About Last Night: Thursday

Mini caps of The Challenge, America’s Next Top Model, Top Chef Just Desserts, and I Love Money

The Challenge: VirginiaApple

This episode starts off with Laurel being a drunken asshole. Again. Only since Mandi’s gone, she decides to last out at Big Easy for no discernable reason other than his lack of sexual appeal. She really is a child and is losing points quickly on the likability scale. Of course, this upsets Easy and gives him the gumption to prove his worth.

The challenge itself involves jumping from platform to platform nice and high above the water. Since any challenge involving heights requires at least one girl to freak out and refuse to participate, Shauvon decides to cry instead of try, DQ’ing her entire team. It’s not at the level of a Casey freakout, but it causes sufficient drama (Sarah’s PISSED, y’all). Also causing sufficient drama is Katie, who- bless her heart- tries really hard (remember when SHE was the weak girl who used to freak out? Our little Katie has come so far!) but is rewarded for her efforts with two black eyes courtesy of a long fall into the water.

The gray team sends Shauvon (without surprise or fanfare) and Vinny (who is NOT happy) into elimination. On the other side, Katie with her bruised face and Easy with his bruised ego are sent to elimination despite the fact that they are veterans. It’s all Bananas’ fault, which is true of pretty much everything on these things, but no one ever tries to stop him. He does come back from a rare night out on the town with a black eye to match Katie’s though, so that’s pretty sweet.

And last but certainly not least, TJ is improving! He’s still got a long recovery ahead of him but he’s on the way. Come back soon for the full recap including, of course, elimination round results and hopefully more TJ updates!

Top Chef: Just Desserts
Last night, Top Chef Just Desserts helped the L.A. Times celebrate 128 years of killing trees. Ooooooo, 128 years! That’s a milestone!

But before we get to their event there is, of course, the quickfire challenge. This week’s quickfire was about making a dessert out of savory ingredients. Oh, and in cast that wasn’t enough to give them all heart attacks, they were only allowed to use one pan. Oh if only psycho Seth were still around…..I can only imagine the meltdown that would have ensued.

The elimination challenge revolves around the previously mentioned milestone anniversary: the L.A. Times is throwing a black and white party to celebrate and the pastry chefs must provide black and white desserts. Olive Oyly is grossed out by this challenge. I continue to be grossed out by her hair.

Join me for the full recap and we’ll discuss yelling at the TV, bacon hogging, and haggy Heather’s imaginary fat lip. See you there!

America’s Next Top Model: P-Baby Walker

Last night on ANTM, the girls spend the first five minutes sitting around talking about how glad they are Kacey’s eye bags are finally gone.  And how, girls.  Then, I guess in an attempt at a mini story arc, Esther talks about how maintaining her kosher diet is hard. She says something about meat and cheese not being able to touch which appalls me as 95% of the food I eat contains some form of cheese and variety of meat touching and melding into greasy bliss in my belly.  I wonder if the 18 mini Reese’s peanut butter pumpkins I ate today are
kosher.  I bet Esther’s Halloween totes sucks donkey balls.

For the challenge, the girls go to the Grammy museum and I would be elbowing people to get off the bus first to see everything.  I am such a sucker for cheesy touristy stuff worn by celebrities.  My parents could never get my ass out of Planet Hollywood back in the 90′s, as I smeared my face against the plastic display case containing Jack and Rose’s costumes from Titanic.  Anyway, the winner of the challenge gets to be a Grammy Girl at the 2011 Grammy awards show, which is kind of awesome and gives the winner a chance to get knocked up by Kanye/John Mayer/Justin Bieber, forever cementing themselves a page in In Touch magazine. The girls pick outfits for each other in teams of two, with Liz and Kayla coming forward as the winning team.

The photo shoot has the models assigned to portray a famous designer alongside an actual professional model modeling the clothes from that designer’s collection.  It’s all very artsy and weird.  It also doesn’t really work for me because I wouldn’t know Alexander Wang if he showed up at my front door with my beef with broccoli (broccori?) and egg drop soup so I have no idea if they are doing it right or not. Most fashion designers are just not iconic looking enough to be portrayed in a photo save for Karl Lagerfeld or Donatella Versace who
were not a part of the selected designers.  So instead of wearing beautiful designs from Marc Jacobs, the models are wearing hooded sweatshirts and glued on facial hair.  Whatever.  Check back in a few days to see who succeeded and who no longer has to pretend not to laugh at Andre Leon Talley’s brown taffeta habit.  Oh, and most importantly, the photographer this episode is a hot piece of ass.

I Love Money: BellaCucina

“Here we are again- another week of Money Lovin’ and I couldn’t be happier!!! What are these crazy kids up to? We are down to 12 people left- 7 on the Gold Team- which Punisher is dominating, and 5 on the Green Team- which Punisher is also dominating. What???

The challenge is a doozy- not only is it physical- but it’s also mental!!! We all know that can create some serious problems for everyone involved! I think the challenge could go all night so pull out a sleeping bag and break out the s’mores!

The Gold Team is contemplating throwing the challenge so they can get rid of Punisher- but the Green Team is proving to be a ridiculously hard team to LET win a challenge…are people really this slow? Apparently so.

The Gold Team pulls out the win, and team captain Garth couldn’t be happier. The question now ends up being who will the Green Team vote in for elimination and who will Garth ultimately choose to let go?? Stay tuned!!”