About Last Night: Wednesday

Mini Caps of Dancing with the Stars and Millionaire Matchmaker

Millionaire Matchmaker: SexyPanda

I think Bravo wants us to be happy and cozy for Thanksgiving, because we actually had a positive and sweet Millionaire Matchmaker for once!

Millionaire #1 was some doofy surfer guy who probably rubs a lot of people the wrong way but isn’t wholly a bad dude. Patti matches him with an unusual match, and it actually seems to work out. (I’d LOVE to know the current status.) Millionairess #2 was “the female Fabio,” the woman who’s graced the covers of a zillion romance novels. That was clearly a long time ago, and/or airbrushing is her best friend, lover, accountant, personal chef, and brazilian waxer. Anyway, Patti brings in a great guy for her, too, so THEY seem to be doing really well.

Ah, love. Happy Thanksgiving! See you in a few days with the full recap!

Dancing With the Stars: Flipit

Last night’s DWTS was hokey, cheesy, and extremely long. Gary Coleman Randy Jackson (Kyle) lost a shit ton of weight, Jennifer Grey got lots of bad plastic surgery, and Bristol just looked adorable and made us all look forward to the Presidential elections in 2016, when she’ll hopefully have had enough experience with her Abstinence Campaign to run for Leader of the Free World. Hey, why not?

This was a fun season with lots of fun trainwrecks (Bolton) and lots of ass (Maks). And Brandy faces. Ok I could have done without those but still. They were there. A lot.

It was a pretty exciting night (out drinking with friends) so I won’t go into too much detail here (because I would just be making crap up), but I think Bristol lost cuz my Meemaw emailed me that her American flag is lowered today. Whatever that means.

Come back soon for the full eight hours of DWTS programming recaps later on!!