About Last Night: Monday

The Walking Dead: St. Claire of Assisi

The biggest question we have going into the second episode of The Walking Dead is, who the heck was that voice on the radio mocking Rick just after he scrambled inside the tank escape the zombies? But before we get to learn the answer, the episode takes us to the survivor encampment where Shane, Lori, and Carl are staying. Pretty much all that happens here is, Shane sneaks up on Lori while she’s foraging for mushrooms, they start going at it, and he discovers she’s been wearing her wedding band on a chain around her neck this entire time. Awwwwkward. (But not too awkward, because they do continue having sex).

Now then, over to Atlanta, where the episode really begins. The voice doesn’t bother explaining himself and instead tells Rick how he can escape from the tank, which Rick does, and Rick soon finds himself face-to-face with the source of the voice, a survivor named Glenn. Glenn isn’t alone. He takes Rick inside a barricaded up department store to meet the others, most of whom are pissed. All of Rick’s gunfire has attracted the zombie horde to the department store’s front entrance. On that note they hear more shooting. It’s the last member of the party, Merle, who’s up on the roof popping zombies with a sniper rifle. They run upstairs and confront him. He’s wearing a vest w/ no shirt and is a big time racist and doesn’t take kindly to people of color—of which the survivor party has four—giving him orders, so that sets off a huge brawl. Merle kicks everyone’s asses and tries to make a power grab to run the group, but not before Rick decks him with the butt of the rifle and handcuffs him to a pipe. Welcome to Hotlanta, Rick.

Rick’s group of survivors is apparently in occasional radio contact with Shane’s encampment on the outskirts of the city, and they try to hail them on the walkie-talkie without success. So now they have to figure out an escape plan for themselves. First Glenn and another survivor, Morales, venture down into the sewers, but ultimately the tunnel is impassable. As everyone regroups to figure out what do to next, the zombies at the front entrance have broken through one of the two sets of glass doors on the department store, so Rick thinks fast to come up with Plan B. He saw a construction site nearby and knows those sites always keep keys on-hand for their various heavy vehicles. But how to bypass the zombie hordes outside? Well, the zombies can detect humans by smell as well as sound, so Rick and Glenn must smear themselves with zombie guts to mask their humanness. Awesome!

Unfortunately, soon after Rick and Glenn leave the department store in their zombie disguises, it begins to rain. With the disguises washed off, the zombies wise up to their presence and chase them into the construction site, where Rick and Glenn barely manage to get into a huge moving van and speed away. Now, to rescue the remaining survivors, Rick needs Glenn to draw the zombie hoards away from the department store entrance so he can take the moving van to the loading dock. Knowing zombies are attracted to car alarms from last week’s episode, Rick and Glenn hotwire a car, set off its alarm, and Glenn entices the zombies to follow him away.

When Rick arrives at the department store, the survivors have to decide whether to free Merle or to leave him there chained to the roof. All of them opt to abandon him except one, T-Dog, aka the guy Merle was racist towards earlier. T-Dog feels guilty, runs back to rescue Merle, but trips and loses the handcuff key down a drain. Even though he also drops a bag full of tools, including a hacksaw, T-Dog panics and decides he’s done all he can for Merle, leaving him to the pipe to die. Obviously Merle will be showing up later wanting to murder everybody. Downstairs, Rick manages to get everyone into the van heads for the survivor encampment, where things are sure to be a bit uncomfortable once he discovers his best friend chose to bang his wife rather than rescue him from a coma. The episode ends on Glenn in his stolen car, having outrun the zombies, roaring down the highway out of the city.

That’s the episode. Tons of action, but also plenty of nice little thematic elements and character moments I didn’t get to put in here, so and check back WEDNESDAY for the full recap!

Boardwalk Empire: Alejandra

Nucky’s in Chicago for the National Republican Convention and Eli’s at home in charge. Nucky sells out Walter Edge for Warren Harding. I wonder if his investment will pay off… Eli gets shot interrupting the D’Alessio robbery of Lolly’s casino, and Nucky calls Margaret to take care of his affairs until he can get home. Which I’m sure she does, but but I can’t really recall because she slaps the shit out of Lucy within the first five minutes of the episode, and I can’t really remember much else…

Jimmy has a decision to make – Nucky humbles himself (sort of) and asks Jimmy back to AC. He tells Jimmy as much as he feels at home with Torrio and Al, he’ll always be Irish and they’ll always be Italian. Nucky also tells Jimmy to take better care of Angela, an we learn that Nelson has been intercepting all of Jimmy’s mail. Not a cent has gotten past Van Alden. However, after a visit with his wife, he sends the money to Angela. You’d think this was a good thing, but in doing so, he denies his wife the money for an operation that would allow her to have an operation that would enable her to have children. So yeah, he’s weird, no real change there.

Oh wait, I guess there is one thing I remembered about Margaret this episode. She finds out everything about Nucky’s criminal activities (except for the murder of her husband, but I’m sure that’s not far behind).

Desperate Housewives: Hypnotoad

No one told Bree and Keith that it’s not 1994 anymore, which is the only reasonable explanation for their love of roller blading. But that love comes crashing down when Bree has the first of many hot flashes. Oh, menopause. The inevitable plot point of any show with women over a certain age. Will Keith still love Bree even if she’s sweaty and sterile?

Renee and Lynette start an interior design business, in the span of about 10 minutes, which is completely reasonable. But Renee, being the child-hater that she is, won’t let Lynette have her baby around them when they’re working. The solution? Susan as Paige’s nanny. It sounds like more fun than it is, people.

And Beth finally gives in to Paul’s sexual demands, and finds out more of his secrets, which in turn reveals one of Beth’s secrets. Oooooh, barely mysterious!

Oh, and Gabby’s worried that Carlos and Bob are going to slap on some leather holsters, break out the K-Y, turn on some Judy Garland, and swing on it ’til dawn. Which in my house is called Thursday night.