About Last Night: Tuesday

Mini Caps of The Event, Gossip Girl, Thintervention, Money Hungry, and Drag U

The Event: Dangerously

So, last night was the series premier of The Event. My first question…how many of you have read Faulkner? If so, I guess you were at least moderately prepared…if not…you’re probably pretty much SOL. Sorry.

I can only kinda tell you what happened. The writers used a plot device which was probably most famously used by William Faulkner…or someone else, since I’m not exactly the biggest Lit nerd…my nerdery is focused in other areas. Anyways, Faulkner is the only one that I’ve read to do this well, and I’m pretty sure that The Event didn’t so much do a great job. What I’m trying to tell you is that, through the reordering of time, they were able to turn about 15 minutes of TV into an hour. That way they get to tell you the same story about 4 times.

So for any of you who haven’t read Faulkner, here’s a summary so that you know what I’m talking about, too. I’m gonna start from the beginning. Now I’m going to the middle. And to the end. And to the middle. And still in the middle. And to the end. And to the beginning, and then back to the end. And I’m going to tell it through the eyes of a mentally handicapped 40 year old. “Sound and the Fury.”

Anyways, in one paragraph, a young couple goes on a sexy cruise to the Caribbean, they meet some other friends their age because sexy young man jumps off a cliff to save other man’s sexy young girlfriend from drowning, and they get drunk, and then sexy young man goes snorkeling with sexy young woman because both of their significant others are in some form or other incapacitated. Weird. So then sexy young man’s girlfriend disappears and somehow there are new people in his room on the cruise ship, and he then ends up on an airplane with a gun and tried to hijack it but he’s actually trying to save it…and the plane is heading for the president’s villa in Miami and then we learn that the real hijacker is!!!!!! SPOILARZ ARE SAVED FOR THE FULL RECAP!!!!

Gossip Girl: SlifeGoesOn

Bonjour, mon Gasmii! Gossip Slife here. Seems one episode set in France just wasn’t enough for the writers of Gossip Girl, so last night we were treated to An American Princess in Paris, Part Deux. And honestly, if you’re a fan of Gossip Girl, it was a pretty decent episode. It did what Gossip Girl does best: it was steamy, scheme-y, and angsty … even if the steamy was Dan and Manessa (barf), the scheme-y was Nate (kinda weak sauce) and the angsty was Blair trying to pretend she was over Chuck. Fat chance, sweetie! Stick another French croissant in your face and shut…the front door!

Meanwhile, Louie Grimaldi continued to court Blair, (really?!) Slutina discovered that Chuck was not only alive and well, but pretending to be someone else all together, and Roofus and Lily turned Little J’s room into a nursery for Milo. LOL.

Elsewhere, Dan and Manessa hit the sheets and decided to give their relationship a second chance, (why?!) Nate started to fall for Juliet, whose backstory continues to intrigue me as we discovered she’s in cahoots with some mysterious partner, and Blair ruined her own fairy tale to help Chuck.

The cherry on the cake, however, was when the romantically indecisive Slutina came home to find that both Dan and Nate had decided to pass on her greedy, wonton ways, and her whole world was turned upside down by baby Milo. LOL. Stay tuned for the full recap!

Money Hungry: SexyPanda

Don’t you hate it when you think your DVR is recording something so you do something else when you’re supposed to be watching a show you’re covering, but then when you finally decide to sit down and watch it in a way that you can fast-forward through the commercials, you realize that it actually WASN’T recording and now you’re watching the last 10 minutes, including the “who goes home” portion without knowing anything else that happened so far? Then you have to find a way to rewatch it another time so you can write your mini-recap on time? But you lucked out because it re-aired only an hour later, but then you had to watch it all, which meant you went to bed really late? Yeah, me too.

So, this week on Money Hungry, there was another physical puzzle challenge. This time, the Bouncers did a bit better, but they still didn’t win. Someone did! But only they have immunity this week–there’s no extra goin’ around for another team. One team failed miserably at the challenge and is on the chopping block. Alliances are tested, broken, realigned, and rebroken as everyone figures out their strategy. Finally, some weigh-ins happen and a team goes home–a team I’m very glad to see going home. Come back later this week, we’ll chat!

(And no, I didn’t go to the Pescis’ party.)

Thintervention: SexyPanda

What a miserable episode. Am I right? The basic training/boot camp segment in the beginning was incredibly painful to watch, for all the anger and drama flying around. Nikki was part of it, as was crybaby Stacy and crabby-ass Joe. Jackie was in full-on super-bitch mode, too. Just no fun to watch. Oh, and Shay wasn’t a picnic either.

Later, they work out together in the Rose Bowl, and then they’re forced to be merry during a group pot-luck, hosted by Mandy. Tempers eventually flare, thanks again to Joe and Shay. Oh, and Stacy cries. Again.

Then we do stupid group therapy and people stand on scales. I know you were dying to know about all of that, so I made sure to include it in the mini-recap. But if you come back later this week, I promise to make even more self-evident comments about this show. Because, really, Thintervention is all about the obvious.

Drag U: Bluzgirl

Last night on the season finale of “Drag U”, it was a star-studded extravaganza! Well, “star” is a stretch and “studded” couldn’t be further than the truth, but it did have all three of my favorite professors (Raven, Jujubee and Pandora Boxx) so that right there was a total bonus. Our celebrity (must-resist-use-of-sarcastic-quotation-marks) students were Erin Murphy (Tabitha Stevens from “Bewitched”), Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing from “Dallas”) and Dawn Wells (Mary Ann from “Gilligan’s Island”). And the guest judge this week was Chaka Khan! So, although it is with a heavy heart and heavier eye make-up, we say good-bye to the first season of Drag U, this D-list event was a nice way to finish it.

Charlene and Juju work together and create Lisa Mercedes. Raven works with Dawn, who becomes Chickadee and Erin (with Pandora) becomes Aurora Borealis. We learn quickly, that you can pluck the girls from the spotlight but you can’t yank the spotlight from the girls’ asses as it becomes obvious very quickly Erin is a complete bitch. But she’s not the only one being difficult. All of the students posed a challenge for their mentors. But in the end and in front of not only family and friends, but a bunch of former draguates, Charlene Tilton ends up being the one to draguate with Top Honors. Her prize should have been to beat the crap out of Erin while the Drag queens held her down but I guess that’s not really an “Everybody Say Love” kind of thing to do…More details to come…