About Last Night: Friday

Mini caps of Grey’s Anatomy and Watch What Happens with Camille.

Grey’s Anatomy: NinjaStarr

Mer’s hostile baby incubator is still on the fritz. But its wrath is nothing compared to Callie’s. Having to watch her old girlfriend move into her old apartment directly across the hall is a foul way to start the day. It would’ve made Ellen DeGeneres, the world’s happiest lesbian, kick off her dancing shoes and put on some nasty.

At the hospital, Chief Webber fires the starting gun for the race to become chief resident. By the end of the day, all but one are tied for never-going-to-happen-in-this-lifetime. The first-year medical students assigned to the residents have told the Chief what they thought about their day shadowing the drama kings and queens of Seattle Grace. Poor students could’ve learned more playing a game of Operation, and not the deluxe edition either. Alex is the only one who received a good evaluation. Just as I’ve always suspected, thongs go a lot further with teachers than apples.

The end was a twister. Mark’s going to be a baby daddy. Does the M.D. behind these chicks’ names stand for Mostly Dumb. How could someone with the GPA to get into med school go bareback on a man who the Center for Disease Control & Prevention has on speed dial?

Check back in a few days for the full recap.

Watch What Happens Live: Flipit

Camille showed up on Bobblehead Andy Cohen’s show last night to be…not an asshole! I couldn’t believe it! I think she finally met someone who wasn’t on her payroll that explained to her very slowly that she’s a total jerk and needs to tone it down or something, cuz she was kinda decent. Thank God it’s too late to show that kind of behavior on Housewives, or she would just be empty instead of empty and entertainingly self absorbed. Let’s get to it.

First off, she kept doing this eye flutter thing, like she thinks she’s Norma Fucking Desmond. Or like hundreds of paps are trying to shoot her pic and her pupils are having to readjust a million times a minute. Andy started off by talking about Frasier’s affair and new beau. Subtle, that one. I am always surprised at how much fun he has ripping apart his cast members on TV and treating them with no respect. It reminds me that these shows are meant to be fun, even though they involve the emotional destruction of kids and stuff. Well hey, so does the Disney Channel. How many kids has that network fucked up? Should we just take it off the air? No. No we should not. Because sometimes good can come out of it, too. There’s always a sunny side!

Yesterday was the first time Cam met Flight Attendant. She said it was weird and that Flight “has a very strong handshake.” HA. Flight’s a dyke. Diss one. Andy gives her shit for going to the Tonys after she just got dumped, and Cam says that she was really trying to make it woooork. She flew like ten friends in, bought two new dresses and chose the one Frashe hated, and made out with Tennis Ho. If that’s not a road to redemption, I don’t know what is. What about Shlemiel’s appearance on Howard Stern? Well, she and Howie have a rapport going, you know? Uh huh. He’s most comfortable with porn stars and midgets. You and Jiggy he loves, everyone else in the world can suck it. Point is, what is up with her suggesting Frasier is a kinky crossdressing sexless kinda gay dude? She giggles and chirps, as she does through the entire interview, and says that she was just trying to be funny but yes Kelsey is a kinky crossdressing sexless kinda gay dude.

Andy wants to know more about the whole “sexless part.” How many times did they have sex in a day? A year? A decade? Ever? What is sex? Mouth? Gina? Butt? Good lord Andy back down. She slyly says that they were occasionally intimate, but doesn’t specify what that means. I kinda got the impression that they made out a couple times and impregnated some nannies. Every relationship is different, k?

There is a montage of her communication skills: the shrug, the eye roll, and the laugh. It kinda makes her look cute. What is this show DOING to me? The longer you know someone, the more you accept their bs. It’s why you should never. Get close. To anyone. The first day I found it acceptable that my dog was shitting out in public for everyone to see was the day I should have had her put down.

Camille’s answer to her terrible communication skills? “I guess I’m insecure.” HAHAHAH! REALLY? Cuz I heard someone at the airport called you insecure and you lost your shit about it. Andy shows clips of her as a hired dancer to work Bar Mitzvahs. HAHAH. He’s an evil, evil bobblehead. Then he asks if her boobs are fake. She doesn’t answer that. Her early onset scoliosis did for her.

Caller question! Did your friend Medium hint that maybe your husband was cheating on you? Well, Cam thinks that the predictions about Kyle and Mauricio were meant for her and her own husband. EW! “He likes his nannies!” That’s grosser to think about that Frashe in a glitter thong.

Come to bed, daddy.

Why was she so mean to Faye? Cuz Faye capitalized on murders to sell book and get into Playboy. Camille only capitalized on alcoholism for her money. See the difference? But Faye’s a woooonderful peeeerson and Cam is embaaaaarrassed that she aaaacted that waaaay. Then she laughs and chirps and shrugs and says she had a great time on the show and that the cast was wooooonderful to her. LOLOLOLL. Andy has a good laugh at that one too, cuz she’s not kidding.

Does she have any friends she doesn’t pay? Well, there’s Hair Friend, but Andy reminds her that she does, in fact pay hair friend. Well, there are a bunch of real friends! Name one….ummmmmmm…..just trust me. At this point I’m getting bleary eyed. As if sensing it, Bobblehead whips out a game. It’s called Is There a Bigger Asshole on the Planet Than Camille? Then he confronts her on every embarrassing thing she’s done on the show. Cam was never a hooker, never a stripper, never banged Tennis Ho. And the apartment in NY was too small for her. When the game is over and she has been officially dragged along the streets for the plebs to kick and spit on, Andy smiles his giant bobble spitty smile and gushes “did you have FUN?!?!” He makes being mean look gross.

Camille was pretty graceful with all of that, and it was weird and refreshing to see her have a good laugh at herself, even if she didn’t seem to get the joke. As they go to break, Andy sings a little Boy George and Camille says that her nickname used to be Karma Cumilian, and laughs. The audience (of five PAs and Hair Friend) crack up. Camille doesn’t seem to get why. And that’s what makes her so…special.

I checked out some YouTube clips of Kelsey on Dave Letterman, but he didn’t say much about Shlemiel. The only news is that his son can’t read. Well at least the kids at school will have something new to make fun of him for. Thanks, Dad! Also, he’s planning on marrying Flight Attendant in February!! HAHAH. He will never learn, will he? I say let Camille quit and bring on Flight. xo