Last night, the Olympics were on. Chooch caught the opening ceremony for us, so come on in!
I did the impossible. I watched the opening ceremonies of this year’s Winter Olympics in Canada. I won’t lie to you. I paused it a lot & then FF’d to something I thought would be interesting. I was expecting spectacular & once in awhile I got what I wanted, but not very often. When those four huge frozen phalli emerged from the floor of the arena & the natives started dancing around them, I decided this was a good time to pause the TV. Didn’t anyone think those statues looked a tad “hard”? Cultural & native dancing are part of every country’s heritage, but there’s a time & a place for it & that’s what casinos are for.
Everybody lip-synced their songs & were awful at it. Even the tap-dancing dude did a tap-syncing number that would have made Ashley Simpson proud. KD Lang was the best of the lot, but I was wondering what everyone around the world was thinking…. “Is that a dude?” “Looks like one, but sounds like a chick.” “hmmm… what’s the name? KD? ..well that doesn’t tell us a whole lot now does it.” KD’s gotten a little thick in the middle & her white tux just wasn’t as flattering as the pin-striped one she wore on the cover of Vanity Fair years ago. The cameraman never did go in for a close-up either. I wanted to check for facial hair too.
The parade of athletes came out early & they let them all go sit down instead of standing thru the whole show like they usually do. I’m rooting for the guy from Mexico, the only team member. He’s 50+ years old & he’s an alpine skier. Wouldn’t it be awesome if he won a gold medal. Only one Jamaican too. He’s a young guy who’s free-style skiing. It was sad to see the team from Georgia come out with their flag at half mast. They had just lost one of their own in the morning, when he was killed during a practice run for the luge. There was a moment of silence for him later in the show.
The one thing I did “ooo & ahhh” over was the skating & visual production, where it looked like real whales were swimming across the arena. I had to watch that twice! When they finally got to the lighting of the torch, I was expecting spectacular again. Instead I got Wayne Gretsky, staring blankly, because there seemed to be a major malfunction. Four huge chunky arms were suppose to come out of the floor & cross, but only three did. After a bit of confusion, “the show must go on” & the torch got lit. Ugliest design EVER! Then Wayne had to go outside, hop a cab & go light another one across town outside. “Let the games begin!” It was finally over.
By the way… the new version of “We are the World” sucked ass.