About Last Night: Tuesday

Mini Caps of Bachelor Pad, Drag U, and Money Hungry

Bachelor Pad: Swellmel

In last night’s series premiere, Bachelor Pad brought back 19 of our favorite Bachelor/Bachelorette rejects and villains including Princess Tenley, Crazy Eyes Michelle, Evil Wes and much to Weatherman Jonathan’s dismay also his arch nemesis Craig M.

We learned that the former Bachelors/Bachelorettes will be
• Squaring off in head-to-head challenges to compete for immunity (ah like Survivor minus Jeffy ‘Dimples’ Probst) and the opportunity to go on a date with the contestant of their choice.
• The winner of the challenge will then grant immunity to one of his or her dates via the presentation of a rose.
• At the end of each episode, the contestants will vote amongst themselves to determine which cast members will be eliminated from the competition.

This recipe calls for a dash of Survivor, ½ a cup of Temptation Island, ¾ parts Bachelor/Bachelorette rejects and 25,000 gallons of pool water.

Come back Wednesday to find out who cried, who schemed, who hooked up and which Bachelor and Bachelorette had to take the limo ride of shame once again.

Money Hungry: SexyPanda

Last night on Money Hungry, the remaining eleven teams battled it out Sisyphus-style (that is, ball-pushing) in their first challenge. The winning team earned immunity for the week, and they were also given the chance to bestow immunity on another team. The ball-pushing was funny, as ball-pushing tends to be. And we got our first good look at who really gives a shit and who doesn’t.

The last team across the finish line automatically ends up on the chopping block. Then, in the twist that was revealed this week, the house gets to vote for another team to be on the chopping block at weigh in. Whichever of the two teams on the chopping block loses the least amount of weight goes home. They don’t reveal who the house-voted chopping block team is until the actual weigh in. So there’s all kinds of subterfuge and politicking going on, as well as desperate weight-loss attempts by the team that KNOWS they’re on the block.

Now that there’s a house vote in play, personalities clash and teams start to become allies or enemies. Team Cher is an immediate target because of how annoying Dancy McSingy is. Team Snowman Teachers also becomes a target, as Dancy McSingy campaigns for her team’s survival.

And it was all a pleasure to watch. Don’t let my dry summary here dissuade you from watching the show or reading the full recap later this week. I’m saving all my good shit for that. Come back!

Drag U: Bluzgirl

There is a God and he must be sporting a wig, stick on nails, fake eyelashes and a lot of glitter, because this week on “Drag U”, we move away from drama-filled Oprahesque makeovers to pure, unadulterated fun! The students at “Drag U” this week aren’t your normal students. They are the actual, biological sisters of our President (no, not that one…the one who wears a little more make-up in front of the camera), RuPaul. We get to meet Rozy, Ru’s younger sister and his two older sisters (and twins), Renetta and Renae. Our professors this week were Raven (with Rozy), Shannel (with Renae) and JuJubee (with Renetta).

Now, these are three fairly confident, rather conservative women but will they stay that way when they turn into Bianca Dinkins, Cupcake and Starrbooty??? Their rehearsals with the Dean of Dance go better than most, since these ladies share DNA with our RP and seem a lot less stiff then previous contestants/students/headcases. Their performance piece (of potential s**t) is “We Are Family” which gets a pass for not being even remotely contemporary because it is the obvious choice for this group.

There are your normal tips from the Professors like sounding out “watermelon, bubble gum, and vagina” if you forget the words to a song. Or if you just want to mumble them constantly and keep the people at work the hell away from you. You’d be surprised how well that works. There is meditation with JuJu and Renatta and RP even goes deep into the “Drag U” archives to find the perfect dresses for his sisters’ draguation. Our judges, including Kelly Osbourne as this week’s guest judge, were pretty tough on RP’s sisters, even handing out a D grade to one of them. In the end, the winner was Renae (Cupcake), who apparently had all the frosting and sprinkles to beat out her sisters…