Mini caps of Biggest Loser and Millionaire Matchmaker
Biggest Loser: Bluzgirl
So, we’re down to the final four. Last night our players went home, most notably Ada to her godawful parents and her Dad pretty much lived up to his prick reputation. We found out Frado is pretty damn wealthy and has kidnapped Curtis Stone to cook for a bunch of his friends. Also—Patrick’s wife must have a boat load of tank tops, but at least she has a job. Wheezy has moved in with her semi-hot, burrito eating boyfriend and proves that she can piss us all off even more, because she didn’t do so well at home. Why? Because it’s so haaaard.
They find out they all have to participate in a full (26.2) mile marathon, as did previous seasons’ contestants and they all have the nerve to look surprised. Because if there’s anything Biggest Loser isn’t, it’s predictable. Please. Bob and Jillian go to each of their homes to see how the players are doing and in Jill’s case, beat the crap out of Wheezy when she opens her fridge and sees all the junk she has in there. She wouldn’t be happy with my vodka-laden freezer but guess what? I’m not on a reality show. Wheezy is, however, and hasn’t been working out very hard. Anyone shocked? On the other hand, Ada has been struggling, but not for the same reasons. Her goal in the marathon is to beat previous contestant Tara’s time in the marathon. And because it is our machine Ada, she does handily, even after an extended bathroom break. They all finish the marathon and sweaty hugs were had by all.
At the weigh in, we find there will be two people who will fall below the yellow line. The two above are automatically participating in the finale. America will vote for the 3rd one to join them. Ada has her worst weigh in ever at 12lbs and falls below with Wheezy. Patrick and Frado are automatically in it at the end and America will decide who deserves to go with them—Ada or Wheezy. If Wheezy wins this over Ada, I will throw my pizza crusts at the TV and vow never to watch this show again…
Millionaire Matchmaker: SexyPanda
Holy shit, kids. This week was a doozy.
After two weeks in a row with people seeming to actually find successful matches, we swirl around the bowl, right back to where we started. And, really, it’s almost worse than ever. Don’t you agree?
The first millionaire is a divorce attorney with a chip on his shoulder. Also, he thinks his shoulder is that of a Greek god, and he enjoys taking off his clothes to show you. Ick. His date isn’t terrible, especially considering the first impression he led with, but still…no bueno.
Millionaire Number Two is a creepazoid from the planet Scary. He didn’t necessarily come off as creepy at first–just a little not-blinky and weird with the head-cocking.I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. But as the episode rolled on, we were exposed to ALL the creep involved in this guy’s basic existence. It’s BAD. His date is BAD. I even feel bad for his mini-dates, because they are THAT BAD. And they’re only 10 minutes of supervised chatter!
Come back, we’ll talk!