About Last Night: Thursday

Quick takes on SYTYCD, Top Chef, and Work of Art

Top Chef was about Ethiopian food. Starving children would be an uncomfortable pic so here’s Padma naked again. There are endless naked pictures of her in her bday suit. Thanks internet! For making us all feel fat.

So You Think You Can Dance: PottyMouth

I am now convinced that this season of So You Think You Can Dance just might kill me. I mean, I know some rage can be a healthy thing, but surely the amount of rage I’m feeling this season can’t be so good, right?

So we’re down to the final four. And because we still have two hours to fill, not only do we keep the four judge format, we also have extended filler pieces about each of the contestants. Mini commercials of them, if you will. I would much rather have seen an extended solo from each of them.

Guess who the guest judge is this week? Sir BitchyPants. GAH! But then I think, “At least we won’t have to suffer through any of his hack choreography this week.” AND THEN……Cat announces the group routine choreographed by Sir BitchyPants!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?

The agenda for the night is what it has been now for weeks: undermine Adechike and try to convince America that the sun shines out of Robert’s ass. They’re also working hard to try and make sure that Lauren gets to stay and stick her ass out next week. Kent’s unstoppable at this point, and they know it.

Come back for the full recap and we can discuss hip hop that was more jazz than hip hop, the combined bitch factor of having both Mia and Sir BitchyPants on the judging panel, and how fabulous it must be to get to work with your hero. I’m a little jealous, I must admit. See you there!

Top Chef: J-Mo

Ooooh, Top Chef, sometimes you are soooo infyoooriating! Just when I thought I wouldn’t have to see his angularly dragalicious mug for the rest of the summer, you bring La Marquessa (a.k.a. Marcus Samuelsson, winner of Top Chef Master Season Two) back to haunt me again. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the QuickFire Challenge winds up being all about… Ethiopian food? But of course! I mean, who ISN’T familiar with the cuisine of war-torn poverty-stricken third-world nations? Here’s a hint: several of the chefs aren’t.

The Elimination Challenge winds up being all about making international foods, and the chefs get to pick from Mexico, Italy, Spain, France, China, Japan, Thailand, India… and Cameroon. KIDDING, but the real choice is almost as bad: Brazil. I recapped a season of America’s Next Top Model, and the only things I learned about Brazil when Tyra and Co went were that they have a combination dance-slash-martial art called capoeira, and that the poor neighborhoods that house the Brazilian Projects are called favelas. Unfortunately the chef who winds up having to make Brazilian food does not strike me as someone who watches ANTM, so I doubt they even know as much as *I* do about the place.

In the end everyone from all over the world comes together to eat the mediocre dishes put forth by this season’s chefs and then exclaim over them like their tongues just orgasmed everywhere. Oh, and Eric Ripert is a no-show. Again. PLUS, we’re not quite finished with pea-related problems, either. Come back in a couple of days and check out the full recap.

Work of Art: SexyPanda

In last night’s penultimate episode of Work of Art, we cut the wheat from the chaff and sent two packin’. Only three artists get to move on to the finale. So, BRING IT.

The artists visited a park on the coast of Connecticut. Their challenge? Make a piece of art inspired by nature…using some of the park itself as art materials. Some excelled with the challenge, and some stalled.

I found myself highly emotional during the gallery show and the crit. I teared up when a favorite of mine was praised for growth. I cheered when a less-awesome artist took a fall. (Well, I didn’t cheer, I just said a terse “bye” to my TV.) And I outright cried when the winner was announced. And I’m not even on the rag!

But this ain’t about me. Come back later this week to catch up on the last episode of Work of Art before the finale!