Millionaire Matchmaker: SexyPanda
Welcome back, Patty Stanger and Co.! And welcome to the Big Apple!
This season, Patty will attempt to hook up neurotic Jews and bombastic guidos with the loves of their lives. Or, at least that’s what this season premiere leads us to believe. On tonight’s episode, Patty works with a sports-oriented guy from Staten Island who is exactly the stereotype you’d expect, who actually has a heart of gold. She also tries really hard to find a nice Jewish boy for the stoniest, coldest bitch this side of the Mississippi, to no avail. It’s excruciating to watch. (And I promise to use many variations of “cold” and “stony” when talking about her.) Otherwise, it’s business as usual for the matchmaker we all know and love! Come back, we’ll tawk!
Biggest Loser: Bluzgirl
On Biggest Loser, the five people who competed in the various cities got another chance to get on the ranch. Selfishly, I was rooting for dreadhead life coach, Corey, just because I wanted him to make it to makeover week and see Tim Gunn use his fine, manicured hands to rip out Corey’s stupid goatee. So, we get to reacquaint ourselves with him, Anna (lost her little boy to cancer), Shanna (breast cancer survivor), Sandy (lost her brother), and Montina (doesn’t have a sad story, but does sport huge earrings. For a weigh in. I know). They all did extremely well, but it is Anna who knocked it out of the park with a 39lb weight loss, so she is back in the game. And oh boy, what a game it is becoming.
The next twist is now the group will be divided into blue (trained by Bob) and black (trained by Jillian) and Anna gets to pick the teams. She wisely spends time with each contestant to get the mood of the group and who they each want to be with. Also–she gets to pick someone to get immunity. And this is important: that someone could be her. So, they get divided into teams and Anna gives immunity to Patrick. Because it makes complete and total sense to not take it yourself when you’re already the odd man out. Anna–these people are playing a game and playing it hard–better wise up fast. Patrick goes to the team who loses the weigh in. There is a lot of strategy and talk about throwing the weigh in to get the prized possession which is Patrick, but the only weight loss that looks like shenanigans is Boston Brendan, who loses only 2lbs and immediately denies throwing it. Worst. Liar. Ever. Anna is scared to death she’ll be the first to go, but it is our elder gentleman, Rick, who is shown the door…Trust me, these people are playing very seriously here and it’s not that whole “saving our lives” stuff we’re used to with this show. All the gory details to come…