Desperate Housewives Hypnotoad
The ladies from Wisteria Lane are back! And they are mediocre-er than ever! In last night’s what-should-and-could-have-been-great-but-ended-up-lackluster episode, everyone feels the ramifications of the riot. Mostly Susan, though, who was trampled upon by the entire population of Fairview and now has only one kidney because the other was . . . well, trampled on. Or something. Which would be okay, except that her other kidney, much like Sarah Palin’s brain, only functions at 5%. So, Susan needs dialysis and a transplant.
Renee finally breaks the news of her affair with Tom from 20 years ago to Lynette, and Lynette’s reaction? Suffice to say that if you were starting to love Lynette again, be prepared to bring your hate hat and your bitch bonnet, because it’s over, people. Game over.
Gabby and Carlos put Juanita in therapy because she’s having a hard time dealing with the fact that Mommy loved the real and skinny daughter better than the fake and chubby one. The therapist tells them to get rid of everything that reminds them of Grace, and Gabby’s reaction? At first it’s just annoying. But then? Things get weird and eepy-cray.
Bree has a mysterious visitor from the past — okay, fine, it’s Orson — who threatens her relationship with Keith, causing him to want to break up with Bree for the fifteenth time in eleven episodes.
Which brings us to Paul Young. Who shot Paul Young? Was it Betty Applewhite? Was it Penny? Was it Maggie Simpson? Read the recap to find out! Except they totally haven’t revealed who it was yet, so that’s not actually in my recap. Sorry. But read it anyway, because ANOTHER mystery person returns this week! And this one’s sexy! I promise.