ABDC: Opposite Week

Hi Gasmi!  I’ve spent the last three days at jury duty so I’m ecstatic to finally be here ready to talk about America’s Best Dance Crew.  As you might have guessed while watching, I am so annoyed about the results this week.  It seems to me that this week America voted the worst as the best and vice versa.  Is there an opposite week I am unaware of?

Yes!  I will be smart and insightful this week!

Oh Doucheface, you are such a kidder!

So this week the crews will be performing to Rihanna songs and her choreographer, Tanisha Scott, will be giving them a dance hall step to incorporate and showcase in their routine.  Let’s get right to it.

Mario and the remaining crews gather on stage so that he can deliver some results.  The first saved crew is……….

Whatthefuckingfuckshitmotherfuckingfuck?

Was America smoking crack before voting?  I am completely gobsmacked that this crew is not in the bottom two this week.  And let me just say this now:  If they win this season, I quit.  That’s right, Gasmi.  If these fuckers win I am officially done with this show.  The same goes for the kiddies.  FOR REALS.

I’m so mad I don’t even want to talk about them at all.  Tanisha stops by to give them their challenge which is called the head top.  Basically, a head stand with some hip swivels.  Given that they’re b-boys I expect them to be able to pull that off.

Do I even need to comment on how much I hate their costumes?  Oh wait.  I just did.  Maybe it’s that I’m completely pissed that they’re not in the bottom, but I thought this was crap.  It was sloppy as hell.  Plus, I still feel like they’re not dancing enough.  I dunno, this crew has a same old, same old feeling for me; I’m beyond over them.

Lil Mama thinks they definitely could have brought a little more dance hall style to the performance.  She did like when they grabbed their crotches.

Yes I did.

She thinks they should study reggae more, embrace it.  She won’t say it was great, but it was good.

Doucheface thinks it was their best performance yet.  True, but it’s all been a pile of crap so that’s not really saying much, is it?

Ya got me there.

He tells them he comes from where they come from so big ups.  He thinks this is the first time they’ve seen booty popping while people are on their heads.  He says they definitely did their challenge and they did it in the b-boy way and he has mad respect for that.

JC starts out by thanking Tanisha for being there with them.  He thinks it was clever how they switched from the dancehall style to the b-boy style and transition-wise it worked really well. What did surprise him is that their floor work was sloppy since they are usually so good in that area.  They might want to do some cleaning.

A shower wouldn’t hurt; you’re smelling pretty rank.

Time for more results.  Iconic Boyz and 787 Crew.  One will be safe; one is in the bottom two.  The next safe crew is…….

UGH.

Not a surprise at all, but I’m still pissed.  787 did a great job last week and DO NOT deserve to be in the bottom.  I am so disappointed in America right now.

Anyway, the Boyz.  They’ll be dancing to “Only Girl” and Tanisha gives them the challenge of give it a run.  Has anyone else noticed that they all talk in a monotone during their interviews?  It makes me sleepy.

Why do they have red underarm patches on their jackets?  So weird.  That cutesy crap in the beginning is a perfect example of stuff I don’t like about them.  Oh, singing into someone’s hand is just SO AWESOME.  Puh-lease.  I will say that this routine bugged me less than their others so far, but I still want them to go.  After Instant Noodles.

Doucheface reminds them that last week he said it takes more than being adorable to be America’s Best Dance Crew.  This week he feels like they brought what it takes.  Huh.  Who wants to bet some angry Iconic Momz had some words for him last week?  He thinks there were a lot of great moments in there.  Amazing job, keep it up.

JC agrees with Doucheface.

Heeheehee, see?  I can be funny.

He thinks this was a really, really great performance for them; everything really came together.  He loves the fact that they’re pushing themselves right now and doesn’t give them crap for being sloppy like he would to the older kids.

Lil Mama thinks they are amazing and their transitions are phenomenal.  She thinks they really pay attention to each other and she liked how they worked that reggae sensation.

Three crews are left.  Obviously we know two will be safe and one will be in the bottom.  After 787 Crew landing in the bottom, I have to admit I’m a little nervous for IaMmE and Phunk Phenomenon, but krump has taken a hit for a couple of weeks now, so I’m pretty certain I know how this is going to play out.  The first of the three that is safe and moving on is……..

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am Soooooooooooo happy about this.  If they had been in the bottom my head might had exploded.  And the next saved crew is…….

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!?

I’m considering moving out of the country right now.  Really, America?  You chose Street Kingdom and fucking Instant Noodles over Phunk Phenomenon?  Shame on you.  You’re grounded and I’m revoking your phone privileges for the upcoming week.  That’s right, you heard me!

Thankfully IaMmE is up so I know they’ll be able to quell my anger a little bit.  They’ve gotten “S&M” as their song and their challenge is the spiderman.  Please guys, kill it so I can be happy for a few minutes at least.

I really love these guys; they have yet to hit a bad note for me.  They’re together, they’re creative, and most importantly, they DANCE.  LOVE THEM.

JC likes everything about them.  He says their setup in the middle was slow but once it got going it was mind blowing.  He thinks this was an exceptional performance.

Lil Mama thinks they are a perfect combination of doing what they do but also opening up to their challenges and defeating their challenges.  They make it seem seamless.  She thinks the youf is really making a statement and then tells us all that Olivia (the blonde girl) is only fifteen.

Get it girl!

Huh.  Isn’t it amazing that they don’t judge her on a different curve than anyone else?  Oh, AND she’s better than most of the other dancers in the other crews performing.  Juss sayin.

Doucheface tells them it couldn’t have been any better; it was amazing.

My brain got banged real good this week.

I think this is the most action his brain has ever seen.  He says not only did they kill the challenge but they also stuck to what they are brilliant about.  They blew him away even more this week.

Time for Street Kingdom.  They’ll be performing to “Rude Boy” and have to incorporate something called the dutty wine.  It looks like a lot of sexy hip swivels and maybe some headrolling.  Melissa is uncomfortable dancing like that around the guys; they’re like her brothers.

Good lord.  That was awful.  I’m sorry Melissa, you seem like a sweet girl, but I could feel how uncomfortable this dance made you and it was not sexy AT ALL.  I think this was their worst week yet.

Lil Mama is fucking crying.

Give me a fucking break.

Really?  I am so fucking sick of people crying over krump.  She tells them they represent the bottom and people that don’t have a chance.  She loves them for that.  She does say she that they need to step it up in their performance, don’t be so ABC in their choreography.

Doucheface thinks Melissa was sexy.

Other things Doucheface finds sexy:  himself, apple pie, his Hanna Montana blow up doll, JC, and oh, himself.

Yes, Doucheface is definitely the authority on what sexy is.  He says they told a story; he fails to mention that their story sucked donkey balls.  He can’t tell them how to krump (DUH) but he does want them to think about creating visuals.  Big ups.

JC thinks the choreography in the beginning was a little abc; a lot of walking and posing.  He did like the playfulness of the performance, but overall the routine was too elementary.

Time for 787 Crew and Phunk Phenomenon to go head to head.  Phunk Phenomenon will be going first.  Their song is “Please don’t Stop the Music” ad their challenge is something called the chaplin, which sort of resembles the stanky leg a little.

I love these guys.  I thought they did a great job both with the routine and their challenge.  I really hope we don’t see them in the bottom again next time because they most definitely do not deserve to be there.

As usual, no comments from the judges until both crews perform.

Up next is 787 Crew.  They’ve gotten “What’s My Name” as their song and their challenge is the gallis step which is sort of like the limbo except you do it in place and go all the way down to the ground.  I don’t think we’ll be seeing wheelchair dancing this week.

I thought these guys did a great job last week, but it wasn’t as great for me this week.  I still like them and would rather have seen someone else here in the bottom, but out of the two crews I think it’s their time to go.

Let’s see what the judges have to say.

First is JC and he’s talking about Phunk Phenomenon.  He says when they first came on the show he thought they were really good.  But then as he saw them the next week and the next week he was like WOW, they’re reeeeeeeally good.

Really, really, really, really good.

He thinks their group has a lot of heart.  He gives them props for dancing for a cause, saying not only are they great dancers, they’re great human beings as well.

Lil Mama tells 787 Crew that not only do they represent Puerto Rico hey also embrace hip hop and breaking and popping.  She’s gonna be sad to see either of these crews go home.

Aw, crap.  Doucheface is talking about both.  He tells Phunk Phenomenon that every week they are extremely brilliant.  He thinks they always stay true to themselves and bring choreography and stunts.  There is not one weakness with this group.

He tells 787 that a lot of times they get crazy stunt crews on this show and being able to blend the stunts with the choreography is one of the hardest things to do.  These guys show that b-boys can also get down and dance and have fun.  They show that all of them can do all the stunts.

And of course I can do them too.

He tells both crews that they’ve inspired people all over the world, every single one of them individually and as a crew.  That is the most important part of this dance competition and dancing on stage.  He thinks this will be the toughest elimination evah.

And now it’s time for the judges to deliberate…..

After a short break we’re back to find out who is staying and who will be heading out tonight.  I’m still upset that these guys were our bottom two.  Mario does his little recap of the judges’ remarks and then dramatic music plays as Mario announces that the crew that’s safe and moving on to next week is……..

YAY!

As I said before, I’m sad that 787 Crew has to go before other crews still here, but of the two Phunk Phenomenon gave a better performance.  The judges give 787 Crew a standing ovation.

And Lil Mama proves once again that even if her stylist is dressing her for free, she’s paying too much.

For the first time this season we get a recap of the crew’s journey on the show, and then, their banner must fall.

These guys win even more points from me by not simply walking off stage, but catching their banner, doing some tricks and moves on the stage and then…

Way to go out with class, guys.

I mean that sincerely.

And that’s the show, Gasmi.  What did you think of this round?  Were you as pissed as I was about the bottom and top crews?  Were you sad to see 787 Crew go just when it seemed they were starting to really shine?  How about how they left?  Was it nice for you to see someone finally do more than just fucking walk off the stage?

Thanks for all your comments and support last week.  You guys are truly the best.  I can’t wait to see what you all thought about this episode.  Oh, and it’s Bieber week next with krumping.  I hope I make it through it.

See you on the other side!

SWAK, PottyMouth