About Last Night: Breaking Bad, Desperate Housewives, Amazing Race

Last night was all about eliminations, meth, and stranglings. Come on in!

Breaking Bad: Chooch

It’s all about Hank. I’ve never been a real fan of Walt’s DEA brother-in-law. He’s been so one dimensional with his ‘bravado’ attitude that I deemed him an asshole. That is until this season. Hank is like an onion (to quote Donkey) & his layers are being peeled back to show a whole new character. His shoot-out in El Paso changed him & he came to terms with that on tonight’s episode.

We are first given a glimpse of those dorky, murdering twins early years. Uncle Bellringer is watching the two of them, as young muchachos, fighting in the backyard. When one declares that he hates the other & wishes him dead, the uncle obliges by holding the hated twin under the ice water of the beer cooler. The other must fight to save him. Lesson learned… Uncle Bellringer is psycho!

The first thing Hank did was go to Jesse’s house & beat the livin’ shit out of him. Still pissed about lawyer Sal’s phone call falsely claiming his wife was in a serious accident, Hank took it out on Jesse. He was man enough to call for an ambulance & even owned up to what he had done. The layers are peeling.

Jesse & Walt fight it out in the hospital over who cooks the best meth, but by the end of the hour, come to an agreement. Meanwhile, Hank goes to his department hearing & ends up getting suspended without pay. The scenes with him & his wife in the elevator are classic… (more peeling). I was getting concerned that this wasn’t going anywhere & was afraid it was another set-up episode. DAMN!! ….Was I wrong. I will not tell you what happened next… just that it was another “OMG! ….edge of your seat… holy shit” moment that makes us keep coming back for more.

The Tudors is also one of my favorite Sunday night shows. Once again, I can not wait for King Henry to cut off his new bride’s head. All I saw on last night’s show was Queen Catherine taking off her clothes every chance she got. She screwed the King, then the King’s secretary. Later she gives the same dude a blow job & later jumps his bones again. I think she banged the King one more time too. At least next week someone finally squeals on her & there promises to be torture & beheadings. It’s about time!

Desperate Housewives: Hypnotoad

EVERYBODY’S CRAZY!!  Eddie’s crazy because he tries to beat the crap out of anyone who gives Lynette the stink-eye (cuz he lives with her now, dontcha know)!  Even Porter!  And Tom!  And he’s just all-around creepy.  And annoying.  And none of us still care about him!  Like at all.  Lynette’s like, “Hmmm, maybe I should talk to his mom.”  Um, good luck with that, since Eddie killed her last week!

Oh, and Sam’s crazy because, turns out, he lied about his mom dying of cancer!  She’s actually alive and working at a grocery store.  Bree’s like, “Hmmm, maybe I should talk to his mom.”  Which she totally can because she’s one of the 8 people Eddie hasn’t strangled yet.  Just give him time, people.  Give him time.  And then Sam freaks out when Bree confronts him and he throws a vase!  And Bree doesn’t know if she can trust him any more!

Oh, and Patrick Logan’s crazy!  Remember how we all thought Angie was involved in some eco-terrorism gone wrong?  Turns out, we were right.  Again.  Is it comforting that this show is so predictable now?  No.  No it is not.  Oh, and also, he hits Nick Bolen with his car.  Wow, we certainly haven’t seen that on this show before.  Twice.  So Angie tells Danny to get the hell out of Dodge and lay low in a Super 8 for awhile.  But things don’t always turn out so easy — Patrick breaks in to Angie’s house and tries to eco-terrorize her!  He makes her separate her paper and plastic!  He makes her shop with reusable grocery bags!  He forces her to compost!  COOOOMMMMPOOOOSSST!  Actually, he just threatens her in whispered tones.  Ooooh, scary.  Except completely not.

Gabby finds out that Mike borrowed money from Carlos and then blabs about it all to Susan, which is gossipy and rude.  Basically — it’s par for the course for Gabby. So they hatch a scheme to try to get back at their husbands for keeping secrets, and you guys, it’s actually really, really hilarious.  Annnnnd stay tuned for the recap, folks!

Amazing Race: Bbitz

We narrowed it down to 3 teams last night! Next week’s the finale! Whaaaaa?!

We start off learning that Cord was once kicked in the head by a horse and almost died. Crazy! I mean, Ms. Teen, yeah I would expect it. But not Cord! Maybe that’s why Team Such As takes the lead and Ms. Teen tries to redeem herself. Meanwhile, the Lover Brothers and Team Dicks team up because they can’t find THE FIRST CLUE BOX. Yikes. It doesn’t get much better.

Will Ms. Teen prove us all wrong by counting above 20 without the aid of fingers and toes?! Will Team Cowboys give a whoopin’ to the other teams again?! Will Team Dicks enjoy some Chinese food (by which I mean a whole Chinese person) or will Jordan enjoy some Cream of Sumyun Gui? Stay tuned for my full recap!