About Last Night: Tuesday

Mini caps of The Bachelor, Pretty Little Liars, and Skins

The Bachelor: IceQueen

We’re eeking ever closer to finding out which of the final two bachelorettes Brad will appear on the cover of Star Magazine with… but first — some things to take care of on The Bachelor last night. It was a Very Special Episode: The Women Tell All… a/k/a Chris Harrison’s big moment to shine. He was in fine form: joking, leering, whistling, snarling and awkwardly attempting to ask a question every now and again.

We didn’t really learn anything new last night. The sad women are still sad. The bitter ones are still bitter. Pizza Breath still looks like she has pizza breath. Ashley got a makeover that somehow makes her look much older, even though it’s typically supposed to do the opposite. Shawntel N. made it through the entire episode without saying a word. The only one who was remotely entertaining was, as usual, Molechelle. And she spent most of the episode crying. She had no idea she was going to come off looking so bad! And all she wanted to do was find love! I mean, she left her daughter behind for this and she was in it for the right reasons!

The other girls really rip into Michelle: You were mean! You were sarcastic! You’re an unfit mother! You’re a spider! Way harsh, ladies. Was she really that awful to be around? Apparently, the poblem was that she was pretty nice and reasonable to people’s faces, but then she said all of that crazy stuff to the camera and surprised everyone while they were watching the episodes unfold. Also, the editing is partly to blame, says Michelle. Editing or not, there’s a lot of boo-hooing and sniffling from her and by the end of the episode her face is puffy and she is behaving completely sane and saying she and Brad just weren’t meant to be. And she hopes that he chooses Emily. So take that, Chantal. Never change, Michelle.

Other interesting crap that happened? Squeaky Ashley, the Ashley who was cut in Las Vegas and then cried for hours and hours after getting cut, wants to know why she wouldn’t make a good wife for Brad. And Chris wants to know why Other Ashley sabatoged her South African Experience with Brad. And then the Bachelor himself is finally hauled out to cheerfully talk about how goddamn in love he is in front of all of the women he rejected.

Also in the show: a blooper reel, Chris and Brad do some charity, and a preview of the petrie dish of communicable diseases known as Bachelor Pad. Plus, Chris Harrison, PhD diagnoses all the bachelorettes — with the same disorder! Shine on, you crazy Chris. Shine on.

If you wanna talk about The Bachelor before the recap is up, check out the forum thread here.

Pretty Little Liars: VirginiaApple

Well damn, Gasmii, things sure are picking up as we get close to the season finale! Let me take a break from mourning the end of my all-time favorite ABCFamily show to talk about my second favorite one for a bit:

Angstia accidentally sent a lovey-dovey text about gazing into each other’s eyes to her mother instead of Fitzy. Luckily for her, she did not mention him by name, but it did cause some parental concerns/suspicions about this new guy she’s dating. In fact, five minutes after Ella and Byron told their kids about their hesitant reconciliation, they were already fighting and possibly breaking up again. Poor, innocent Mike (for now- by the season finale he’ll probably be our newest suspect for A) blames Angstia for this and begs her to lie to their parents. Oh, if he only knew.

Emily and Paige continue to slowly develop their friendship/relationship after Paige’s brief dalliance with Hanna’s ex Shawn sends her straight to Emily’s bedroom. I wasn’t particularly enjoying watching Emily act crazy and jealous throughout the whole episode, but the last scene between them was very sweet and geniune. Speaking of crazy, now that Hanna has given up her V card to Caleb she’s completely smitten. She’s practically picking out curtains and china patterns for crying out loud. To his credit, Caleb does seem to be into her, but the girls discover his deal with Jenna just as he’s trying to get out of it. This leads to Hanna slapping the Big Dark Blind Person Glasses right off of Jenna’s face and clear across the room. And even though Jenna probably deserved it, I still felt bad for her as the tears streamed down her face. I’m such a softy, pitying blind people who just got slapped and whatnot.

Spencer is of course still being investigated, and now the police are going through her stuff. She and Toby continue to bond over their shared experience of being investigated for murder and feeling like afterthoughts to their own families. It’s weird seeing the usually so together Spencer start acting like a scared little girl, but nice to see her mom being there for her. Also, there is a completely awesome scene between her and Ian with great acting from BOTH parties. What a novel idea, show! Anyway, come back for the full recap so we can discuss the ethics of hitting a blind person, the acting abilities of secondary characters, and my new favorite theory that Mike really IS “A” – hey, it would make as much sense as anything else on this show!

If you wanna discuss Pretty Liars before the recap is up, check out the PLL thread in the forums here.

Skins: LadyStardust

This week is Daisy’s episode. Daisy has been kind of an underused character, so we find out quite a bit about her that the show’s never mentioned before. Such as, she she has a job at a Hooters knock-off restaurant (which I’m pretty sure doesn’t hire high schoolers, but whatever). She also has a little sister and a strict Filipino dad. I wonder if he knows about her job.

Daisy plays the trumpet and is saving up money to go to a music conservatory, but her dad won’t let any music in the house. Apparently Diasy’s mom left him and she was a musician. Yep, makes perfect sense to ban music from your children because their mother was a musician.

Also, their family is having money problems, so Daisy’s dad tries to sell her mom’s old piano. Unfortunately, Daisy’s little sister had a party (with Tony’s mute little sister Eura) and broke it. Daisy takes the blame and her dad makes her pay for it out of her music conservatory money. This is why you always have parties at OTHER people’s houses.

On top of her problems at home, Daisy has the privilege of being the only sane person in her group of friends. So it falls on her to try and make everyone get along again. She fails miserable and then decides to have sex with Abbud. Ew. Really, Daisy? You’re supposed to be the smart one.

And in our subplot, Cadie is still hanging out with Warren. No one cares. This is another really boring episode. Come back in a few days to read the full recap. You know you want to. In the meantime, check out the new Skins thread in the forums.