Mini caps of The Bachelorette and True Beauty
The Bachelorette: Bbitz
Last night on “The Bachelorette”, Ali visits each of her beau’s chateau’s and playfully comes off as the happy home-wrecker to their families. She gets to play balls with Roberto, gets stink-eye from Chris’ sisters, gets to see Kirk’s Dad’s animal mortuary (effectively creeping her and an entire national viewing audience the fuck out) and gets mind-fucked by Frankie in Chi-caaaaaago! And then, after getting their families all excited to be in the tabloids for the next year, Ali gets to crush one familie’s dream by ditching their boy! Back to obscurity folks! This one hurts like never before! LOVE HURTS! BWAHHHHH! Stay tuned for my full recap! It’s a family affair!
True Beauty: Medusa
Not gonna lie to you faithful Gasmi, I missed the first 10 minutes of True Beauty last night because I was watching Danielle Staub be carried away from the country club like Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard. I almost felt a pang of sympathy for her until her interview where her plastic surgery-induced Marty Feldman eye distracted me.
When I did tune into ABC, Carson’s in the suite to announce the casino challenge to the contestants who are returning from a poolside happy hour. TaylorBear is slurring a bit, will he sober up in time to pass the two TRUE challenges? The contestants will encounter a cocktail swigging pregnant lady and a douchebag pit boss. While they intervene in either situation? Or are they just to busy tending to their own “situations”?