About Last Night: Friday

Mini caps of My Generation, The Apprentice, and Grey’s Anatomy

My Generation: St. Claire of Assisi

The My Generation pilot is less an hour-long dramatic narrative than it is a saturation bombing campaign. They’ve got nine characters on this show, and goddamn it, we’re going to meet all of them and learn anything that might conceivably be interesting about them before the hour is up.

The premise of My Generation is, a documentary crew filmed nine high school students from Austin in 2000, and now, ten years later, the doc crew returns for their class reunion. Here is everyone in thumbnail sketch…

Rolly: was a jock; is now a soldier in Afghanistan
Kenneth: was a nerd who wanted kids; is now an unmarried, childless elementary school teacher
Brenda: was a vague “overachiever/ethnic person”; is now a DC lawyer
Anders: was a rich kid; is now a rich man
Jackie: was a cheerleader; is now married to Anders
Falcon: was an annoying “rock star”; is now an annoying DJ; (I hope “Falcon” is his real name, too, not a nickname. Like maybe his parents were really into falconry)
Dawn: was a punk girl; is now pregnant and married to Rolly
Caroline: was a quiet smart girl but wound up sleeping with Steve on prom night, which wasn’t so smart because she had his child
Steve: was the class president; is now a surfer/bartender in Hawaii

Luckily they all fit into the standard high school archetypes. If there were anything more unique or interesting than this, I would have lost my mind keeping it all straight for you.

All the information I just foisted on you barely scratches the surface. I’d probably need some kind of organizational flow chart to lay out everyone’s romantic, personal, and familial relationships, AND the ways their lives tie into the Big News events from the past decade. To give you a sense of things, there are two separate love triangles among the group. TWO!

And Mini-recapping the pilot’s plot doesn’t really work because I can’t summarize here without including all those tons of information in detail. Check the full recap for that. But the bare bones were…Caroline telling Steve about their son; Kenneth finding out he’s infertile; Jackie and Steve reconnecting; and Dawn staying with Kenneth while Rolly is overseas, which is a problem, because Kenneth is in love with her. When he went to the sperm bank to determine his fertility, she’s the mental image he used to masturbate with.

See you Sunday for the full recap!

Hello Gasmii! And here begins another season of Grey’s Anatomy. I stopped watching this show a few years ago due to the whining and constant boinking in the on-call bunk room (sanitary!) but decided to jump back in once someone got shot. Finally.

So last season ended with a rampage of gunfire in Seattle Grace, the worst hospital in the country. Four people were killed, probably because their contracts were up and their storylines were such a bore, and our beloved McDreamy, Patrick Dempsey, was shot point-blank. Now he’s important to the show, so no worries – he’s alive and his hair is perfect. Thank God he wasn’t shot through the bouffant.

The whole episode surrounds which surgeons are given “clearance” to resume cutting people open. As if they should have been given that in the first place! Derek is given clearance despite the fact that he’s on an adrenaline rush and turns his commute into Top Gear every chance he gets – and has to be bailed out by Meredith every morning. Hope she stops for Dunkin’ before she gets there. She’s looking awfully puffy, I’m guessing from the baby weight which is why you should always adopt from some Asian country.

The shrink leading the “clearance” brigade is totally hot and hooks up with Kim Raver (not a patient, so the skeeve factor is relatively low). Slowly but surely everyone gets their clearance back except Meredith who hasn’t come clean about the miscarriage to Derek or the shrink and Christina who has her nose buried in wedding magazines thanks to Dr. Ginger. God, their kids are going to be fugly.

Derek performs brain surgery on someone whose face they actually have to split down the middle for christ’s sake (thanks ABC censors, for not doing your JOB), Karev prefers to keep his bullet inside his body (although poking out) because “chicks dig it,” Lexi shaved off her eyebrows and tells Karev she saved him, and some random people (I’m guessing either new interns or people from Seattle West or people who faked their medical degrees mill around) are trying to get their hands around the fact they were part of a “mass murder” or “murder spree.” Group therapy is fun, isn’t it?

The episode ends with Mere leaving Derek in jail where he belongs (and will get passed around for cigs tout suite), Christina getting married in a dress I would kill for, Callie drunkenly asking her girlfriend to move in with her and get a blow dryer and McSteamy looking really, really old. Dude, it’s call Just For Men. Look into it – Derek may have some he can share.

The Apprentice: Swellmel

In last night’s episode, Android David made his first move in global domination by becoming Project Manager for Team Octane while Poppy took charge of the women’s team Fortitude.

This week’s challenge was to sell ice cream on the street. Android David announced this would be a piece of cake, “Humans love ice cream and those who are lactose intolerant are inferior and should die.”

“After hearing Android David threaten to incinerate those who lack the enzyme to digest milk, I made the conscious decision to keep my lactose intolerance on the DL.”

Check back Sunday for the complete recap.