About Last Night: Monday

Mini caps of Boardwalk Empire and Desperate Housewives

Boardwalk Empire: Alejandra

Nucky’s still beset by bullshit despite his new affair with Margaret. His ward boss gets knocked on the head and loses the day’s take. It takes Nucky all of five seconds to tell Eli to bring in Mr. Charles “Lucky” Luciano, who’s been awfully busy in bed with Gillian lately. They bring him in, and after some pushing and shoving, make it clear that Luciano had better help them figure out what the hell happened, repair the damage AND treat Gillian like a lady. Or else.

Also, Mayor Hague is back from Jersey City to work out the highway payoff. It’s all taken care of, but Hague lets it slip that Senator Edge is not to be trusted, and while Nucky’s spending time greasing the wheels, he misses a date with Margaret.

Speaking of which, this is a fairly up and down episode for her. She starts off on a high sharing love in the afternoon with Nucky and accepting his offer of a magical life for her and her children – which involves quitting her job and calling Lucy a one-trick slut all in the space of ten minutes. But, a few people throw some judgment her way, and Nucky stands her up, so she’s waiting by her brand new phone by the end of the episode. A new phone that does not ring… Because Nucky’s with a singing prostitute who plays the ukulele.

Jimmy actually seems to be doing okay in the wake of Pearl’s death. I mean, he’s not taking tap lessons or anything, but he doesn’t have his mouth wrapped around an opium pipe like I thought he would. He helps plan a very effective coup of Sheridan’s operation, and gets a little closer with Al… for better or for worse. By the end of the episode, Torrio’s his new Nucky and it looks like he may stay in Chicago longer than he thought.

And finally, Van Alden. Creepy, creepy Van Alden. He gets visited by his boss who ignores the pretty accurate case he’s built against Nucky, and gets scolded for being obsessed with Margaret. So he decides to go to her house. Pfft. Her neighbor, in so many words, lets him know of Margaret’s change in situation, and he flogs himself to her picture that night. I didn’t get it either.

Desperate Housewives: Hypnotoad

Renee’s been bitchy with Lynette and Bree, so what’s a gal to do but move on to Gabby?  Gabs and Ren-Ren gab over champagne and it’s totes fun!  Until each of them reveals a secret that the other promises not to reveal.  I sure hope they can keep these secrets for an entire episode or things will turn out horribly wr — oh.  Okay.  Well, I hope ya’ll like cat fights, cuz here comes another one!

Tom’s mom comes to help out with the baby, and shocker, Lynette doesn’t like her.  Not because she’s a bad person or annoying, but because she likes to cook and dote over her grandchildren.  That bitch!  So, she and Tom fight about it.

Bree and David Silver continue their affair, but Bree can’t keep up with David Silver’s uber-boner and his mission to have sex 18 times a night.  Hilarity ensues.  Well, to be fair, I guess barely interesting things ensue.

Susan tries to have her private cam session with a rich client, but it turns out she’s not really comfortable being a cyber slut, so she’s fired.  But LandLainie does have one mysterious client who’s willing to pay a lot of money to see her ta-tas . . . and he’s very insistent . . . You’ll have to read the recap to find out who Susan’s mystery date is!  Although, if you’re a fan of the show, it’s definitely the guy you’re thinking about.  Oh, the suspense . . . less . . . ness.