About Last Night: The Oscars

Recaps

By Flipit | Monday, February 28, 2011 | 11:32 am | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , ,
Posted in: About Last Night, Featured, Recaps

The minute I heard James Franco and Anne Hathaway were hosting the Oscars this year, I knew the Academy had pretty much just given up. Then the “special behind the scenes clips” of James and Anne prepping for the Oscars started coming, and it became clear that this was gonna be more painful than I suspected. But still, I had hope.

Hope that it would be so terrible that it would cross over into funny land. That didn’t happen. The opening was fun enough. The stahs were cut into all the best pic nominees. At least Franco didn’t try to tap dance. And look! It’s Alec Baldwin being funny! Maybe this won’t be so bad!

Screen Shot 2011-02-28 At 11.13.09 Am
And then the opening patter started.

Franco and Hathaway joked at the top of the show that they were brought in for a younger demographic and called this year’s show “The Young and Hip Oscars.” As written by bitter fifty year olds. A texting joke? SO YOUTHFUL! If you want young people, get the Harry Potter cast. Or nominate some movies that were seen by young people. Or just fucking ignore the young people. They’re already going to the movies and they’re not gonna sit still for three and half hours of agent thank yous. Please the older fat pasty people who pay to see movies like King’s Speech, mofos! I can’t be the only one that was thinking that. The audience almost collectively peed on the floor when Billy Crystal came out.

Fitting that on Youth night, the best part of the show was Kirk Douglas f ing with the best supporting actress nominees. The second best part was the “that bitch is cracra” look Helena Bonham carter had on her face while Melissa Leo took her sweet ass time pretending she was shocked to win. As the night wore on, Anne Hathaway pretended harder and harder that she was Julia Roberts with her horsey laugh and Franco got more and more bored. Towards the end, he looked downright mad that he was tricked into doing this show.

Screen Shot 2011-02-28 At 11.25.24 Am

The Academy did away with big song and dance numbers this year and inserted lots of edited montages instead. They were the best part. The movies auto-tuned to hip hop music was pretty awesome, and the best pic montage under The King’s Speech speech was pretty tight, too. Unfortunately, editors can only do so much. The biggest problem with the night wasn’t even the hosts. It was the winners. I know that these people are ARTISTS and not necessarily public speakers, but surely they know someone who could give them speech advice. Leo was obnoxious, but Patrick Bateman was downright scary. He tried so hard to convince the world that he was super nice and not the insane cursing madman we saw on that YouTube video. I like the crazy one better. Glad Natalie Portman won, but I want the three minutes she used for that speech back.

All in all, a pretty snoozy year. Bring back Billy!

Screen Shot 2011-02-28 At 11.03.50 Am
Not ok.

Flipit
About

Currently, Flipit's writing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recaps, which you can find here. You can also find him doing a gossip segment twice a week called BS of the Day and video recaps of Project Runway All Stars, as well as spoof ReDubs of the coming soon trailers at the end of RHOBH!

Ronnie Karam has been with TVgasm since 2006 , which has given him the opportunity to make fun of hundreds of TV's most loved and hated reality whores. His plan in life was to be Julia Roberts but that plan was stolen by, well, Julia Roberts. He'll get you one day, JULIA ROBERTS!! When not making himself giggle for the gasm, Ronnie performs improv and sketch comedy at IO West in Hollywood a couple of times weekly while using the lovely California days to audition for commercial roles such as "ADORABLE MEXICAN UNCLE". Seriously. He would like to thank Jesus, Buddha and Xenu for the blessings they've bestowed. The writers here are the best around, and he's honored to be associated with them. Find video archives at CankleTV.com, or follow on Twitter @flipit

11 Comments

  1. 1
    JC
    Posted February 28, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    You actually watched the Oscars? HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa…

    Loser.

  2. 2
    LAC
    Posted February 28, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Lord, almost wished that Quadafi was hiding in the audience so that Libyan rebels could attack the event, because it was that bad…Thank God for some “Housewife” marathons.

  3. 3
    Kimberly
    Posted February 28, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    The only time James looked remotely like he was having any fun was when he was in that Marilyn getup. Methinks he has a secret life!

  4. 4
    Miss Molly
    Posted February 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    I really wanted Bansky to win just so we would have something to talk about today. I mean other than Charlie “Rock star from Mars”.

  5. 5
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted February 28, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    We can still talk about what a talentless hack Banksy is (well, he is good at creating hype and marketing himself) even though he lost.

  6. 6
    Gilty Plezzur
    Posted February 28, 2011 at 6:56 pm

    Kirk Douglas should’ve hosted the whole thing.

  7. 7
    JudgyWudgy JudgyWudgy
    Posted March 1, 2011 at 5:03 am

    The Academy Awards are not something that need to be young and hip. And Anne Hathaway, Natalie Portman and Christian Bale are the bane of my existence, so that pretty much sums up my night.

  8. 8
    LAC
    Posted March 1, 2011 at 7:41 am

    Is it as bad as when Rob Lowe danced with Snow White? No, but it was a strain to watch and man, i wanted to slap some Anne Hathaway. I think James Franco did too.

  9. 9
    Mister Dangerous
    Posted March 1, 2011 at 8:06 am

    I’m glad Colin Firth won because I like Mr. Darcy (from like 20 years ago) and even though the movie wasn’t great (A SINGLE MAN) I like Colin Firth in that too. KING’S SPEECH much better than SOCIAL NETWORK so the deserving film won. Forget Billy. Bring back Bob Hope.

  10. 10
    Yanksfan24
    Posted March 1, 2011 at 8:06 am

    James Franco looked stoned the whole time!

  11. 11
    soapboxx
    Posted March 2, 2011 at 10:36 am

    Major suck fest and the set design might have been impressive in person but came across on TV as dull. Even the dresses were boring, there were like ten flesh tone beaded numbers. I say let Charlie Sheen host while smoking his seven gram crack ball. That would draw the young crowd, entertain us old 60′s survivors, and by the end of the night Sheen would look and act like Kirk Douglas.

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