Dancing With the Stars: Chooch
Somehow, my most favorite show in the whole world has lost some of it’s appeal for me. I KNOW….. Isn’t that just crazy. I’m depressed that Pamela Anderson is gone before Chad or even Niecy. She could dance circles around both of them. I blame myself. I have voted for her every week. I proudly posted my weekly choice on Facebook & was soundly chastised for it. That is until last week. I fell asleep & forgot! I hold myself personally responsible for her demise. I’m sure she lost by only 10 votes… my votes & for that, I am truly sorry Pamela.
This week is “ERA Week” with each of the remaining 5 couples having to learn two dances, a Ballroom & a Latin, to fill up the whole 2-hour show. That wasn’t enough though. They had to throw in a “filler” dance by two people, with the same last name, doing some futuristic dance with laser lights. WTF? Save that shit for the results show.
Let’s go from the top of the “leader board” (as Tom calls it) to the bottom:
Of course, Nicole & Derek are at the top. We were shown a montage of her tears, telling us how hard this is for her…whah whah whah…..”It’s not easy!” Please, save it for mom. Their ballroom dance was the FoxTrot & it was, of course, Fan-Fucking-Tastic! The judges gushed. A solid 29.
Their Latin dance had to be set to a ’50′s theme. It was the Paso Doble’. This seemed to totally perplex Derek. A hip-hop Paso? Can’t be done… right? WRONG! It was sooo good, I watched it twice. I may even watch it again. The judges felt the same way. Perfect score 10-10-10! Remember…..”It’s not easy!” Total: 59
Erin & Maks are definitely doin’ it… don’t you think? When Brooke asked them if they were, Maks pushed the mike away. That means it’s serious! “Come on Woman, jump on me NOW!” That was Maks’ direction to Erin while teahing her the Argentine Tango. He wanted her to jump off the stage into a split, with her muffin all up in his face & she was afraid. Maybe she had tuna breath? It was cute tho & when the time came she leapt like a pro. The dance was awesome. Len gave her a 10 & she ended with a 28.
The latin dance was the Rumba, set to the ’80′s theme. Erin wore a “Flashdance” sweatshirt & they wore that awful lavender color. It was a bore for me. The judges agreed & gave her a 25. Total: 53
Evan & Anna are odd ducks. I can’t help but wonder how different things would be it Johnny Weirs had taken on the job instead. Anna thinks Evan needs to work on his “cold attitude” so he takes her ice skating. Makes sense to me. She promises us the most romantic waltz ever….. liar! Evan just can’t connect with a partner. He looks like he’s out there by himself. He NEVER looks at Anna. It’s always the audience he focuses on. It always looks like he’s about to set up for a triple lutz. The judges like it & him better than I did & gave him a 27.
Futuristic Cha-Cha-Cha was their Latin dance. They started out in a cloud of smoke & were dressed like robots. The moves were jerky & choppy like robots would be & Evan nailed it. I loved this dance. It was fun & clean. Len was “confused” by it all. Going from flowing to jerky was too much for him. A 26 from the judges. Total: 53
Chad & Cheryl had to do the Tango, not the Argentine one, the regular one. I don’t like him all that much, so I kinda zone out, check Facebook & feed the cats when he’s on. He should have been gone before Buzz Aldrin who, by the way, was in the audience last night. The judges hated his tango & gave him a 21.
The ’60′s Jive was their second dance. Chad was all into being a pimp, dressed in a red & black, zebra-striped pimp jacket. They pushed & dragged each other around & it didn’t look jivey enough for me. Judges scored them a 24. Total: 45
Niecy is a big loud woman & proud of it. Her & Louie are a perfect pair. She just can’t dance with the big dogs. God bless her for trying tho. We got a little montage of how busy she is with work, kids & DWTS & she’s “tired”! The Viennese Waltz was the first dance & I thought it was beautiful. Tom joked at how polished the dance floor was afterwards. Louie DID sweep the floor with her towards the end. The judges were iffy on the whole & gave them a 23.
They had to do the Paso Doble’, one of my favorites, for the latin dance. In rehearsels, it looked soooo good. She was whirling that skirt & doing everything right. When she got on stage…. ughh! It was a mess. I hated her gold & black skirt. It just didn’t work & the judges agreed with me. Her score was 20. Total: 43.
I think it’s Niecy’s time to go home tonight. I wish it was Chad & it may very well be. This contest is already won & we all know that. I just need to accept it & sit back & enjoy the show.