About Last Night: Biggest Loser and V

Mini Caps of V and Biggest Loser

Does this surprise anyone?

Biggest Loser: Bluzgirl

We were back this week with the normal oversized, two hour Biggest Loser. We pick up where we left off last week, with a bunch of working out and Dan getting yelled at for gaining a bunch of weight and lying about throwing the challenge. This week, we open at Fitness Ridge in Malibu, home of the “Unknowns”. Which is a silly name since we kind of know them now. Let’s continue on with Team Genius. They’re doing there second to last chance workout, which means last workout away from the ranch. Apparently, Q from Team Genius has done a fine job pissing off the other members of Team Genius and they all get in his face about not being a team player. He comes back at them that he is worried about himself. Yay, Team!

At the ranch, the team gets set for the weigh in and you’ll never guess who gains weight? Yep, the new team of Dan and Irene. Dan gets voted out quickly as he explains to us the ranch was just not for him and he didn’t want to risk either Jesse or Arthur going home. Alison throws Team Ranch another opportunity for the next weigh in. If they can collectively lose more than 48lbs, they will have immunity. Team Genius shows up at the ranch and has to do a challenge themselves. The winner gets immunity and someone WILL be going home on their team. Team Yellow (Rulon and Justin) win the immunity because Team Genius apparently lost brain cells and didn’t target one of their strongest (and jerkiest) teams.

At the weigh in, Team Ranch hits their goal and don’t have to send anyone home. Sigh. Team Genius kicks butt on the scale but someone has to fall below and it is the Red Team—Q and Larialmy. They beg the rest of their team to send Lirialmy home because Q tries to convince them he will work harder on the ranch. Team Genius is kind of a group of jerks and it is only after a bunch of threats, do they relent and Larialmy gets sent home. LOTS more details to come..

V: Saint Claire of Assisi

I have to say, this is my favorite episode of the season so far. Anna basically fingerbangs the entire ruling body of the Catholic Church, and they barely put up a fight.

But first, let’s look at what Erica’s dealing with this week. The episode starts off with yet another horrible act of violence perpetrated by the evil offshoot of the Fifth Column—this time, three Peace Ambassadors have been strung up by their ankles, and their throats have been slit. Things have gone too far. Erica gets assigned a new partner from Washington who just so happens to specialize in terrorism or something, and it turns out to be an old friend or hers, Bolling. They may or may not have a past, it isn’t clear, but they flirt like awkward teenagers. Bolling’s also convinced Father Jack has something to do with the slayings. He and Erica pay Jack a visit, and even though Erica tries her best to protect Jack, Bolling’s convinced Jack is hiding something.

The real Fifth Column has problems of its own. In addition to the emergence of the evil FC, they have to figure out how to dispose of Agent Malik’s body. But before they can do that, they get a lead on the Bizarro FC’s shadowy leader, the ex-Mossad agent named Eli Cohn. One of Jack’s parishioners happens to know Cohn. Through him they set up a meeting somewhere, but it comes with conditions: Jack comes alone, and nobody follows him. Luckily Ryan just so happens to have some kind of V Tracker potion that’s undetectable with human technology, and if Jack drinks it, they can pinpoint his location exactly.

Jack goes to the meeting and gets whisked off to a cabin in the woods somewhere. Erica, Ryan, and Hobbes arrive shortly after Jack does, they blow the door down, seize control of the situation, and finally we meet Eli Cohn. The show goes to great lengths to make him sympathetic despite all the massacring he’s been up to lately, and to do that they give Cohn a son who died right after being born. It turned out that the V’s were experimenting on the kid, same way they were with Tyler. Now Cohn wants to ally himself with Erica and the gang, but they still aren’t totally cool with working alongside an amoral asshat. So he makes them a deal: two of his men will take responsibility for the morning’s slayings, and they’ll take the fall for Agent Malik’s disappearance last week. Erica and the others hem and haw about moral relativism for a while, like they have for the past four episodes, but ultimately, they go for it.

Hobbes and Ryan quickly head back to the hideout to grab the body and transport it to the cabin. Later, Erica leads Bolling and the rest of the FBI to the very same cabin to orchestrate the plan. They bust in, find Cohn’s men, find what’s left of Malik’s body in a bathtub, and it looks like all is well…until later, when we learn there’s more to Bolling than we’ve seen. In truth, he isn’t an anti-alien terrorism expert; he’s been sent to investigate Erica.

OK! On to the fingerbanging! Anna’s been investigating Father Jack for his potential Fifth Column ties, and this week she gets thrown a curve ball: the leaders of the Catholic Church publicly express their doubts about the V’s. So, Anna gathers her pal Chad to fly over to the Vatican to fix this.
Anna sits down with some cardinal or other and gets straight to the point. She has a deal: she’ll let the Catholic Church come onboard her ship and proselytize to her people, as long as they promise to denounce Jack as a heretic. It looks like a go, but then a suspicious-looking priest whispers in the cardinal’s ear and prevents the deal from going down. Long story short, the priest is a V sleeper agent who’s since gone rogue and come to sympathize with the humans. So now Anna’s got him to deal with, too.

Now the show takes a somewhat ill-advised foray into theology. Anna points out to the cardinals that people become Catholics for one reason only: miracles! What if Anna were to perform some miracles of her own? Oh wait! Anna already HAS performed miracles. For example, she pulls out some Blue Energy and sends the harmless ball lightning around the room. And that’s all it takes to get the leadership of one of the world’s largest and most powerful religions to do whatever she wants.

With that finished, Anna takes the rogue sleeper-priest back onboard the mothership to see Diana, who originally sent him to Earth. Anna plans to torture the guy to get him to tell her about the human soul, but before she can do that, Diana mercy-kills him, leaving Anna to dwell on this bullshit for another week.

The show has a couple more goings-on I can’t really fit in here…Ryan’s still reporting to Anna for the sake of his daughter, but once again it has no effect on the actual episode. Which means that when Anna raises the stakes this week and makes him infiltrate Eli Cohn’s outfit, it’s not particularly tense. And Tyler gets really mad that some terrorist jerks killed his Peace Ambassador friends, so he blames Jack for his anti-V rhetoric and goes on a rampage in the sacristy of Jack’s church.

Check back Friday for the whole post-mortem!