About Last Night: Olympics

About Last Night

By Staff | Saturday, February 13, 2010 | 10:03 am | 11 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , ,

Last night, the Olympics were on. Chooch caught the opening ceremony for us, so come on in!

600Px-Olympic Rings Squaresvg

Olympics: Chooch

I did the impossible. I watched the opening ceremonies of this year’s Winter Olympics in Canada. I won’t lie to you. I paused it a lot & then FF’d to something I thought would be interesting. I was expecting spectacular & once in awhile I got what I wanted, but not very often. When those four huge frozen phalli emerged from the floor of the arena & the natives started dancing around them, I decided this was a good time to pause the TV. Didn’t anyone think those statues looked a tad “hard”? Cultural & native dancing are part of every country’s heritage, but there’s a time & a place for it & that’s what casinos are for.

Everybody lip-synced their songs & were awful at it. Even the tap-dancing dude did a tap-syncing number that would have made Ashley Simpson proud. KD Lang was the best of the lot, but I was wondering what everyone around the world was thinking…. “Is that a dude?” “Looks like one, but sounds like a chick.” “hmmm… what’s the name? KD? ..well that doesn’t tell us a whole lot now does it.” KD’s gotten a little thick in the middle & her white tux just wasn’t as flattering as the pin-striped one she wore on the cover of Vanity Fair years ago. The cameraman never did go in for a close-up either. I wanted to check for facial hair too.

The parade of athletes came out early & they let them all go sit down instead of standing thru the whole show like they usually do. I’m rooting for the guy from Mexico, the only team member. He’s 50+ years old & he’s an alpine skier. Wouldn’t it be awesome if he won a gold medal. Only one Jamaican too. He’s a young guy who’s free-style skiing. It was sad to see the team from Georgia come out with their flag at half mast. They had just lost one of their own in the morning, when he was killed during a practice run for the luge. There was a moment of silence for him later in the show.

The one thing I did “ooo & ahhh” over was the skating & visual production, where it looked like real whales were swimming across the arena. I had to watch that twice! When they finally got to the lighting of the torch, I was expecting spectacular again. Instead I got Wayne Gretsky, staring blankly, because there seemed to be a major malfunction. Four huge chunky arms were suppose to come out of the floor & cross, but only three did. After a bit of confusion, “the show must go on” & the torch got lit. Ugliest design EVER! Then Wayne had to go outside, hop a cab & go light another one across town outside. “Let the games begin!” It was finally over.

By the way… the new version of “We are the World” sucked ass.

About

11 Comments

  1. 1
    shantigal
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Glad I skipped it. Sounds like I didn’t miss much, except for the whales. There’s probably a YouTube video of that I can watch. Thanks.

  2. 2
    fire@will
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    I really enjoyed it. I think it was probably pretty spectacular for the folks who were there. I especially enjoyed the part with the kid on the wires.

    I looked up the video of the luge accident. Not pretty, but at least he must not have suffered. I really feel for his poor dad, who is the leader of the Georgia delegation. Talk about going from victory to defeat in an instant.

  3. 3
    brat
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    Sorry, gotta disagree with ya. I loves the opening ceremonies. I felt the whole thing defined Canada really well. It was really cool to see a ceremony that encompased who I am. Loved the aboriginal dancing and welcome, loved the whales, loved the slam poet, loved the acrobats. Yes the singers lip synced, but that is what happens at ALL major ceremonies now a days (or else it sounds like major crap due to accoustics). As for KD lang – good for her for being just who she is- why should she try to be anything else. Very proud to be Canadian

  4. 4
    ash310
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    I love the opening ceremonies except when the show starts I want the sportscasters to STOP TALKING. Just shut your mouth and let us hear the music. And for the video directors stop showing the audience reaction instead of the show. Why would you think a shot of Shawn White saying “Wow” is more interesting than what is making him say wow?? And since I’m on the subject, what is up with doing close ups of skaters faces (or dancers for that matter) when its what they are doing with their feet that matters?

    There I feel better now.

  5. 5
    Memememe
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    I agree with every word you said and I’ll add that each of the segments took entirely too long. The visual effects were at times spectacular, but overall it was rather boring. The cauldron-lighting was abysmal. And what’s with making your Olympic torch look like Superman’s Fortress of Solitude? And then making two of them? bizarre.

    C+

  6. 6
    bBitz
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 11:04 pm

    I LOVED the opening ceremonies! However – there was definitely lots to make fun of.
    And Ash310 – I AGREE with you on everything!!! Drives me NUTS!

  7. 7
    ohralphie
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 5:59 am

    The whales were definately an ‘ahh!’ moment. And I absolutely loved KD Lang. I wished she would have sang more.

    But what was up with the punk hillbilly tap dancers? Does that really define Quebec? I can’t imagine that it would.

    And yes bbitz – the new version of We Are the World did suck ass, and hard.

  8. 8
    brat
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 9:34 am

    ohralphie
    the punk hillbilly tap dancers don’t really represent Quebec, but is a very good representation of the maritime provinces – especially the acadian heritage of Nova Scotia. Come to think of it, there wasn’t a lot of representation of Quebec, expect for the singer Garou. Thankk god they didn;t put Celine Dion on to represent Quebec.

  9. 9
    Memememe
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 11:03 am

    When I think of Quebec I think of Cirque du Soleil. Is that really off the mark?

  10. 10
    Memememe
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 11:04 am

    oh and one more thing — I was a little surprised to see no mention of Rush, either in person or in the vignette. I mean, they showed comedians for crying out loud, and no Rush?

  11. 11
    travi360
    Posted February 14, 2010 at 12:06 pm

    Maybe its just because i’ve grown up in BC all my life, but i was extremely moved by the opening ceremonies. Especially now that I am living in the host city :) The Cultural History of Canada I thought was amazing, I was swelling with pride the entire time. And the Poet, Shane Koyczan who did an amazing rendition of his poem We Are More, is a good friend of mine so that made it all the more special. But I could see how some could be bored with them if they don’t have the special connections that others do.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Human Verification: In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.