About Last Night: Thursday

Mini Caps of Work of Art, Top Chef, & So You Think You Can Dance

Work of Art: SexyPanda

Last week’s Work of Art was a dramatic doozy, and the art sucked. We focused totally on Erik’s tantrum and the art itself got lost in the fray. I’m happy to report that this week, the focus was mostly on the art! At least, what “art” someone can create in only a day with limited resources and a camera crew up your heiny-hole.

This week, the artists were tasked with creating something that evoked the artist’s childhood beginnings in art–what inspired him or her to become an artist. Not only that, but they were limited to using the materials found in a children’s art museum in SoHo. Think tempura paints and pipe cleaners.

Some of the artists had no problem with the challenge, easily coming up with a mature concept that used the materials handily. Most, though, struggled with doing more than scribbling on paper with crayons as though they WERE children, which was NOT what the challenge was about.

Drama and snark-wise, this episode was relatively boring. But it hit me in a different way–leaving me teary-eyed at the end. Come back to me later this week. We’ll talk.

So You Think You Can Dance: PottyMouth

This is getting ridiculous. Once again on last night’s So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance), we start the show out missing one dancer in the intro. That’s right. We have ANOTHER FUCKING INJURY this week!!!! What the hell?????

I’m starting to think that Jose may actually have a chance to win this thing if only he can stay uninjured. Can you imagine? *****shudder*****

Kenny Ortega comes to visit, giving us four judges this week instead of our usual three. Couldn’t we have just given Adam or Mia the night off? Kenny is pretty much as useless as the others, talking more about the choreographers in most cases than the actual dancing.

Oh, and it’s the show’s 150th episode. How is this celebrated? By Cat telling us it’s the 150th episode. And by wheeling a giant cake out at the end, which Robert pretends to lick and Jose pretends to smash Robert’s face into. Jose, keep that up and you might become my favorite.

Come back this weekend for the full recap and we’ll talk about guy on guy paso, the unholy trinity, and hip hop that makes you cry. See you there!

Top Chef: J-Mo

Hi everybody! You know how I was bitching last week about how unimaginative the challenges were, and how Top Chef seems to be losing steam? Well, fear not! THIS week I’m gonna bitch because they RE-USED a challenge! Yes, this episode’s QuickFire was none other than the good old Make Something Appetizing Out Of Severed Sexual Organs Challenge, also known as “Exotic Ingredients – Part XVIII”. I guess when in doubt, make ‘em cook up duck dicks.

Ahhhh, but JUST when I thought I might as well press FF, there’s a twist, and it’s mildly interesting and fun. No, I’m not going to tell you here, you’ll just have to wait for the recap or watch the show in one of Bravo’s 6,972 reruns. However, I WILL tell you THIS much… if any of you ever plan to try out for Top Chef, you’d better be able to whip up a dish using deep fried anus. And Thai Basil.

The Elimination Challenge this week has our cheftestants broken up into two groups… NO, it’s NOT a group competition (Praise Gina Gershon!) but instead they’re each going to critique each other’s cold dishes! Oh boy oh boy oh boy, FINALLY they get to judge food the way we recappers do: purely based upon whether or not we like the person who made it.

Other features of this episode: the chefs get to take a pointless boat ride in the Presidential Yacht where KennEgo pretends he’s King Shit On Sewage River. He and JerseyMoobs get their panties in a severe twist over the fact that OranJello’s attempting to help HIS OWN TEAMMATES come up with ideas for cold food that’s tastier and more imaginative than, say, egg salad on pumpernickel. I swear, I thought I was gonna hate the guy based on his Beginning Edit™ but as more time passes and I see how deep the jealousy runs in some of the others (*coughkennegocough*) it becomes clear that OranJello could give each and every one of them an exquisite handjob and they’d still hate on him for something.

One last thing: The CHEFS are actually responsible tonight for choosing two of their peers as winners and two as losers, and the results are not going to be what you’d expect at ALL (mostly). Check back in a couple of days for the new recap! And maybe some new kitty pictures, LOL!

love, J-Mo