about their stunts, saying that if one had thing went wrong everything would have fallen apart but obviously that didn’t happen.  The one thing critique he has is that he can sometimes see them thinking about what is coming next or where they need to be; he’d like them to work on that because he loves the surprises that they can deliver.

Doucheface says he was looking for mistakes in their routine but he couldn’t find any.

So then he looked for a Doucheface and found one in the mirror.

He loved all the games they used and even calls out a couple that I didn’t catch on my first viewing (whack-a-mole, anyone?)  He can’t wait to see what they do next week.

Lil Mama says its their moments between the choreography that are so impeccable.  She loves it.  She especially loved the part when YaYa was ticking and I gotta say, I am totally with her on that one.

Domo Arigato Mama Robato

We check in again with IaMmE backstage and YaYa tells us her dad said that there was no way they’d place higher than fifth on the show.

Я думаю, что сволочь же голосовать за эти проклятые детей

Yo.  YaYa’s dad is a dick.

Time for more results.  I don’t think I need to tell you it’s down to Iconic Boyz and Phunk Phenomenon.,  I also don’t think I need to tell you which way I’m hoping this goes.  And the next saved crew is…..

FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This pisses me off so freaking bad I can’t even stand it!  UGH.  I am so sick of these kids you guys.  WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Nicki gives them their challenge which is to become marionettes.  They don’t know what marionettes are.  They didn’t get that far in school yet.

Even the puppets think they’re dumbasses.

Awwwwww….Chunk misses his baby sister and hopes she’ll be a dancer like him someday.

I heart Chunk

He’s the only one who can stay; the rest of the kiddies must leave.  It’s the only way I can assure their safety.  What?

They go to visit a puppet palace of sorts and we hear the usual blathering about how hard the challenge is and blah blah blah.  Nick  cracks me up when he says they need to be NSync without any strings attached.  Bwahahahahaha!  Was that line fed to him?

I remain as unimpressed as ever.  You’re shocked, I know.  This has become so ridiculous.

Isn’t it past your bedtime or something?

Doucheface says he likes that they used all the elements he loves like comedy, stunts, etc.  He tells them he’d like them to work on framing the stunts better.  He gives them some actual constructive advice on their b-boying section, so at least he’s not ENTIRELY useless this time around.

Lil Mama loves them (DUH) and says they are really expanding on the show.

Whatchoo tryin to say, Lil Mama?!?

Oh Chunk, calm down.  She didn’t mean you were expanding; try to remember that she’s only speaking at a second grade level, okay?  She likes the way they utilize the stage and keep it clean.  She also really loves the transviloquist they created on stage.

Trans vila wha??????

Sorry, I meant FIRST grade speaking level.

What a fucking idiot she is.  I love that JC looks like he wishes he was anywhere else right now.  Or maybe sitting at the judges’ table alone.  An idea I fully support by the way.

Must…..not…..laugh in her face.

JC thinks the other two judges pretty much covered everything.  Doucheface was right about them framing their tricks and JC would like to see the hands actually leave the ground when they’re doing something like hand hops.  Oh snap.

He also works the word ventriloquist into his critique I think just to subtly point out to all of us at home what a dope Lil Mama is.  Don’t worry, JC we all knew that already. He tells them this was a good performance, not great.

WOW.  We’re down to the bottom two already.  Funny how that happens when you only have four crews to get through, huh?

Mario points out that this is Street Kingdom’s third time in the bottom two.  He asks Tight Eyez if they have what it takes to Rize up yet again.  GROAN.

Tight Eyez says that’s the story of his life; rizing out of adversity.  And then something about walking his faith, I dunno.                                                              .

So in a word, yes?

Mario then goes over to Phunk Phenomenon.  He wants to know how they’re going to show the judges that they belong in the final three next week.

Errrrrrmmmm…….dance gooder than them?

Don’t you just love it when Mario tries to ask those hard hitting questions?  Me either.  I think he should just stand there and look pretty.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

Phunk Phenomenon is going to be up first.  Their song is “My Chick Bad” and Nicki tells them that their challenge is going to be belly dancing; incorporating belly rolls and hip isolations into their dance.  Bebo almost falls over.  In practice he seems to be having the hardest time with the challenge.  Can he pull it together in time?

This isn’t their best performance, but I don’t even care; I love them anyway.  Besides, their “not best” performance is far better than Street Kingdom or those damn kids so they’d best be moving on into the top three or I will cut a bitch.

Doucheface thinks that this is how you fight when you’re in the bottom.  Then……oh good lord, then……he tries to give Bebo advice on hip rolls and likens it to, well, fucking.  Now, I love fucking as much as the nest person, but there are certain people you come across that you never EVER want to picture doing the deed.

And this fucker is right at the top of that list.

I am teetering on the edge of barfdom and then he shows us all his sexy face and I am off to the bathroom.  Damn.  If I’d have known I’d be puking tonight I would’ve had a cannoli or two.  Stupid Douchface.

Lil Mama thinks it’s funny because she told them last week to bring the phunk back and then they got belly rolls.  Ah yes, Lil Mama, that is sooooooooo highlarious! She still thinks they kept it phunky and then she gives a shout out to all the women left in the competition and tells Kassandra she does a great job of hanging in there with the guys.

JC thinks there were parts in there that really encompassed Nicki Minaj.  He felt REALY bad for them when he hard they got belly rolls, but as it turns out they handled it really well.

We’d be talking about a whole different kind of belly roll if I had to do them

He does let Bebo know that he saw him fall but was happy to see him get right back up and in it, not letting him show anything on his face.

Street Kingdom is up next, and Nicki tells them they’ll need to show some military drills just like soldiers.  I’m sensing a theme they keep getting, are you?  Light sabers, kung fu, soldiers……hmmmmmm…..all seem to go very well with a krumping crew, don’t they?  CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!

I especially like their London Bridge section.  It was just awesome, don’t you think?  I am over this group as well.

Lil Mama likes what Tight Eyez had to say because she thinks God should be first in anything you do no matter what.  Gee, I wonder if she’s planning on going on Survivor soon.

If God wills it.  Period.

Are you there God?  It’s me, PottyMouth.  Please remove Lil Mama’s voicebox immediately.  Amen.  PS – Please strick Doucheface with one trillion bolts of lightening.  Amen x 2.

She thinks their performance started a little slow tonight; it eventually picked up and was dope.  She just wishes they had started out as dopey as she is.

JC points out that they only have about a minute or so and he agrees with Lil Mama; they took too long to get going.  To him it felt like they wasted the first twenty seconds.  He does say that once it kicked into gear he felt like it kicked into high gear; he just wishes they would have got it going sooner.

Doucheface is surprised by how much they’ve grown on the show.

I’m unsurprised by how much he makes me groan during this show.

He congratulates them on coming so far in the competition.  He does agree that it took them a while to get there but when they did it was so buc and so fire.  He also thinks they have fast agility and he is really proud of them.  He has mad love for them.

Let’s give the judges some time to deliberate…..

As always, we take a short break during their deliberations, and then it’s time for the results.  Mario does his usual recap and we pan slooooooooooooowly over each and every person’s face before finding out the crew moving on to the final three is……….

And like Bebo, I actually jumped up in the air for this one.

I am so happy these guys are moving on; I may have seriously had a psychotic break if they were sent home.

Mario asks Tight Eyez if he has any last words and he wants to set the record straight:  He and Mijo created krump but Street Kingdom created krump the godly way, krumping in tongues if you will.

Lil C who?

Wow, I thought Lil C is considered a creator of krump as well, isn’t he?  Do they not get along or something?  Does anyone know the scoop?

Here I go creating drama where probably none exists.  Yes, this season has been THAT boring.  And then, as must always happen, their banner must fall.

What? No love for JC?

Just fooling with ya, JC gets some hugs and handshakes as well.  Their walk it out segment is more of a stand around hugging the judges.  They shoulda krumped it out.  Oh well.

And that’s another episode in the bag, Gasmi?  What did you think this time around?  Are you happy to see the krumpers kicked to the kurb?  Are you ready for the kids to be put to bed?  Personally I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Kanye week can send the kiddies back to the playground.

SWAK, PottyMouth