About Last Night: Tuesday

The Event: Dangerously
Alrighty, so last night on The Ev3nt someone else got tired of the shitty awkward scenes between Sean and Leila and tried to take matters into his own hands…
The episode started by forcing us to relive the final painfully performed scene between those two ill-fated clods. Ugh. Seriously, someone should just shoot one of them already. LOL, what do you think happened?!?!?
We learned via the news that all of the passengers on Avias 514 have been released, except for MFB, who the reporter tells us is dead. It turns out he’s not dead, but instead that he’s being held for questioning, considering he killed his co-pilot and tried to use the airplane as a weapon. Mr P goes in and asks him why he did it, and he says something about how he thought he wasn’t going to have to, but a call came in at 1:08 pm (he remembers the time because he looked at his watch…wait, wtf?) that gave them the green light to kill Mr P.
Mr P gets the phone records for the day of the assassination attempt for all of the people who were involved in the little meeting about whether or not they should tell the public about the Others, and it looks like Mr VP Is the asshole responsible!!
Back in shittyactingville, Leila kidnaps a strapping young doctor to tend to Sean’s bullet wound. She takes him to a pharmacy where he stocks up on medical supplies and then he performs some kind of emergency surgery on the side of the road. Thank goodness Sean is alive and well, so we don’t have to see Leila cry anymore, right?
The creepy old dude with the flowers from last week realizes that Mr VP is busted, and calls Vicky in to clean up the mess. He arranges a meeting with Mr VP, and Mr VP is shocked when instead of the creepy old man, a very young and not at all creepy (even when she’s standing in the shadows) Taylor Cole is waiting on him. She shoots the guy that’s with her and tells Mr VP to come clean. He calls Mr P and says he’s very sorry for trying to kill him, and is just about to reveal who put him up to it when a van explodes and kills him!!! Maybe!!! I guess we’ll see. Also, the creepy old dude finds out that Vicky didn’t kill Mr VP, so she’s probably fucked. Tough break, kid…
…and that’s what you missed on The Ev3nt!

About Last Night: Gossip Girl

Gossip Slife here. Your one and only source for hilarious recaps of The CW’s trashy teen soap, Gossip Girl. When I found out that our fave Upper East Siders was headed to yet another masquerade party (hello, season one leftovers!) I let out an audible groan. But this was no masked ball redux! Au contraire, mon frere! This was the episode that Kittkatt, Libithina and I have been LONGING for all season! Team Fug actually staged a successful takedown of Slutina!!

Indeed, Juliet, Little J, and Manessa put their boobs and brains together and hatched a deliciously devious plan to destroy Slutina. It started off simply enough with a salacious scandal splashed across Page Six. But that was merely the opening act for a tour de force performance they executed involving switched cell phones, blackmail, look-alike Carolina Herrera dresses, mistaken identities, stolen kisses, and a drug-laced mask. LOL.

Team Fug managed to pull off the impossible: they got everyone on the Upper East Side to turn against their the beloved, blonde bimbo. By the episode’s end, Nate and Dan felt used and washed their hands of Slutina’s sexual mind games. Dean Reuther wanted Slutina’s skanky ass booted from Columbia. Blair was in an uproar at the thought of Slutina honing in on her territory and hogging her spotlight. Lily decided to give up on her own daughter! And even Eric got his panties in a twist over his sister’s callous behavior.

And the best part? Juliet shed some more light on Ben’s backstory…and it seems that my prediction last week about his connection to Slutina was correct! I love being right! Stay tuned for the full recap, my pretty little gasmii!