We’re still waiting for 90210 and Melrose Place to come back, but their absence didn’t mean we didn’t have plenty to watch. Join us!
Bad Girls Club: Cherie:
Last night on BGC, Batshit put itching powder in KlanBarbie’s bed. They still make that stuff? Batshit generally got on everyones nerves and then Batshit and KlanBarbie kissed and made up. Literally. This pissed the other dingbats off. Looney gave us a history lesson, then the twits went go-cart racing and unfortunately no one was killed.
There was lots of drinking and fighting, and Looney finally grew some balls and lost her shit. Did I mention there was fighting? Lexie went on a rampage to find out who nicknamed her Miss Piggy and all hell broke loose. Oh and there’s more spitting too. Then they all shared a group hug and all was well in all the land. That last part is bullshit so you’ll just have to wait for the recap to find out what really happened. To check out the Bad Girls Club archives, go here.
American Idol and The Good Wife: Flipit
I don’t start recapping AI full time until the performance shows, and episodes like last night’s really make me regret it. There was a big sweaty guy with bad hair that looked like an unkept version of Bob’s Big Boy and refused to leave the room after stinking it up because someone told him all you need to succeed is adamance and will. A bath and some talent might just get you there buddy!
The freakshow was in full swing, as TwuntyMcslore’s upcoming recap will no doubt detail. Simon really liked a “worship leader”, which means GOKEY. ARGH!! Thankfully, this worship master doesn’t have a dead wife. He has a live wife and some brats. And they all wear plaid. All the time. He sang a song he wrote, and it’s your typical worship leader fare. “Life is soooo great yay life happy times yay.” That was almost a direct quote. Avril didn’t want to pass him through cuz he has kids and life as a stah is hard and he will have to leave them so she said no. Skara, not one to form her own thoughts ever, jumped on the Avril bandwagon and said “I don’t know…I don’t know if you’ll be there for your church.” LOL. I think even Jesus got a good laugh at Skara talking about church.
There was also a punked out, ate up single mom who could sing her ass off, and a kid whose dad “saved me from being in the gangs, or death” by moving out of Compton. They’re really running dry on the sob stories at this point. I got out of El Paso, Texas, but that doesn’t mean otherwise I would have been a maid or taco stand owner. The dad cried a lot, which led me to believe his ass was out of Compton cuz he kept getting beat up for being a wuss. Possible gang member had a killer voice, and should do well.
The best part of the show for me were the guest judges. Avril Levine was dressed like a demonic baby toy and she was really giggly and mean. Katy Perry was stunningly gorgeous, had a fun cynical ass attitude, and was also pretty rude. I love them like that. You know, when they’re NOT SINGING. Those two are f ing terrible. At the end of the day, we learned Los Angeles can house sociopaths and narcissists better than anyone else. The real news of the day came from the internets. Ellen already hates Simon and is supposedly talking shit behind his back. This should be some fun times!!
The Good Wife: So as most of you know, I am in my thirties but somehow fall into that “age 45-100″ category when the subject of TV comes up. Matlock? Yes, please. Murder She Wrote? Yes. Mentalist? Every episode. Law and Order? Well, yes until they started pushing that darn liberal agenda down my throat! (shakes fists to Heavens) See what I mean?
My point is, it’s only natural that I would be so in love with The Good Wife. A woman who has taken way too much shit from a man rises up and finds herself by BEING herself: a smart, talented lawyer who wears Gucci and Prada. The twist is that she’s not just a lawyer, she’s a junior assistant working her way up the food chain against people way younger than her. At the end of the day, she still wins every case and makes me feel like I could be smart one day too, which puts the show solidly in Matlock territory. Without the moobs, of course.
Last night’s episode was a repeat. I have seen every show and when a repeat comes on it takes me ten minutes to figure out that I’ve already seen it. Is that a bad sign? Or does it just tell you how few brain cells I have left? The episode was about a party girl turned Orthodox Jew who’s family was being sued for 1.5 mil cuz someone tripped outside their house. Sound boring? Well, it turned out that the woman tripped cuz the Jews didn’t fix their sidewalk or whatever cuz it was Sabbath and they’re not allowed to work. There was lots of crying and lots of drama and stuff, and then Julianna (of course) beat all odds and came through in the end. I was left with this thought: I need to become Jewish. I need better excuses in my repertoire than “I didn’t turn in my recap cuz I was TIIIIIIRED”.
I still have Spartacus, Big Love, and Damages on the DVR but I couldn’t make it through all that goodness. What did you guys watch?