About Last Night: Sarah Palin’s Alaska

Traditionally, the holidays are a time when most television shows go into repeats because you’re really supposed to be spending time with your family and friends instead of watching reality TV. But because Sarah Palin’s Alaska is a show that refuses to die with any respect, dignity or entertainment value, it trudged along with a brand-new episode last night. The latest installment of the World’s Longest Infomercial was all about self defense. Sarah Palin spent another hour defending herself against those who might have, at one time or another, crossed her very narrow path.

She started with those bastard conservationists who have been on her back about cutting down trees. They write and complain to me on their pretty little paper, with their pretty little pencils — which come from trees! she shrieks at us. Eh. I’m not totally convinced that conservationists have started some sort of snail mail campaign against her. They probably just e-mail her. Seriously, who uses pencils anymore?

Anyway, to prove that she’s not anti-tree, Sarah takes Todd and Willow to a logging camp… where they cut down trees. After learning how difficult and dangerous it is to cut down 30 foot trees, they go out with some local school children to plant some tiny saplings as part of a re-seeding project.

In this episode, Sarah also defends her decision to make up words and use them in public. She defends Willow against teenage laziness by making her middle daughter spend time with a pale, string bean of a man named Tim who makes meals for the loggers at the camp. And in this episode she asks 16-year-old Willow to do a Very Dangerous Thing involving an old stock car, a pile of dirt and a fire truck. But her intent is for Willow to learn about self-esteem and hard work, so she labels it Good Parenting.

Finally, we wrap up the episode observing some Kodiak bears and listening to Sarah wax philosophic about what it means to be a mama grizzly. In the re-cap there will be flirting, Eskimo Bingo, tips flying at your face, and more parenting tips. Come prepared to take notes!