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Wednesday, December 29, 2010
11:00 am
10 Comments
Millionaire Matchmaker: Sexy Panda
Yay, hope you all had happy holidays, ‘Gasmii! I got a break last week for Christmas, which was, um, AWESOME. We have a new episode of Patti craziness this week, though, and here’s what happened, in a nutshell:
Millionaire 1 is a late-forties gay douchebag who likes to bone very young men and wonders why he’s single, why no one plans to care about him when he’s old. We find out a few reasons why he’s single as he insults his date and whines nasally about everything in the world. I’m not telling you something you don’t already know when I tell you that a drink was thrown in his face during his date. You already knew that. Did you already know, though, that I clapped when that happened? Well, NOW you know.
Millionaire 2 is an -ess, a big blonde Russian chick with way too much money and way too much boob. She’s probably a sweetheart, but she comes across as being very cold. Also, you can’t help but talk to yourself in a Russian accent the rest of the night as you make lunch for work the next day, brush your teeth, etc. “You likes the cucumber in salad, for to eat next day, yes?” Her accent is CLASSIC. Her date’s a nice guy, I guess, but he does one thing to turn her off hardcore, and it’s a total date fail.
Come back, we’ll talk!
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10 Comments
WHAT is wrong with that pic of Patti up there?!?!?!
Hahahaha. I didn’t pick it!
It’s Patti v1.0, where she’s fake-baked and yukky-banged!
And maybe large-noggined.
Who’s that man in the wig?
Nikki, that’s what she looks like. Every day, including Christmas and Easter. No break, even on Sundays. You wake up as Patti Stanger, and that’s what you have to look forward to.
I guess I’d be a total thunder cunt, too.
I would’ve had a different reaction than the Russian chick to her date’s dance.
My god, she’s so SPARKLY.
Where is her face? I am blinded by GLITTER. That is a DON’T Patti Stanger!
Thundercunt is the most perfect word ever. It makes me laugh every time I see it. lol And since Patty has gotten into the habit of telling one of her millionaires to fuck off on every episode lately, she IS the poster girl.
Why aren’t her Alfalfa bangs sparkly? Just the hair extensions hanging down are glittered up.
(I really despise this woman–I tried watching the show a couple of times and literally wanted to shoot the television set. I now know why Elvis wanted to shoot a television set.)