Updates on Thintervention, Gossip Girl, The Event, and Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Last week was the terror that is the lie detector test. Four of our friends were called out for being lying sons of bitches. Would that spur them into action this week?
Maybe, maybe not. I’ll tell you this–Bryan hosting Jeana and Mandy hosting Nikki sure made a difference to Nikki and Jeana! Wow, what a turnaround for both of ‘em. Otherwise, it was business as usual with workouts full of tears and yelling, a weird shopping trip to a Chinese herbal store to get herbs to make you horny, and a Pussycat Dolls workout as icing on the cake. I’m making an “ew” face as I write this, so come back to see more of my verbal sneer later this week when I recap the whole thing!
Gossip Girl: SlifeGoesOn
Gossip Slife here. Your one and only source for hilarious recaps of The CW’s trashy teen soap, Gossip Girl. I know it’s been kinda slim pickin’s lately, but last night’s episode was BY FAR the best of the season! First of all, I felt like the writers read my recap last week complaining that the kids are NEVER in school – and then set the entire episode at Columbia. Second, Juliet’s silly scheming finally led to some destruction AND tears. Third, Upchuck made good on his promise to wage war against Blair – with hilarious results. And finally, Slutina’s whoretastic shenanigans FINALLY came back to bite her in her (well-dressed for a change) ass! Hehehe
So, Slutina’s desire to get to school early for a change was admirable, and led to some delightful sparring with new guest star Sam Page (fresh off his stint on Desperate Housewives.) Unfortunately, the second she set foot on campus, someone (Juliet) spread a deliciously nasty rumor that she’d spread a decidedly nasty STD through her circle of friends: Nate, Dan, Vanessa, Chuck, Blair, etc. LOL. And the best part – everyone believed it!
Juliet and her “brother” Ben (I’m not convinced yet they are really sibs) plotted to ruin Slutina even further at a Hamilton House cocktail party and then pin it on Nate – but Juliet’s feelings for Nate clouded her judgment, and she framed Manessa instead! Manessa broke down in tears and plead innocence. And the best part – no one believed her! LOL
Upchuck did an admirable job of wreaking havoc on Blair’s life at Columbia, and vowed to continue his quest to destroy her by taking away everything that mattered to her. I’m sure many of you were groaning by the episode’s final scene, but I for one was giddy when Chuck called Parsons School of Design and reserved a spot – for none other than Little J! Mwahahahaha! The bitch is back! Stay tuned for the full recap!
The Event: Dangerously
Last night on The Event, shit….got….real. And yet, at the same time, very David Blaine…
Michael Buchanan and the others some how woke up from being dead. That’s pretty impressive, isn’t it? Neat trick. Weasel talked to Michael before VP could, and suspicions of treason and assassination are running rampant. But then, just as soon as the passengers seemed to be healthy, they all started bleeding from the nose!!
Sean and chick FBI agent and now galavanting across America in a Navigator sans the rear window…after some pretty sick driving and shooting, secret agent #1 from last week was dispatched, and Sean, being the computer geek he is, was able to disable the GPS in the car! They find a wifi signal and run a query on Vicky and all her known aliases, and end up at her mom’s house, where she’s ingeniously paying rent. Brilliant. Sean meets her kid and takes a photo, which I’m sure will come up.
Leila is locked in a basement, but manages to get a shard of glass from a broken beer bottle and cuts through her bindings, so when Vicky comes down to whack her she surprises her, knocks her over, takes her gun, and shoots her!!! Then she runs out the front door and sees a cop, so she gets picked up and taken to the station. Another cop there offers her water, and lets her call Sean. She leaves a message, because his phone died while taking the photo of Vicky’s kid. We see the older other cop walk to the back to get her the water he promised, and who’s in the back? Vicky and her accomplice!!! WOW!!!
Come back for the full recap, full of wit, snark, and misdirection!!!
Real Housewives of Atlanta: Flipit
This week’s Atlanta episode was pretty tame, but hey. NeNe can’t get all drunk and ghetto every week or she’d probably get fired. Last night she was sad because she lost Dwight and probably her husband, too. And most likely because her new nose still hurts.
We got to see Kim “exercise” with her personal assistant, and that was pretty hilarious. P90relaX. We met our new housewife, a bony ass model trying to get it up to marry a way older restaurant owner. She is pretty boring so far, but in the previews we see her sob a lot so I’m all for her. We also found out Ephedra’s husband is a convict. I think he got his tongue cut out in jail cuz that fool hasn’t said one single word. Who cares? He’s hot.
Sheree went on a date, and it was pretty awesome. She had to meet the guy at some skanky little club in a bad part of town and was not pleased at all. His laugh was annoying, he wanted her to dance, and he’s missing some hair. She was mad at first, but it’s been awhile since she’s gotten some and you know how that can lower your standards. She left all moon eyed and didn’t talk about her acting career once, so the guy must be doing something right.
Check out Leia LaBiblia’s recap in a couple days!