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Millionaire Matchmaker: Sexy Panda
Yay, hope you all had happy holidays, ‘Gasmii! I got a break last week for Christmas, which was, um, AWESOME. We have a new episode of Patti craziness this week, though, and here’s what happened, in a nutshell:
Millionaire 1 is a late-forties gay douchebag who likes to bone very young men and wonders why he’s single, why no one plans to care about him when he’s old. We find out a few reasons why he’s single as he insults his date and whines nasally about everything in the world. I’m not telling you something you don’t already know when I tell you that a drink was thrown in his face during his date. You already knew that. Did you already know, though, that I clapped when that happened? Well, NOW you know.
Millionaire 2 is an -ess, a big blonde Russian chick with way too much money and way too much boob. She’s probably a sweetheart, but she comes across as being very cold. Also, you can’t help but talk to yourself in a Russian accent the rest of the night as you make lunch for work the next day, brush your teeth, etc. “You likes the cucumber in salad, for to eat next day, yes?” Her accent is CLASSIC. Her date’s a nice guy, I guess, but he does one thing to turn her off hardcore, and it’s a total date fail.
Come back, we’ll talk!