About Last Night: Monday

The Walking Dead: St. Claire of Assisi

All of us who were wondering if the show would return to Merle at some point didn’t have to wait long, as Episode Three opens right on him, a while after he’s been left for dead. He’s going batty due to the isolation, exposure, dehydration, and general anguish from the way he’s been treated. Even worse, the zombies have finally make it up to the door that T-Dog padlocked last episode. They’re starting to pound their way in. If Merle could just reach that hacksaw…

Rick and the scavenger party, meanwhile, arrive back at the survivor encampment outside Atlanta, where Rick, Lori, and Carl share a tearful reunion, and Lori and Shane share an awkward, “what the fuck do we do now?” moment. Later, Rick learns from Dale, (who’s turning into something of a Wise Man character), that, unfortunately, Merle has a brother Darryl who’s staying at the encampment and is presently off on a hunt. Rick and the other members of the scavenger party already feel guilty about what they’ve done to Merle, and now they consider how they should handle Darryl. Tell him the truth? Make something up about Merle dying? Avoid him? Or what? In maybe my favorite moment of the episode, they fail to come up with a plan. At least it looks like Rick and Lori will begin to patch things up, though.

The next morning, Rick and the others hear Carl off yelling in the forest. They grab some weapons to investigate, and they find that Carl has come across a zombie. The guys beat it down, but this is a bad omen—it’s the first walker that’s reached the encampment since the apocalypse. Not good. And after this, Darryl shows up in camp. Seeing that the scavenger party has returned, he wants to know where his brother is, and Rick, being a paragon of virtue, decides to just tell the truth. Schmuck. Learning that his brother was willfully abandoned does not sit well with Darryl, but Rick also has a plan to placate him: T-Dog thinks the padlock is strong enough to hold back the zombies, so Rick vows he will go back to Atlanta to rescue Merle. (But also to retrieve bag of guns and the walkie-talkie, so he can warn Morgan and Duane not to go near Atlanta). Obviously, Lori and Carl don’t much like Rick’s plan, but they can’t talk him out of it, and neither can Shane. So, the rescue party will include Rick and Darryl, plus Glenn, (because he knows his way around Atlanta), plus T-Dog, (because he feels like a shit).

As Rick and the rescuers head to Atlanta, Lori and Shane finally discuss their relationship status now that Rick is back—not only are things over between Lori and Shane, but she also accuses Shane of lying when he told her Rick the hospital was overrun and Rick did not survive. Lori wants nothing to do with Shane for good. After this, Andrea, Jacqui, Amy, and another survivor, Carol, do laundry in the quarry together and share some girl talk, only to be reprimanded for goofing off by Carol’s husband, Ed. The ladies don’t like this new resurrection of the patriarchy, but he just slaps his wife in defiance. And that prompts Shane to go nuts on Ed and beat the hell out of him. Ostensibly it’s Shane’s way of restoring order, as he’s the leader of the survivor group, but really he’s just taking out his frustrations.

In Atlanta, the survivors sneak into the department store, climb the stairs to the roof, and cut through the padlock on the door…only to find that Merle is gone. It looks like he did manage to reach that hacksaw. And saw his own damn hand off. No, really, that’s what Merle did. They find the severed hand just sitting there! Apparently hacksaw couldn’t work through the handcuff chain? Can you believe that? It’s like 127 Hours.

Full recap WEDNESDAY. Be there.

Boardwalk Empire: Alejandra

Dear everyone who thought this show was slow-moving – not anymore. Shit happens this week. Lots of it. For example:

Jimmy comes home to break up Angela’s sexually liberated paradise and then gets arrested by Van Alden. It looks bad what with the witness and all, but then the witness is killed by a very surprising assassin. An assassin who’s identity I can’t ruin. As for Angela, her artist friends will not accept her if she goes back to Jimmy and tries to give her son a family. Hello Rock, my name is Hard Place.

As for Nucky, he’s got his usual slew of issues. First, the elections don’t look good. All of his incumbents are being run against by reformers, so finally he just has to replace the incumbents. One of those incumbents is his brother, so the whole situation is muy awkward. And Margaret – lovely Margaret is asking him for favors now that she’s realized that as his mistress she has some power, but thankfully, she manages to trick him into obliging her. Thus, the stress she adds to his life is minimized. For better or for worse…

Oh, and Gillian finally reveals to Lucky that she’s been playing him all along in a scene that is as entertaining as it is naked.

Finally, everything seems to work out for our heroes until the very last minute when an innocent bystanding lady takes in the chest for Nucky in a botched assassination attempt. Time to head to the mattresses.

Desperate Housewives: Flipit

Susan went from doing mild internet porn to crying because Lynnette’s baby doesn’t get enough love. Yeah, well, welcome to the Scavo family NannyMcrexia. Look at Penny! She didn’t get any love and she’s just fine! A little pasty? Yes. A little blank in the personality department? Sure. Probably a future cutter? Let’s just move on.

Tom and Black Edie got closer and closer and I swear they better not do it or I will never forgive him. I know I said the same thing after the pizza shop, but this time I mean it. Gaby had some problems with the new side of her family when she talked the husband into some illegal driving action and he was pulled over by the popo and deported. Woopsies! Illegals really have something to be scared of in that town. I think that’s like the only place in America where that happens. Even in Arizona they give the illegals tents in a work camp or some shit. Pretty harsh, Cherry!

Of course Gabby decides that getting the parents out of the picture might not be such a bad idea for her. She’ll get to keep her little xerox copy of a kid, but on the downside, Juanita will reach a tipping point eventually and strangle that little goody goody so it might be better to keep them in separate homes.

Creepy Paul stirred some emotions in his Creepy Wife and probably won her to his side, which means there are gonna be some more fingers missing from Hubert’s sister’s hands. Also, Bree invited her young stud’s family over for Thanksgiving and a battle ensued, making the about to propose young stud rethink his life. How much hotter is that guy in his thirties, btw? Seems kinda unfair. Oh, yeah, and McClusky was in the episode! Holler! Check back for Hypnotoad’s full recap in a couple of days!